Well folks.  As much as I tried to deny it, it's that time of year again.  With the economic peril, no one wants to think about gifts this year, but it has to be done. Good little boys and girls are looking for Santa and Mr. Hanukkah guy to come through. But since we are all broke it's imperative to choose wisely.
  So let me show you

MOMOFJENMATT'S FAVORITE BOOKS AND TOYS:

Children's books:  I am a big reader and I always read to my kids and encouraged them to read, so this one is very important to me.  I also believe it's important to be realistic with kids, so here are some of my favorites.




























Never too early to get kids into politics.



Even though she lost, a Sarah Palin action figure is something every child would enjoy.  A toy for boys and girls.

 

Or just a Sarah doll!

Ever wonder how you can get those kids to clean the toilet?????

Barbies are always a cheap way to go. 













 



Stocking stuffer!!!!

For the teen crowd

Kids need to get off the video games and play with some old fashioned games that promote learning and creativity.




 



IT REALLY WORKS!!!!!!!



So save those pennies people and make sure your little ones have the best holiday ever. 

 

Last night expunge ( ex husband who I live with) went up to our neighboring state of Wisconsin for a fish fry.

If my mother is reading this she might say "  but you hate fish, except the tuna kind in a can with mayo", and she would be correct.  However, expunge loves fish, and I didn't want him to feel like a third wheel.  I know, have you ever known anyone to be as nice to their ex as I am?

Anyway, I liked the company, our friends Kitty and Jack ( not their real names).  So we go to the fish fry and I get a salad which is really besides the point, and we have a nice time.  After dinner we listened to a bunch of old guys sing country Karaoke and we headed home.

Jack drove there and the roads were kind of twisty turny as they often are in Wisconsin.  A margarita and a couple beers were not conductive to driving home, so Kitty drove home.

On the way there Kitty and I sat in back, and the boys sat up front.  That seemed fine, because then Kitty and I could gossip about mutual friends and what not without yelling.  Any mutual friends reading this, it wasn't you.

On the way home Kitty and I were in front, and the boys were in back, which did seem kind of weird, but expunge had drunk two margaritas, and their back seat was small.  Frankly, I didn't want to be stuck back there in case he tried to get fresh with me.
 
So we are driving along the twisty, turny roads, when all of a sudden we see HIM.

A hidden cop.

Kitty slams on the breaks and takes her foot off the accelerator.  :side note:  If anyone knows what it is called when you take your foot off the accelerator and it increases in speed, let me know as Kitty was frustrated she could not think of the word.

You guessed it, Officer Fish Fry ( Jack's name for him) stops the car. 

  I immediately revert to the days when we used to drink and drive in neighboring Wisconsin, as the drinking age was lower there.  Of course it was practically legal to drink and drive then, but we may have had marijuana too.   And they were getting strict about that in the late 70's. 

Me to Kitty:  Be cool man.  we can get out of this

Me to guys in the back:  Just be cool, keep your mouths shut

Kitty:  Shit!

Officer Fish Fry:  Good evening, do you know why I stopped you?

Kitty:  Umm, no, yeah kind of.

Officer Fish Fry:  Well mam, you were going 38 mph, the speed limit is 25 mph

Kitty:  Oh, well, I just kind of whipped around that corner and the road is really smooth.

Me:  She DID NOT WHIP!!!!!  THAT"S NOT WHAT SHE MEANT.

Great, this was not going well.  Kitty was being super uncool.  She's screwed.

I was just glad the boys were being quiet back there.

Officer Fish fry:  Mam, I am going to need to see your license and registration and if I could have everyone in the vehicles ID too please.

Expunge:  All of us?

Officer Fish Fry:  yes sir, if you all check out I'll just give you a warning.

We give him our licenses and he goes to his squad car to check us out.

Expunge:  WTF, why did we have to do that?  This is BullS@#t.

Me:  Shut up!!!!!  Unless you have a warrant she's going to get a warning, I told you she could get out of it.

Expunge:  I don't have to shut up, I can say whatever I want, besides he's not even here

Me:  No you can't.

Jack:  I bet he thinks we're gay, sitting back here together.

Expunge:  Uh Oh, my license expired on the 3rd.

Me:  Damit, expunge, now we are really screwed.  wait, you're not driving.  Can we get in trouble if your not driving?  Why DID he take all our licenses?

Jack:  Your pretty lucky Kitty, I'm not going to say anything but I told you to drive the speed limit around here.

Me:  I thought you weren't going to say anything

Kitty:  Shit

Me:  Kitty, what was that crap about whipping around the curve and the roads being smooth?  Very un cool.  You're supposed to be sorry and say thank you about the warning. 

Kitty:  I WILL and what do you have a tape recorder brain or something? I can't even remember what I said.  He was shinning that flash light in my eyes.

Jack:  Is he cute? He seemed like he had a nice body.

Kitty:  He is cute.

Expunge:  You know, this is really BS. he can't take all our licenses, we could have refused.

Jack:  Then she would have gotten a ticket.

Me:  I think it's because you guys look like murders or something.  I am NOT going down for this.

Jack:  What's taking so long?  It's all your fault Expunge.  You probably have a warrant.

Me:  Even if we were convicted felons, I don't know what that has to do with Kitty's speeding.

Expunge:  EXACTLY!

Kitty:  You know, this really isn't my fault, what's that word for what happens when you take your foot off the accelerator and it keeps going fast?

Jack:  cruising?

Kitty:  No, that word, you know

Me:  still accelerating

Kitty:  No the other thing

Jack:  If one of you has a past he can search the car

Me:  No he can't, I could be an ax murderer, that is NOT probable cause

Jack : yes it is

Me:  Is not!  I was a criminal justice major.

Officer fish fry:  Okay Mrs. Jack, I am giving you a warning, but be careful on these roads, a ticket would have been $78.00, now you have no court date or anything.

Officer fish fry said this in a way that showed he really expected kitty to be overly grateful

Kitty:  thanks.  : throws warning at me, and I shove it in her glove box

Jack:  Make sure you signal when you go out

Kitty pulls out without signaling. 

Jack:  Dammit Kit, I said signal, he's gonna stop you again

Kitty:  Oh please I was already in the road

Me:  ( Yawn )  That was strange, I'm glad we didn't end up in the pokey. 

Kitty:  You're not allowed to blog about this

Hey if you're my friend, anything that happens is up for grabs.

It's over, finally, the most stressful election of my life.  it's not fun being non apathetic, even when you win.
Although I  thought McCain's concession speech was very gracious, I wished he would have been a little harder on his supporters when they booed so much.  Then again, I guess they are allowed their disappointment and I know a lot of them are genuinely scared. 

Nothing I say here is going to help, time will tell. 

I will say though, that this country cannot afford to show weakness, so I do suggest you get behind your new president. 
At least give the man a chance.

Although this is supposed to not really be about race, and although Barrack is mixed race, I still want to congratulate all the African Americans at work.  The majority of our staff is black and about half of our clients are too.    This has to be an amazing feeling for them.  I might give them a hug.

I had an opportunity to go to Grant park in Chicago, since a guy I work with didn't want to be down there all night.  He had tickets.  I didn't want to either, so he actually sold two on Craig's list for two hundred bucks.

Whatever, it looked too crowded, no place to sit, they were all standing for hours.  I voted Obama, but my couch was just fine thank you.

I did not like Michelle's dress.  There I said it. Sorry Michelle, not my taste.  The girls were adorable, but the dress, not so much.  So I am wondering now, do the girls go back to school today?  Will they bring secret service?  Will their friends be like "  now ya'll think you so cool cause your daddy is President?"  Will they make new friends in Washington? 
Will they invite friends to come jump on Lincoln's bed? 

Hey when I was their age?  I would have ditched that secret service and played hide and seek in all the rooms with my sister.  Well, maybe not my sister since she was a goody, goody, and would have told on me. After we played though.

I wonder if the girls get to redecorate their White House bedrooms?  They do get a puppy, which is great.  We need a first dog.

I hope they pick a Golden Retriever, my personal favorite.

So we made history.  I was glad to be a part of it.

Next, A Jewish Woman president?  Well thanks, although I'm flattered, I am much to busy changing one juvenile delinquent  at a time.

In my fake election thing ( a couple posts down) Obama has won by a big margin.   What does that mean?  A big nothing if you ask me. Because your vote does not count here.  In fact you may be from one of those states where your vote doesn't count at all.  Not that I really understand the whole electoral thing, but it seems like, why bother?  I actually did bother, in Il. non the less, and yes I voted Obama.   Which is really non of your business, but I told you anyway.  I am not going to list my reasons why, or try and convince you to vote for Obama.  That would just be a waste of time, as I think most people have pretty much made up their minds at this point.  I will tell you that although I probably would have voted Obama anyway, I am really disgusted with Sarah Palin.  Which won't make me popular with Sarah crushers, but I really could care less.  I have NEVER disliked a canidate so much.  I have no idea why, it's just an instinctual thing.
Which is why I am so nervous.  Some say it's a done deal, that McCain can't win, but I say never say never.  So I wish it was over with.  Normally, I vote and then let it go.  I wasn't a Bush fan either time, but I wasn't crying about it either.  I really WANT Obama to win.  And I can't stand the stress of waiting.  It's like when my kids used to audition for stuff, the waiting was unbearable.  And I think if my guy does not win I might be just as disappointed as if my kid did not get the part.  I might even cry.
I want to go back to not caring.  I want someone to tell me that they know for sure it is impossible for McCain to win and give me good facts to back it up.  Can anyone do that?  One more week, I can do this.  It needs to be what it is so I can move on.  And it better be clear this time, because I don't want to go through that crap of maybe, maybe not.  Just tell us who our president is and be done. 
Please, no Sarah. 
Please Electoral vote people, make the right choice this time. 

I think it's really sad when good looking people have an ugly kid.  I mean it's one thing to be unattractive, but when your parents are much cuter than you it's really sad.  Worse is when you are in the public eye.  Lets take poor Rumer Willis for example, Demi and Bruce's kid.  Wow, she sure got the short end of the gene pool there. 
And this is with the benefit of tons of money and make up.

Here's another one, Christie Brinkley and Billy Joel's kid.  Looks like someone got an over load of dad's genes.  That's what happens when a beautiful woman takes a chance with a not so beautiful guy.

Some of you will not agree, but I'm sorry, those Olsen twins?  They look like holocaust victims, all dressed up.  Have a burger and fries, Ashley and Mary Kate.  I saw them on Oprah and one of them was talking about eating a bagel with cream cheese and Oprah was all like "  Oh I miss that, I'm on a protein diet" 
 
Then one of the twins was like "  Oh, your so disciplined Oprah"  Like you can relate, twig with hair.  And Oprah, yeah, quit kissing other celebrities skinny asses all the time.  You know you wanted to shove a Twinkie down their throats.  Poor Oprah, have you ever seen her without makeup? 

 What a difference some lipstick makes!!!!
Other female celebs I find unattractive are, Drew Barrymore, Melanie Griffith and Tori Spelling.

Yes, I said Drew.  She was adorable in E.T. but really, if you saw her on the street, with no make up, and she was not a star?  No one would give her a second glance.

Some times it pays to have a rich daddy.

Melanie is one of those stars who irritates me.  I can't stand her, and I can't watch her on screen. 

I find Celine Dion to be very unattractive too

Now you might be saying, " wow Laura, I know what you look like and your nothing to write home about."  But I'm no star and I have no money or make up artist, so I think that would be an unfair comparison. 

I want my stars to be attractive.  And before you scream sexist and where's Lyle Lovett?  I am only doing women in this entry.  Otherwise we could be here forever.

On a final note, I would like Calista to eat some food too.  I feel like sending her a gallon of Ben and Jerrys

I just don't understand the tooth pick with a head look.

No, I'm not jealous.  In fact, this is making me feel much better about myself.  I hope it makes you all feel good too. 

Thanks for reading.  And feel free to diss more stars right here, at Momofjenmatt.

Lets be high school bitchy together.

I am surprised but very pleased with the response I got on the " abortion"  post.  Most people, even if they disagreed with me on my pro choice stance, were respectful and intelligent.  Thanks for all the " thoughtful" comments.  I think I replied to all, even if you were rude. 

But enough of the heavy stuff.  I need to go back to my regular blogging style.  I hope all the new subs are not disappointed with my non controversial and my usually sarcastic entries. 

So although I am sure I will not generate anything close to the response I got in my earlier entry, I need to talk about something that happened in the last couple days, even though I already wrote something similar a few weeks ago.

The other night I lost my Internet.  I learned this at 2:00am. during an insomnia episode.  I won't out my service provider, lets call them Camcoust.

Ring Ring:  Automated person answers:  Thank you for calling Camcoust, for Internet press 1, for phone service press 2, for digital TV. press 3. 

I press 1

Auto Person: If you want to speak to someone who does not have an Indian accent press 5

I press 5

Auto person:  Honey it's 2:00 am. your getting someone in India.

Okay, part of that didn't happen, but you know what I mean.  Anyway after much button pushing, and a very long wait with crappy music, that repeated itself, over and over and over, I get a person

Samir:  This is Samir from India, I mean Indiana, how can I be of assistance to you on this day?

Me:  I have no Internet

Samir:  I can help you, please you will press many buttons on your modem and unplug many things.

Me:  Okay

Samir:  You are getting no signal, please stay on hold for another two hours and enjoy our music that repeats and if we are to be disconnected you will not be called back.

me:  okay

Two hours later

Samir:  You have problem in your area, it will be fixed soon.  goodbye

The next day, still no Internet

I call

After after pressing many buttons and being on hold for an even longer time, with the same crappy music, that repeats every two min.  I get whom I assume is American ( no accent)

Jack:  ( sounding tired and bored)  Camcoust, what's the problem

Me:  I have no Internet, I was wondering, when the problem in the area will be fixed?

Jack checks

Jack:  Mam, you have no signal

Me:  Right, can you tell me when that will be fixed?

Jack:  There is no problem in the area am.

Me:  What?????  So Samir lied? 

Jack:  I don't know who Samir is mam, but we are getting no signal.  Would you like to make a service appointment?

After checking to make sure I still had cable, I make an appointment for Tue. Oct. 22nd

Next DAY:  I call my mom at 7:00 am and make her read my Xanga comments.  I go to work and sneak off to the library, make them take off all controls and check my xanga comments.

I AM NOT ADDICTED!

Expunge ( ex husband who I live with, keep up)  Hey, did you do something to the cable? It's not working.

I freak out and run to the nearest TV.  Nothing.  I run to the TV. in my room, it works, phew.

I call again

Auto Person:  Please press 1 if you would like to cancel your appointment for ( long pause) Tue. Oct. 28th

WHAT?  NO, NO, NO.  My appointment was for the 22nd!!!!!!  Not a week from now!!!!!!

AFTER A REALLY LONG WAIT I GET A PERSON.

Tampon:  Camcoust, hows can I helps you?

Me:  Okay first, I made an apt. for tomorrow and your auto person is telling me it's next week.  Unacceptable.  Second, ONE of my TV.'s is not working but the other one is.  It was just the Internet before.

Tampon:  I sees yous have a service appointment on the 28th of OCT. would you likes to cancel that?

Me:  What I would like is my original apt. tomorrow, I can't go without Internet for a week.  I NEED IT!  Umm, for my blog job.  And besides I pay you guys a lot of money each month and I was told I would have someone coming out tomorrow and that's when I want them!

Tampon:  mam, the earliest we can have someone come out is Tue. the 28th.  we ain't got nothing for you tomorrow.

Me: scream

Tampon:  Let me connect yous with a supervisor.

No lie, I am on hold for 45 min.  then ...

SOUND OF DIAL TONE!!!!!  AHHHHHH!!!!!!

I call back.  I am seething now, my heart is palpitating.  I am near tears.  I get Mike

Mike has me do a million things, unplug stuff, replug stuff, type in codes, etc...  I tell him what is blinking on the little box.  I tell him one TV. works fine, I ask him how that could be?

 I beg him.  I say "  I can't wait a week Mike"  I don't like blogging working from the library.  They close at 9:00 pm.!!!!

Mike tells me he can have someone come out the next morning.  I take off work.

I never get my phone call 1/2 hour before he shows up.  I have been looking out the window all morning though and see his truck.  I run to great him. 

He presses the standby button on my black box.  I am connected to the INTERNET.

He switches a light switch to on.  My TV. cable works. 

I feel dumb.  I blame Samir and the idiot who hooked us up and didn't explain about the light switch.  I simultaneously hug Mike while threatening him to kill him if he charges me. 

He seems scared.  He does not charge me, he leaves.

I do office work to make up for my lost three hours.

I hate Camcoust. 

I love Xanga!

I have avoided this subject in my few years of blogging for many reasons.  I don't know what you would call my blogging style, but it's definitely not serious and I don't usually take a firm stand on things. 
The pro life vs. pro choice issue is one of the most controversial and emotional topics there is.  The smart thing, if you want to keep friends, is to not even go there.

So why am I?  Well, I was cruising around xanga land the other day and Dan had this post.  His question was something along the lines of "  Is it selfish to have a late term abortion if your life is in danger"  In other words putting your life before your baby's.  I found myself getting angry at some of the responses and even the question, so I decided to write my own blog about the subject.

Before I do though, I want to be very careful with what I say and I hope if you read and comment YOU will read the whole thing and you will choose your words carefully too.

Not surprising to anyone, I'm sure, I am pro choice.  I have really thought about this issue and it's not something that is just black and white with me.  It's a complicated, emotional, topic, as I said.

I have two children.  I LOVED being pregnant with them.  I have always wanted to be a mother.  I honestly feel bad for men and women who can't get pregnant, that they can't experience what I felt was a true miracle.  It was amazing to know, and eventually feel, a life  growing inside me.

Many people are going to think " why pro choice then?"  And I can understand why.  The short answer is, bottom line, it's a personal CHOICE.  I am not pro abortion, I am pro choice! 

But I'm not here to convince you or sway you.  I completely understand the other side.  I know pro life people feel abortion is murder.    If you feel something is murder, of COURSE your going to fight it.  When I think something is morally wrong, I take a stand, ( not always on xanga) and I see nothing wrong with pro lifers being upset with some womens choices.  I understand why they would want Roe VS. Wade overturned.  If I put myself in the thought process of a pro - lifer I get it.  I don't agree, but I REALLY understand.

What I don't like or understand is how SOME ( notice I said SOME) pro life people make blanket statements such as "  you are not a good mother and are selfish if you put your life before your baby's life"  in cases where someone might have to make that awful choice.  I can't imagine a more horrible position to be in.  I am sure most mothers who have to make a choice like that do not take it lightly. 

Maybe they have other children at home, and they don't want them to lose their mother, maybe they are young themselves, twelve or thirteen, maybe the baby would end up with a good chance of dying anyway after birth and then two lives are lost.  There are MANY scenarios.  And I am sure it's NEVER easy!

A friend of mine had cancer.  She has two children.  She was told, she can't get pregnant due to the radiation/ Chemotherapy, and if she did, and tried to bring it to term, the baby would most likely die as would she.  She agreed to be put into early menopause.  However, she stated that if she were to become pregnant she would have an abortion. 

One of our "friends" was horrified.  And she told her so.  Basically, she said " so you would kill your baby?"  Even though this was a hypothetical situation, my friend was in tears.  She was frustrated and hurt that someone would say that to her.  The lack of compassion and understanding for what my friend had been through, how she would not want to leave her children who were born and living lives already, motherless, and the black and white lens in which the other friend  was looking at the issue was offensive.

I do know people who have had abortions in their younger years.  Some regret it and feel bad, some are glad that was an option for them. 

I also know victims of rape and incest.   Another horrifying scenario.  Being impregnated by someone who violated you physically and emotionally?  Terrifying.  Now I am not saying a pro life person should make an exception in any of the examples I have put forth.  Murder is murder, in their opinion.  I understand how they think.  However, when you act like people are just running around having thoughtless abortions, even in the above cases, it's insensitive and cruel.

 Lets say some sick father raped his daughter and she became pregnant? I actually know a woman that happened to.  She did terminate the pregnancy.  She was 14. She had been molested by her father for years.  She said if she had been forced to carry to term and give birth, she would have been damaged far worse than she already was.  The whole situation, including the abortion, caused her unbearable pain.  Nothing about it was selfish or easy.

All I am asking is that if your opinion differs, please use your words carefully, don't judge.  If you want to share your views and information in a kind and thoughtful way, then I'll respect you.  If you want to yell names like murderer, and selfish, and butcher, then I don't respect you at all.

Be sensitive when you are talking about such an emotional topic.  I think the majority of women who have had and will have abortions, did so with thought, counsel, and even prayer.  They are not horrible people, they are not selfish.  I think that the majority of women who have had or will have abortions do not think they are committing murder, yet they probably have a heavy heart in making the choice to terminate their pregnancy.  I can't imagine it being easy or anyone being cavalier about it.

So before you judge others and their heart and motivations, look at yourself and how you are coming off as a human being.

I for one am glad that people stillhave this option to choose, what is best for them, their families,their lives.  But I will not be upset if you don't agree.  Just do so respectfully please

Some people have all the luck.  Sure, Joe the plumber is now humiliated in front of the world, for not being a licensed plumber, owing back taxes, and pretty much NOT the average Joe after all.  However, Joe is now famous and I can pretty much see Joe with his own reality TV. show.  Title, Joe the Plumber of course.  Or a book deal, Joe the Plumber my five min. of fame, How McCain ruined my life.  Either way, I am sure there is a way for Joe the Plumber to profit off his moment in the sun. 
I wish I could have met McCain and had Obama call me Laura the gangbanga fixer.  As most
some of you know, I work a Teachers aide/Chemical Dependency Tech at "Safeway" a residential treatment center for teen boys.  Hence the name Laura the gangbanga fixer.  I of course would not be an embarrassment to the Obama campaign, as people would see I really am a gangbanga fixer, AND I really am poor ( therefore reaping the benefits of Obama's plan.)  In fact, I am so far away from making $250,000,000, under Obama's plan I will probably NEVER have to worry about my taxes being raised.

Now of course, when my book deal, and reality show take off it might be a different story.  And then I would be REALLY famous for turning on Obama, and crying " no fair "  I think the pay off would be worth it though.  Although, the grass is always greener as they say.

I can picture it now, carrying my little dog in my designer bag, cover stories of me and expunge in the National Enquirer, People Magazine headline: "Traitor or Genius, The Rise of an Unlikely Superstar." 

How cool would THAT be?

So sorry Joe the Plumber, no pity here.  Your probably going to get that tax increase, but it's going to be really hard to feel sorry for you when my heating bill comes in this year, and your talking to the ladies from The View about how you can now afford that business, but don't need to buy it.  After all, who wants to fix toilets when you can be famous for being Joe the Fake Plumber. 

Some people have all the luck.

PS. I edited this post if you commented earlier or wrote me a message, please re comment.  I screwed up my comments. 

The Featured grown up site has given us a writing challenge and I have taken the bait, What Would I Do if I were president of The U.S.  Click on the link for more fabulous entries.  But first here's mine.

Well, I can tell you what I wouldn't do.  I wouldn't be talking about stressful things like the Economic crisis and Fannie Mae.  All that does is stress people out and make them eat more chocolate.   It just  makes me long for a milk chocolate piece with the caramel in the middle.  Of course I have no desire for the bad kind, with the clear stuff that pours out.  Why do they make those kind anyway?  We all poke the middle and throw out the icky ones.  But that's besides the point.  The point is that's what I think of when I hear Fannie/Fanny May/Mae.  So they need to stop saying it.

Not that I am denying we have a problem, but I have a cure.  Charge more for White House Tours, but make them more fun.  For example, $5.00 for five min. of jumping on Lincolns bed.  Or  $1.00 a min. to have alone time with your honey in the Oval Office.  I am calling that one the Bill and Monica experience. 

It's genius really.  Have you all ever been on one of those tours?  BORING.  If I remember right it was " This is the red room"  bla bla bla.  So disappointing.

Also, lets bring the fun back in money.  I would order the mint to use florescent colors to print the $$$. 

I bet some of our lazy, pot, smokers would be more motivated to work to get some of that!!!!

No jobs you say?  Well I for one, as President, would create jobs.  All people making over $250,000.00 a year will be forced to hire maids and butlers from a national list.  If you don't work due to laziness, or you are deemed one of those kids who comes back after college and never gets a job or leaves, you will be asked to leave the country or risk jail.  We don't need any slackers in America.

Health Care?  If you smoke, eat bad ( former smoker, bad eater here) and don't exercise ( raises hand), you must pay for health care.  I know, I threw myself under the bus with that one, but it's only fair. Come on fellow fatties, it was your choice to bing on those Whoppers, why should we have to pay for it?   All healthy people get free health care, but not dental, just because dental would be taking it a bit far.  As for kids, anyone caught taking their fat kid to McDonald's more than once a month as a treat will be fined and faces house arrest. 

Speaking of fat kids, I would offer tax cuts to people who actually made their kids go out and play.  No breaks for parents who let their kids sit on their tushies all day in front of the computer.

As for the war, I don't like it, but I have no military expertise.   I know I don't want to get bombed or be annihilated, so I guess I would have my VP. figure that out.  Not sure who that would be, but whatever.

I am sure you can all appreciate I would make a great President.  Feel free to write me in.  I promise to blog daily about all the goings on in the White House.  And we know THAT would be pretty interesting.

Should I bring Expunge ( ex husband)?  Just a thought.  Let me know.