September 2, 2007

  • Topsy Turvy

    Everything is upside down and sideways.  Last night expunge made me dinner.  King crab legs, corn on the cob and salad.  What?  Then he did the dishes.  He never did that when we were married.  I mean he did the dishes at times and made dinner, but not a nice one like that and not just for me.

    Some of you probably think he wants to get some, but that's not it.  Maybe he wants to butter me up because he is going to live with lawn mower man.   But that would be a good thing, so who knows.

    I have decided Jennie is being brainwashed.  It is not a study abroad program, it's a Zulu cult.  Why else would they use words like immersed, and why won't they let her contact home?  I am looking into ways of kidnapping her and deprogramming her.  Then I am going to make a Life Time Original Movie.  I watched a whole marathon of Life Time Movies yesterday and this would fit right in.  I even wrote a song.

    To the Tune of Cherokee Reservation

    They took my kid to a Zulu Nation
    They did this with no reservation
    They took away her way of life
    My heart was stabbed with a knife

    Zulu People
    Zulu Tribe
    So proud to click
    I could just die

    I drunk Ambian dialed Matt last night.  I only remember parts.  He was having a party for his roommates Birthday.  It was like 2:00 am.  I asked him who won the Indiana Game, but I can't remember what he said.  But he did answer the phone, poor kid, he must have thought it was an emergency.  Whatever, he should be used to me by now.  That Ambian is kind of dangerous, but it's the only way I can sleep.

    I learned he was weirded out at Friday night Shabbat services, but really enjoyed the home made brisket and pasta salad.  Plus it was free, no meal points.

    I wonder what the Zulu's are feeding Jennie?  Probably nothing, because she is being brainwashed.  Oh well, she wanted to lose weight there.

    Well I have to go now, Expunge is making me steak for tonight's dinner.  Lawn mower man is one lucky guy.

Comments (22)

  • Geezus, what? See how much I've missed by being gone? I am going to have to go back and read some posts to find out about lawnmower man...and I hope Jennie is not being forced to eat grubs or something!! OMG!

  • He can come make me dinner.  I'll even let him wash my dishes too.

  • Hahah.

    I hope expunge isn't buttering you up so you won't be so mad when he tells you lawnmower man is taking your place & you're going to have to go live with the kid that called you gay.
    But if he's just trying to be a nice guy maybe you could get him to do your nails while he's at it?

    You crack me up. [:

  • hey -- share the drugs! sounds like you're doing just fine ...

  • Who cares why he made such a nice dinner. It sure sounds delicious.  Enjoy your steak!

  • You are HILARIOUS! By the way, I have sent more than one late night Lunesta-induced email. Harmless, rambling, jabberwocky-spelling, but far too self-revealing! They might need to add to list of possible side-effects... you think?

  • That is news when expunge cooks and washes. Hopefully you won't have to worry about Jenny being brainwashed, however if they do deprive her of sleep then the brainwashing can begin...

  • Don't kid yourself.  It is for he sex.

  • Hang in there, Momma... things will right themselves again. And I agree with Dan... expect some "moves".

  • LOL @ Dan.

    RYC: Thanks.
    Hehe, I hope he doesn't mind sleeping outside for his man.

  • Seems like the last time he made dinner...he made brussel sprouts with roast or something odd like that!

    Of course Jenny is eating.  You shouldn't worry.  They wouldn't put her in the cauldron if she were skinny!

  • You sure he's not trying to "get some"?  LOL

  • Can I direct your Life Time movie? I promise, no weird tattoo's or such in the process.

    Hugs'n'Smooches!

  • Maybe expunge ahs a heart and knows how down you are about the kids going away? I couldn't help but laugh at the poem about Zulu people. My bro rang home maybe 6 times in 12 weeks and rarely emailed. Like you, we panicked at first. She will be fine *hugs*

  • it's for the sex.  men! 

    love your song : )   you silly thang!!

  • LOL at your song.  Next time I hear that song, I'll remember you.  ;)

    Ambien is a godsend.  Believe me, I work for a sleep specialist. 

    The dinner sounds wonderful!!!

  • You are too funny!! You're welcome about the lawn, did I trim the edges ok? King Crab legs--oo-ee, what is on his mind?!! Happy Labor Day!

  • Well, yay for Expunge making a yummy dinner! Maybe he is testing out his culinary skills for lawnmower man!  (LOL, jk).

    OMG, I thought my surgical scars were going to bust open when I read that song!  I remembered the post you did a long time ago with the picture of a tribe and said, "This is Jennie's new mother, Mutubu", or something like that! 

    What was the girl like who invited Matt to the shabbat dinner?  Hmmmm?

    Kathi

  • I'm sure your kids are, and will be, fine.  I would be more worried about lawnmower guy!

  • Hilarious!  Came to you through someone else's site, but I can't remember who now since I've been reading all your posts and laughing too hard.  I'm sure all is well in S.Africa...Happy Labor Day!

  • For that kind of dinner and he did the dishes, damn.

    You have an awesome day trying to stay out of trouble.

    If you have to be in trouble come over and see a new baby.

    HUGS for missing children. 

  • I love your word expunge Mind if i use it??? hugs hope you are keeping busy... just hope they dont give jenna any purple koolaid... lol

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