March 22, 2007

• ooops

  Well how the hell did I know there were two different Howard Sterns?  I just thought the one got his hair cut and got cuter.  I think it's funny myself.  See how often I keep up with this media crap?  Anna Nicole did die right?  I don't want to give more misinformation.  Whatever, I have decided I don't like either Howard Stern.

  Okay, yesterdays blog for today

  Things Nobody tells you, but I will.  I may not know who the Howards are but I know this...

  Not everyone has had my wealth of experience, so I thought I'd share some truths.

  If you have never given birth, let me clue you in, it hurts really bad.  Anyone who say's differently had a some major drugs and epidurals going on.  Just thought I'd share.

  Once you have a baby, throw all the expert books in the trash.  Back in the day, twenty years ago when Jennie was a little new born, the expert books said don't let your baby cry. Ever. unless you want your child to be insecure.  There was no way I was having an insecure child.  My kid was going to confident and perfect.  So I had a no crying baby, an exhausted crying mom, and twenty years later a kid who is just as insecure as any baby that cried.  I'm surpised she can sing the way I stunted her lung exersise.

  They also say NEVER spank.  Even if your kid runs into traffic and almost gets hit by a car.  No, you are supposed to stand in the middle of the street and discuss the situation with your rational two year old.  trust me, a smack on a fully diapered bottom is the way to go if you don't want a dead kid.

  It's also okay for your kid to play tag and be it, get booed at a football game, not get a trophy for sitting on a bench, not make the team, not make the play, not make choir, not get their painting in the art show, make mistakes and be told they made one.  It is not okay for your three year old or 13 year old to sware at you, call you stupid, and run the show.  YOU ARE THE BOSS!  You pay the bills. 

  You also need to realize your not your kids friend, your their parent.  And guess what?  As teens they won't like you, no matter how cool you think you are, your embarrassing.  Get over it, it's normal.  And don't tell them how you were when you were a teen and how you can relate.  They DON'T like you, okay?  They don't want to be linked with you and your teen days, they don't want to have things in common with you.  The experts say talk to your teens.  No, don't talk, spy. I have to get most of my information from Matts friends and through the gossip mill.  If he talks to me, it is so he can get money, it's a little bribe thing we have going.  It works great, a little info is worth five bucks.

  They are still not your best friend when they come home from college.  They want to sleep, have you feed them good food, shop and spend your money, and go out with their friends who are also using their parents.  You won't be having long philosophical discussions about the meaning of life, now that they are in the college world.  They will tell you things like " this semester was totally stressful and they need to chill"  They will want to rebond with their friends from high school and then complain it's not the same.  Any chores like dishes, forget it, they are wiped from school, they need to be pampered now.

  They are still self centered at 20 and it's still all about them.

  Your kid at one time or another is going to be hurt by friends, whether they are being bullied daily or just kicked out of the popular group for no reason.  They will be broken up with and break up with people.  You will get attached to these boys or girls, and you will either be mad at your kid for doing the breaking up, or the other kid for hurting your kid.  If they hurt your kid, it's much harder to get over.  It is important to not stalk the boy or girl and let them know your feelings.  You need to hold it in.  Your the adult, look at the big picture this to shall pass.  Sorry 7th grade boy I traumatized for life, I hope your dating now.  I see now you were not right for my daughter at all.

  That goes for friends too, I really NEVER thought in a million years I would ever forgive the boys that made matt's eight grade hell on earth.  But he has been friends with them for the last three years of high school ( good friends) and people change and grow up. Some day I might talk to them, to understand better, but for now it was good I only butted in when it went really too far.  You as the adult can see the bigger picture, they can't. 

  So that's my wisdom for today.  Go with your instincts as a parent, if your not some crazed loon, they are probably right on.  Don't worry about every little scar your going to inflict on their little egos.  And don't let every little book scare you.  Don't raise your kid in fear, raise them to know who they are, raise them with integrety, highlight their talents and strengths , but let them know, hey you still changed their diapers, even if they think their all that. And let them know there are plenty of things they are not gifted in. Being part of a good team, or group is important.  Coming off as someone people like and want to work with is important.  Being humble is important.  That doesn't mean a parent shouldn't be proud, because you should.  I beam all over the place for my kids, but it makes my heart swell just as much is when someone says, boy your kids are  nice, we just adore when they come over.

  Last but not least, Farting in public and spitting is gross and rude.

  • 10:23 pm
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