June 21, 2007

  • No Child Left Inside

    Okay folks get the medications out, we have a new disorder for our youth it's called Nature Deficit Disorder.  Seriously, I couldn't make this crap up. 

    Is this just another disorder, invented for the purpose of selling books?  Is it another way to make parents paranoid?  Is it another label we can attach to kids to make excuses for their behavior? 

    Or could it be true?  Millions of kids, stuck inside, never seeing a tree, or a butterfly?  Kids destined to learn to ride a bike at 50 years old? 

    Will the future be filled with obese adults, having mudaphobia?  Will this be the future of our commercials :

    Do you panic when you see a tree?

    Does the sound of a bird make you throw up?

    Is all your furniture made of plastic?

    If so you might have, Nature Deficit Disorder.

    Ask your doctor about Sidewalkchalk. 

    Said real fast:  Don't use Sidewalkchalk if you are between the ages of 20 and 25.  Sidewalkchalk causes diarrhea and constipation in 99% of people who use Sidewalkchalk on Mondays and Thursdays.  Tell your doctor if you are suddenly playing hopscotch in your office and have taken to urinating outside. You may have to discontinue use.  Sidewalkchalk doesn't really work, we are just capitalizing on a new disorder.  So call your Dr. today.  If your Dr. prescribes sidewalkchalk, we will give him or her an all expense paid trip to Hawaii.


    Please people!  Don't let this happen to us.  Take your kids outside.  Let them build a fort.  Teach them how to swing on a rope over a creek, causing them to fall in, thereby ruining the new poncho you brought back from Mexico.  True story.


    The future of our youth is in your hands.  We can stop this disorder if we work together. 

    TAKE YOUR KIDS OUTSIDE.  They'll thank you later.

    This public service announcement was sponsored by Momofjenmatt and Friends who yearn for the sixties, when kids could run wild.

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