October 15, 2007

  • James And The Giant Penis

    Edit below:

    This weekend Expunge ( exhusband who lives with me ) and two other couples, went to my dads beach house.  I don't feel like getting into why expunge and I travel together as I have a much " bigger" topic. 

    First let me say the names in this post have been changed to protect ME!  Of course Expunge is Expunge. 

    Expunge and I drove with James and Kitty.  Kitty used to attend the local high school, as did the "UPS" man.  So I asked Kitty, " Do you know Buck, the UPS man?"  She confirmed that she did know Buck and I think she even dated him for a short time.  So I said, " I heard he has a giant penis!"  ' not just big, deformed big'  ' They called him elephant.'  That got a lot of laughs and then James said "  I was at his bachelor party and trust me it's not that big"  This of course was disturbing on many levels.  Why was Bucks penis out at his bachelor party?  Why was James looking?  How does he remember the size from 20 something years ago?  And why did he feel the need to share that with us?  I never really got the answers to those questions.

    The next day the other couple joined us, Bob and Alice. Bob and Alice also attended the community high school, and they also know Buck. 

    They had never heard this legend either.  But I got it from a reliable source.  One of my good friend's husband who went to the high school, said the other boys called him the elephant in the locker room, because he had an abnormally large penis.

    Obviously, these people ( the couples we went with) don't know as much about Buck as they think. 

    Later at dinner the subject of Buck and his penis came up again.  James said he read that if you measure a mans hand from wrist to the end of the fingers you will know his penis size.  So of course now  everyone at the table is " discretely"  looking at the men's hands.  Not that any of us cared, it's just that now that it was out there, you couldn't help but look.  Really, one of the guys would cut a piece of his meal and there my eyes would go, straight to the hands.  It was really quite uncomfortable.  I didn't want the guy or his wife to see me looking, but I just had too.

    No need to look ladies, I googled  it when I got home and found this is an urban myth. 

    Buck's giant penis might be an urban myth too, but I prefer to think it's true.

    Just because I have never looked at Buck the same way, and if I find out it's false, I will have to look at him as just a regular " UPS" man. 

    I can't check out his hands now.  feet are out too according to the sites I googled.  Noses?  Not a good indicator. 

    Kitty is going to ask Bucks wife ( since they are friends ).  But Kitty, if your reading this, unless it's true, I don't want to know.

    Like I said, Buck is much more interesting when I think about him in terms of having the largest penis in the world.

    We had good times, and good laughs. 

    Expunge and I get along SO much better now that the kids are gone and were divorced.  It's so odd. :shrug:


    Jennie's site

    EDIT: $%#@#@%^%$  Now this computer has major problems!!!!!  I might be MIA for awhile just wanted you all to know.  :SCREAM:  It took me hours to get on here!!!!

Comments (29)

  • i LOVE THE "CRYING MACHINE" PICTURE- TOO FUNNY.

  • A urologist on TV one time said that although there was no real way to tell the length that he felt there was a relationship between the thickness of the fingers and the thickness of the penis.

  • I saw on Oprah where Dr. Oz said that if a man is a bit overweight he can gain an extra inch by losing 35 pounds. That'll put alot of guys on a diet if that gets out in the mainstream!

  • AWE to bad it was an urban legend I would of wanted it to be true....

  • If only there WERE a foolproof way for determining size...

  • Interesting that men have always compared themselves to other men and that's why they look every chance they get! Googling helped see it at their perspective...when they look down at themselves it's like getting a bird's eye view and that is shorter than what it really is.

  • I would have felt uncomfortable with everyone wondering at the table.   But there is nothing wrong with a big penis

  • I heard the myth that guys with longer dinks make more boys and shorter dinks make girls (the sperm that makes male goes fast and for a short time while the female goes slower but for longer, etc). I don't know if it's true but since then if I see a guy with five daughters I think "you poor man".

    I once knew a guy with elephantitis (like Mask) in his left testicle. I saw it, it was gross. I won't share how, but being as I'm a straight female it shouldn't make you wonder about me.

  • When I was a teenager my mom told me before erection it is the size of the thumb bwahahahahaha

  • Oh, Oh, OH! I so wish that wrist to fingers measurement was true!!!  Seeing as how my biggest turnon are a man's hands, I pay alot of attention to them. Sadly, my current love interest has the most lovely big hands.... but...

  • I had heard nose....but I'd rather not think about it....:) t

  • ROFLMAO!  I had to read it out loud to my hubby...that was the best true funny story I have read in a LOOOOOOOOOONG time!

    Thank you for sharing!

  • Oh my gawd, you're hysterical woman. The thought of you trying to take a sneaky peek at the mens hands while they ate their food had me laughing out loud.

  • ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    This one of the funniest posts I have read in a long time.

    XOXO

  • My BIL is an UPS man. He claims he can't wear the little brown shorts and has to fight off women with his clipboard. I wonder if Kitty's friend is my SIL.  Or maybe all UPS men are well endowed. Hmmm. I think I have a lot of online shopping to do.

  • Actually it's not odd that you and the ex are getting along better.  It's pretty common.  With the kids grown and out of the nest there is a heck of a lot less stress.

  • Ha ha ha-still cracking me up.   Perhaps all the xanga folks could do a study and report back.  Do we have to measure while erect or relaxed?

  • ROFL... !  the image of your faces aroudn the table when james said "trust me... it's not that big..."   I totally lost it

  • It's a good thing this guy is a UPS man, since everyone seems interested in his package.

  • ROFL!!!!!  I had to read it to my husband, too, and he then had to tell me all the reasons why the hand and nose and etc. are not true.  I'll never look at the UPS man the same way again.  You are too funny!

  • UPS makes countless deliveries to our house every day, for hubby's business.  I think I am going to ask him if he knows Buck. 

    Kathi

  • Hands are out, feet are out... noses too.... so what?? HOW???? nothing to compare?  I just think its funny, that when we learn something like that, we can't help but look. I used to work with a guy named "Frank"... and "Frank's" "email" nickname was "MuleHouse" (his last name was House) I had asked about this and he had some lame story about the mule party....

    Well.. then my friend went out with him and they slept together and she informed me that the Mule in his name was not due to the lame story... she's like, "IT WAS HUGE. I saw it and I thought - OMG I can't do that!!!"   but she did.

    But... then, from then on out, he'd be sitting at work with me and my eyes would go straight to his crotch every time... hoping for a peek? A bulge? LOL.. Idk.. I think he knew though.. because he would smile.....

  • lol! but in the end i wonder if size really matters... i mean, think about those women who get breast jobs... does bigger really make it all that much more fun? hmmmm..... :)

  • I hope your 'puter issue gets sorted soon...

  • Yeah its an urban myth. I've measured (guys) before and its totally untrue.

  • maybe you could take a survey at your next class reunion then you might get the answer you are looking for.

  • The whole thing sounds disturbing.
    Like some of the people who commented above- I'll never look at the UPS man the same again.

    I really don't care about size.
    Which right now I don't care about guys at all.
    They're all stupid & will say anything to get you to go on a date with them/in bed.
    So, that being said, they could all be super tiny & I could care less.

  • Isn't it fascinating that men are so focused on size and women normally SAY they aren't, but in fact, size DOES matter a great deal to a lot of women. Some don't like big. Some don't like small. Apparently, it's time for Dr. Ruth research. Sexperts of the world, unite! 

  • Maybe Giant Penises really are better left unmeasured. 

    I do wonder about you and your ex-husband living together. I'm actually quite impressed! My parents would spontaneously combust if they had to live in the same house.  Interesting, but not exactly comfortable, you know?

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