September 4, 2007
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Calling all Men
Edit at bottom
I was talking to a teacher at work today and she told me her son just had his bachelor party. As with many bachelor parties, strippers were hired. She was not at the party, but her husband was and he told her all about it. Apparently, two very good looking women were hired and they proceed to strip, all the way. They also brought a bag of "toys" and proceeded to use them on each other. At the end the future bridegroom "won" and was allowed to use a toy on one of the strippers. It was called a drill or something.
Me: so your husband and your dad watched your son " drill" some strange stripper.
Her: yes, isn't that gross?
Me: yeah, ewww.
Her: They were going to buy my dad a lap dance, but thought he might have a heart attack
Me: guys are so gross.
Okay, now clearly not every bachelor party is that extreme, however most of the ones I have heard about involve some sort of porn or strippers. Fortunately, the strippers never showed up to expunge's bachelor party and so they were reduced to playing poker and getting drunk. But I remember my dad telling me it was the tamest bachelor party he had ever been to.
I don't get it. This party involved the groom's dad, grandfather and eighteen year old brother. Also in attendance were the brides dad and brother. And yet, no one was embarrassed. I'm sorry but watching porn with my future mother inlaw? OMG!
I admit my bachelorette party was at a male strip club. But here's the difference, my mother in law to be was not invited nor was my mother or my future sisters inlaws. It was just my girlfriends and myself. Second, there was no arousal and it wasn't even sexual. It was actually very comical. You really have not seen anything until you have seen a penis flop around like a half dead fish.
Some might find this hypocritical of me, and I admit I have never been to a female strip club, but I really think there is a difference.
I have even heard of bachelor parties where the guys actually put porn on the TV. I'm not a prude, but I don't understand this ritual. How can a guy ever look his father in law in the eye again? And how can a father sit there and whoop it up, when the guy who is marrying his little girl has his face in some strange woman's breasts?
Guys please explain this to me and ladies ask your men. The whole thing has an incestuous feel to it and I don't get it.
Looking forward to your feedback
I need more men! Off to work I better have lots of guy comments when I get back
Comments (41)
you're talking about men ... more than one man has told me that men think about sex like every 3 seconds ...
I did not have strippers and I have never been to a strip club. I think it would be ackward to do that in front of the inlaws but I don't believe it is different. I think any rule that applies to a man should apply to a woman.
And correction to the comment above me. It is every 2 1/2 seconds.
I dont get it either, and it really grosses me out!!! I know men are wired more for that sort of thing. But that does not make it ok. Or normal. Sorry! The point you made about the father in law is especially true! EEK!
Just to prove the point, there was only one minute between my two comments which was probably about 30 seconds. I thought about strippers the whole time.
I am sure they justify it as his last time to whoop it up. I just couldn't even imagine!! *blushing*
men & women will never figure each other out ... hardly seems worth trying...
"some kind of drill?" I think it might be a dildo but I have never been to a party like this.. . Seems like a ritual that has started the past few years......
they have to prove things to one another
I feel ya 100%!!!!!!!!! During a bachelorette, its mainly innocent fun and games, the word comical describes it very well. Bacheolor parties, however, are exact opposite. Its not a bunch of laughter, its more like, egging on and high 5's for those who got to "touch" or feel a bit more.
I dont see how men can watch porn together...like, friends getting together and poppin in a porn vid.
I think men CHEAT at bachelor parties. They grab boobs, suck on em, grab asses, possibly even screwing. Women, usually just look and probably embarrassed if they are told to "grab it".
I wont let my man have that kind of bachelor party. Maybe a day playing golf or fishing.
I didn't have a bachelorette party and my husband didn't have a bachelor party. We actually hung out with my brother and sister and some other friends that were in town and just talked and laughed together all night. If he would have gone to a strip club, or had strippers to his house, there would have not been a wedding the next morning. If a man acts like that before he gets married, what do you expect afterwards? Blech.
LOL... Honey... there is an easy answer to this question! DUH!
Most men are sexual PIGS! LOL
Love ya.. Wendy
Haha Dan's funny.
I see what you're saying, and men say we're confusing and hard to understand. We're uncomfortable with porn but comfortable with nudity, while men are uncomfortable with nudity but are fine with family porn. Yeah, I would totally get grossed out watching porn with relatives. Oh wait, I don't watch porn. So I guess I'm safe. But then again, I don't have a half-dead fish flopping around either. Which is good.
im sooooo anxious to read what Men has to say. I really wanna see their perspective.
Why oh why are they not commenting. lol. I want to know.
I'm discusted. Has this guy been watching a little too much Jerry Springer?
Having relatives and in-laws there makes it extra squicky.
There are some men who don't need the excuse of a bachelor party to see and experience such things. However due to in-laws not being familiars I can understand that they are not included in such activities.
I never met my father-in-law (he passed away before I married his daughter) so it looks like I am spared that question.
I would answer more but I think I have something to do right now....
Ewwww is right. The weirdo rituals that go on here.....sheesh???! I am glad me & my husband saw eye to eye on this topic. No party for either of us. Our reward was our own honeymoon. Not trying to "get some" from someone else right before we said our vows.
But you brought up an excellent point (as usual). That is just way creepy with the father & father-in-law right there watching! *gag* If the father-in-law is that much of a creep, why doesn't the newlywed couple invite them to watch while they consummate the marriage??? Just as gross as the bachelor party, huh?
Me and my mates have done that a few times, hired a stripper for a guy who is about to tie the knot with the girl of his life. We do it because it's kind of a celebration of 'get it out of the way' so that when he does marry, his mates know that he won't be able to do that anymore. It's kind of like mourning, instead of feeling bad about your mate growing up, you have a laugh, and talk about sex, because after that, the sex your mate is getting from his wife is private, and you're not privy to that information.
Why so sexual, and why didn't the in-laws freak about it? Because they know about the guy 'code of honor' and they won't bitch about it because if they do, they're not considered 'one of the lads'. Very macho thinking.
Does that make any sense?
'nuff said...
Um, yeah, my husband and I won't even watch porn together. Blech.
I went to a male strip show once with some girlfriends. It was pretty funny. The guys thought they were hot, but they were skinny and hairless. We referred to one particular guy as "cheeseburger" because he needed to eat one. Nothing like a skinny, limp ugly guy dancing around to get you all riled up. LOL!
Ok here goes,
I don't get it either, I had a pretty calm one when I got married the first time, no strippers, had pornos but I'm not a huge fan and watching them with all guys seemed kinda wierd. I have been to pretty wild ones but mostly a lot of drinking and just acting crazy to embarrass the groom. As far as the drill, no thanks. It is the whole male bravado thing.
But I can trull tell you that are many more brides that don't want that want their bachelorette party secret to get out, we talk a good game, ya'll know that but I know alot of women that had a raunchy wild sex filled night and then spun a boring story. So it goes both ways.
Well, since I'm a Christian, I have to use what Jesus says: "Whoever looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultry with her in his heart" Matthew 5:28. So, lusting is cheating, according to that standard. And I wouldn't marry someone, or want to be married to someone, who had cheated on me or who was going to make a habit out of cheating on me. I'm not saying that all bachelor or bachelorette parties are bad, because they're not. I just think that if you're going to commit to someone, you shouldn't get a free night to do whatever you want in complete disregard for the other person's feelings. Supposedly you love this person you are marrying more than you love yourself, and if you are truly putting them first then I don't think you would go to see a stripper etc.
That's just disgusting....I'm sorry....I'm not a prude, but that kind of stuff is supposed to be private. I have never been to a bachelorette party like that, and my late husband's bachelor party was nothing like that. Is this really what they're doing these days???
watching a stripper is bad enough, but the toy thing is just disgusting!!?? If I were the bride I would be upset about the "interaction" yuck!
If they had strippers "back then" it was news to me. The crowd I hung with didn't have the money for it.
Men, Most women cant live without them but gosh, talking about going way out at this party.
Wow, nice. I don't think I would have allowed my husband to have a party like that and if it had been an issue at all I wouldn't have married him.
He has told me before he really doesn't like going to strip clubs b/c it does feel like cheating to him.
I don't know if the font has changed or not, but apparently my mood has!
LOL @ vexations. I agree that the stripper part is OK. The guys usually just laugh it up and they ALL know that NO ONE is going home with the girl (or anything else). The "Drill" is a little toooo much tho.
I can just see the guy.....hands drill to father-in-law...."here Pop's, you give it a try"!
Guys are visually oriented. It's not very far from a beer commercial to hiring a stripper for a bachelor party. The activities at that one were more than I've been exposed to in my experience, but not surprising.
Yes when you step back and look at it you get a different perspective. It's lewd. It turns women into objects.
It's just the paradox of men. They can be perfect gentlemen. They are also testosterone-filled, sex-seeking wild men.
not a dude, but I don't get the porn/stripper appeal either. And yes, how can you look at a family member or almost family member the same way? Ick!
EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!
Ew.... he "won" the toy and got to use it on her???? That is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard...but I guess its better than winning the toy and getting to use it on his bride.....LOLOLOLOL. I crack myself up.
I'm so glad you are getting into the groove of empty nest... I missed you. I hope Matty gets a blanket. I don't want him to be cold.
I'm headed over to Jennie's now to say hello or "Obadula" or whatever they say there.... I think you handling this all very wonderfully... you are quite a mom. I think its actually a little sweet that Expunged has been so "gentle" with you... maybe you were showing too much outward signs of snapping about the kids... he was just trying to keep his landlord happy and sane. LOL. But its nice anyway.
Ack, I have heard of this before. A guy I worked with had a similar experience at his bachelor party. 1/2 of the people we worked with KNEW the details, his wife (who also worked in the same company) did not. Omg, they about divorced when she found out a year later. I don't think he got sex for a year after....
My Ex had strippers at his gig. His dad was there as well. One of the strippers gave him a face job with her boobs, which had glitter all over them. My Ex was frantic to get the glitter off before he went home, less his parents also have issues.
Last but not least. MY bachelorette party was in Vegas, and was very fun, but with absolutely no strippers. We partied, saw Tina and Tony's Wedding, etc. I went to a friends bach party in Vegas a few years ago, and we went to Olympic Gardens (strippers) and it was Gross! The sweaty 1/2 naked men soliciting you for lap dances. Disgusting. I think you can still have a good time, minus the skin junkies........
Not to sound like a jerk... or stupid for the matter... but i just read that several times and I could swear that you stated "I admit my bachelorette party was at a male a strip club" and in the very next paragraph it says "now I admit that I have never been to a male strip club."
and may I say: huh????????
Strippers and some porn has become so commonplace at bachelor's and even some bachelorette parties nowdays. It doesn't surprise me, in the least. ryc: No theme for me, but I got blog fixed-thank you!
My bachelor party consisted of me, my best man, and 3 underage future brothers-in-law. We watched Patton, Raiders of the Lost Ark, and Tora Tora Tora. Yep, it was more tame than exspunge's probably. The only thing hot and spice was the pizza.
The most wild thing I ever saw was the strippers taking a dollar from the groom. The buck was folded under the bridge of his glasses and was removed with her boobs. Naturally, his glasses were all cockeyed and it looked funny as hell. Particularly because the bride to be didn't really have boobs and it would be his last encounter with them.
Now, regarding a penis flopping around like a half dead fish... uh.... they do change state on occasion so they don't flop so much.
I think I just lost respect for exsupnge since you were not aware of the state we call erect. 
well. I'm a guy and I honestly never really saw the whole bachelor party thing with strippers before a groom's big day all that appealing. the best bachelor party would be the mellowest one with just a bunch of friends getting together to clink together glasses of champagne, or more exquisitely, bottled beer =] to laugh and talk about things that are never to be talked of again. around the married man that is after the big day and after the vows are said committing him to a life-long relationship.
to be honest, I'm a male and I never really got the whole bachelor party with women and over-sized breasts pouring themselves all over the males at present. especially the groom.
I can see it as a night of wanting to embarrass the living shit out of the groom. but there are much much funner. better ways of doing so =]
I would have to presume it has to do with something as being the 'last night' of being a man that's not married. yet. but on the verge of some ceremonial thing where they just have to have strippers to enroll it and make it final.
that's only speaking for some guys though. possibly most. not all of them.
us males have odd ways of bonding. trust me, I'm aware of this.
however. I never really got them. some of them I do get. just most of them, remain mysteries to me.
I'm not sure if this has helped. but even if it hasn't, I just felt like being opinionated on the matter =]
seeing as to how I am a male and such.
and you were consulting males on the matter.
good luck pondering this and trying to figure out.
since it might just be one of those things where no matter how much you try to get it or no matter how many opinions/viewpoints of people you hear, it'll never make sense.
LMFAO> I read this post to my boyfriend and he didn't get how going to a male strip club wouldn't be sexual. A: It's their job, so obviously it's not sexual for them, and B: C'mon, it's guys flailing their dicks around. Soo not sexual. LOL
Can't see the appeal myself but we are talking about MEN here. I know damn well if I ask my best friend, who happens to be male about it, he would shrug and say ''What's the problem? It's what men do''
I just got to reading Jennie's posts and was compelled to leave her a comment. How exciting this all is for her and for you. I can understand your list of fears but I am very surprised (at the risk of sounding ignorant) at the combination of modern civilization and third world thinking going on in the country I'm feeling from her writings. Of course it makes perfect sense, but she writes about it so well that there is an irony in it all.
Okay...just posed your question to a group here at present...mixed ages. The "older males" shook their head but didn't respond. The younger guys 21-25ish all said they wouldn't touch a girl who would do such a thing (using much stronger words) and considered the fact that the guy would do it in the presence of his elders/family/family to be "completely f**d up." Which prompted my husbands input to our possible future son-in-law that he wouldn't have to worry because if he did, he wouldn't be getting married anyway. Most of the girls just seemed to focus on the girl getting drilled and responded with two words "Skanky Slut." So...there's another perspective.
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