September 29, 2007
-
Public Bathrooms
This is an old entry of mine, I am re-posting it for http://www.xanga.com/Kween_of_the_Queens
The assignment was a Dave Barry type of moment. Here's one of mine.. Just an average experience in the bathroom. Nothing big. I was going to post my Mexico story again, but that's way to long. So here it is. Potty fun!
I hate public restrooms! I went in a public restroom today and the doors
were broken in every frikin stall! I have short arms so this is really
a trick. So, I am trying to hold the door shut, while not sitting on
the seat, and then the automatic flusher goes off too early, freaking
me out and making me lose my hold on the door! Then I have to figure
out how I can temporarily make my self double joined for the dreaded
holding the door and wiping trick.
After I have successfully done all this I go to the automatic sink.
Normally I like these because after seeing a 20/20 about disgusting
potty germs, the handles gross me out. But today as I am holding my
hands under the spigot and nothing is happening I am pissed! I try
everything, palms up, palms down, I run them fast and then slow
underneath, nothing not a drop. I try voice activating it. "Turn on!" I
yell. Nothing. I tried all three sinks, finally I get one that works.
Next, I go to dry my hands. This is not automatic, this is a crank
paper towel holder. Now I have a dilemma. I have to touch the crank.
Now common sense would tell me that if someone is getting a paper towel
they washed their hands. But then it occurs to me, they may be getting
a paper towel for another reason, maybe they have a stain on their
shirt or something. I have a short sleeve shirt on so I can't use my
sleeve. So, I have no choice, I have to use my bare hands. I crank a
few times so that there is a long stream of paper towel. Now I have to
go back to the sink that works which is still running water. It's been
ten minutes, I don't know how long they think people need to wash their
hands but I think this is a little excessive and frankly wasteful. At
this rate Lake Michigan is going to be drained within hours! As if the
sink has read my mind, it turns off. Unfortunately, my hands are
saturated with soap. So I hold my hands under the spigot and now the
sink, that was spewing out water for ten minutes, two seconds ago, has decided to take a
rest. Nothing. Now I am trying to convince myself the 20/20 episode was
highly exaggerating the prominence of disgusting fecal bacteria in
public bathrooms. So I go dry the soap off with my paper towels making
sure to save a little for the door handle. I am longing for the days
when I was blissfully ignorant of public bathroom germs. The days when
I probably ingested billions of bacteria and was completely unaware.
So, today I have made a decision, all my peeing will have to be done at
home. This will put a crimp in my social life, but there is no other
way. Damn 20/20! Too much information can be a bad thing.
Comments (35)
Those specials ruined it for me, too. I hold my breath once the flush starts until I leave the stall, I don't even want to breathe the germs. I try not to touch anything in public, I worry those disgusting potty germs are everywhere.
OH that so funny MiLady! Great giggle post and perfect for the challenge! You've been starred and linked!~Kween
my four (nearly five) year old daughter is profoundly scared of those self flushing toilets. I have to squish behind her to cover up the sensor, or she will just pee in her pants rather than use the toilet. Here is what I do about paper towels, I got in the habit of prepping my towel before washing so that if there are knobs, I can use the towel to turn them, and in turn exit the bathroom whist not actually touching any handles! to funny...thanks
I remember this! I agree - too much information is sometimes a bad thing!!
ahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
LOL...I am public bathroom challenged. I cannot figure out how half of the sinks & towel things work...and I agree, it's quite the challenge to hold the door, not touch the floor or anything near the toilet, try & pull TP that won't budge & all you get is a handful of tiny pieces & in some cases just manuver in the stall...I swear they think we are all midgets or something....some stalls you couldn't even turn aound in if you wanted...but I'm still thankful we don't have to squat over trenches like some of the bathrooms in Europe......OMG.....I won't ever travel there just because of that!
A repost is welcome ... bout time you post something, I was ready to drive to your house and kick some ass
I dont like public restrooms, and will hold it if they dont have those seat protectors.
Don't you just hate lose leaky self-flushers? They go off as soon as you sit down (which is great for disguising unpleasant sounds) but then spray you in the hiney...hinney...hinny...spellcheck apparently doesn't like any of those spellings!
Yeah, I was victim of that 20/20, too. I've never been the same
since. I hate them for it. I almost pee'd my pants the other day
holding out for my own little home sanctuary.
I have public bathroom phobias too. I get totally grossed out by the toilet handles...so I use my foot to flush.
I remember this post. I hate public restrooms too.
Moral of the story: You should be watching Family Guy instead of 20/20. :0 No Worries.
Funny girl.
And I'm wondering, which one did you think had the best chance of working; palms up or voice activation?
Peace
Scott
public bathrooms freak me out. Of course, seeing as I'm not in the States, my idea of public bathrooms differs from yours. The public bathrooms i've been to is filthy and smelly, i have to kick all the doors(no locks) open and see if the toilet is clean. Because toilets don't flush around here. Most of the time, only one cubicle is clean, and even so, it still stinks. And we have to pay fifty cents to go in in the first place.
Nowadays, I finish my business at home before i go out. and i don't drink outside unless totally necessary.
Girl, I think you need to stick to your home bathroom. And yes, ignorance is bliss.
You should read my last post. Haha! I hate public b'rooms, too, but these days, I sure am glad when I see one...! Seriously, though, I do have a solution to your problem. Wash your hands to remove any dirt or *ehhem* liquids that may be there, and then crank away at the toweler. Never fear the germs! Why not? Because you have, safely tucked away in your purse, a tiny bottle of Purell hand sanitizer (and they do make TINY, refillable bottles that even men can carry in thier pockets without bulging problems). The few germs you may have contracted on the tips of your fingers from the towel dispenser will be magically whisked from your mind. It's really a miracle. Don't overuse, because your immunity won't be at it's peak if you're utterly germ free, but in such cases, when there's nothign like a public bathroom to ease your frantic bladder, one squirt is all it takes.
Thanks for the comment. Just wanted to ask: you said you love my profile picture, but since I have changed it for the third time today, which one was it that you liked? I can't decide on a good one, and it is just such a crucial thing, ya know?
Wow. Peeing in a hole. Done that once, won't do it again. That must be an adventure!
Lol.
I hardly ever use a public restroom. So from the time I wake up (from 5:30a.m.) to the time I get home (anywhere from 4 to 10 p.m.) I may not use the bathroom.
Bad for my kidneys, I know. But sometimes I'm too busy to worry about it.
ROFL! That is sooooooooooooo me! I have a purse sized bottle of Clorox anywhere spray in my purse now, and carry at keast 3 mini bottles of purell at all times! I know, germaphobe...but I can't help it!
omg I freaking hate public restrooms and hate the situations where you absolutly cannot avoid them and have to use them, even more. After using them you just feel like taking 20 showers just so you can feel semi clean again. On the bright side bathroom poetry are the best. I love it how people write stuff like, "Jesus Loves You" and someone else will write "No he doesn't and You're gay!" then another person respons with "Call this number for a hot sticky fun time! 555-346-2394"
happy week to you hon!
lol thats soo funny! yea i hate automatic stuff! its like dude i can turn on my own water and get my own paper towel!
Ha! Your right...public bathrooms are the worst! I hate the germs, the fact that it takes longer to drape the toilet paper on the seat then to use it. I cant stand when your busy and someones little angel decides to look under the stall to see who is in the next stall....then trys to have a conversation while your trying to finish your business...ugh! I hate it when you realize too late that there is not any toilet paper......
I went to a Creed concert several years ago and they served alcohol....i don't have a prob when some one drinks responsibly but when you use the bathroom and you have to sidestep the vomit to use it thats just wrong...well enough of that....when holding it is not a option bring your own tp and seat covers,chow
heh you should see the bathrooms at my campus. during the week there, well not as bad. but on a friday or saturday night, even the showers may have someone's puke in them. I've resorted to using the gym showers pretty often.
people are soooooooooo gross.
Thank you for accepting my friend's request!
Toilets are one of my favourite topics too. I've written a post on it a couple of months ago .
Have a great week!
10 Roses for You.
You are receiving these roses because you are a special person! Each rose symbolizes a special wish from me to you.
One Rose for Long Friendship
One Rose for Unconditional Love
One Rose For Financial Wealth
One for Everlasting Happiness
One for Success
One for Knowledge
One for Beauty, inner and outer
One for Family
One for Honesty
And the last one for a long and healthly life
Haha I was just thinking about how much I hate public bathrooms today. The thing that gets me is when someone is having a conversation on a cell phone while they are in the bathroom. Come on! I've always thought of sitting in the next stall and making diarrhea-like sounds and moans just loud enough for the person on the other line to hear. That would fix em...
ohhh I know precisely which one you mean cause that one grossed me out as well....therefore I am known as a germaphobe in those bathrooms.....I take so freaking long so I don't have to actually touch anything....ehhhh.....did you see the one on the motel rooms? that one really was nasty......
LOL! Thanks to you, I'll never think of going for a piss in the same way again!
My thoughts exactly...LOL
Hey, I think that turkey is pretty darn scary. Too bad that the cute farmer girl is an ex - do you adopt ex-es? My in-law's family reunion is filled with exes who politely avoid each other but socialized quite sociably with everyone. I think it's quite impressive.
I have a solution to public toilets (perhaps you've already heard this, I haven't read your comments) - have a bottle of that hand sanitizer with you. And for the door issue... Hmmm. Maybe carry some time of collapsible baton? Grow one long fingernail? You got me. Maybe it is better to just stay home.
Not so much into public bathrooms either, although it can get a lot worse. I remember in China, this one rest area had this giant concrete room with no stalls. Basically they expected everyone to go on the floor and some woman sitting in a chair nearby would spray it off the floor with a hose.
Wost. Public. Bathroom. Experience. Ever.
oh my gosh! what an ordeal!! exactly why I carry hand sanitizer with me everywhere!
LOL...hilarious yet disgusting.
You should check out public toilets here in Malaysia or school toilets. You will be lucky if you find one with a door....or water.....or tissue. Some even have a nice desert waiting for you in the bowl.....(ewww). Nice post anyway! Had a good laugh:) Keep up the good work.