April 9, 2008
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Alone not lonley
I'm not ditching work, I was really sick. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
I do think it's kind of coincidental that I got the tummy flu just when expunge got home from his Mexico trip.
He came home, he wasn't mean, he wasn't even really annoying, but my stress level hit the roof.
I LOVE living alone. Other people, including my own kids, stress me out. And irritate me. The weird thing is, I am a really social person.
I'm a phone person, I'm a go out to lunch person, I have always had a lot of friends.
Yet, as I told my sister yesterday, I hate everyone, except myself. She thought that was a good step in the right direction. Liking myself that is.
I'm just like those cranky, old, lady, cat, people. Except I don't want any pets either.
I just know I'm going to end up being the wicked witch. You know, every neighborhood has one. The house where the lawn is unkept and you don't see the person EVER.
All the kids dare the other kids to ding, dong, ditch, the wicked witches house.
Sure I'll miss the friends, the gossip, the good food. But in return I get to be alone, and I can let my hair get all ratty, ( rattier ) and scare all the kids.
How fun would that be?
Really fun.
I guess I'm just a contradiction. Because like I said, I'm actually very social. But I'm not sure I have to be. I never liked living with my original family either. Meaning my mom and dad, sister and brother. They're nice people, and I love them, but as roomates, they just fell short. Unfortuatly, I didn't have the funds at five to move out and live on my own, and I still don't.
I'm still working on getting a half dead sugar daddy. The problem is, I'm not cute enough yet, and most of them have children who would contest the will.
Then there's the sex issue. THAT won't be happening. I just want the money and my own wing, or house.
For now though I guess I'll have to put up with expunge, and my kids, who will be home this summer. But if you know anyone who fits the following criteria let me know
1) VERY,VERY, old man, on his way to meet his maker.
2) He must be blind ( who has time to get cute)
3) He must be VERY, VERY, wealthy
4) he must have no children or any relatives for that matter.
5) He must be too old to have sex, or expect/want sex.
6) he must have a private nurse to take care of his needs.
What I have to offer.
Nothing.
So, 7) he must be too out of it to expect anything. Including conversation.
Let me know.
Comments (28)
I don't know - you've got something to offer. Your life is insane enough to keep me entertained.
@ronlawhouston - I guess my life would be pretty boring, just scaring the kids, then I wouldn't have anything to blog about. BUT if I got the sugar daddy, I would have a really interesting blog. So keep your eyes open!
I'm with you! I'm a very social person but I just want to be by myself .. no husband, no kids, nobody bothering me! I'm looking for a man who just wants to have sex ... lol!! I don't want to live with him, or pick up after him .. just take me to dinner and service my needs, then SEE YA LATER!!! That's my dream ..
Dear Laura,
I qualify for #5 above. I have some great memories though!
"Then there's the sex issue. THAT won't be happening."
Even with your discount at the "Lover's Lane" store?
Michael F. Nyiri, poet, philosopher, fool
@DaBombMom2 -
well hopefully it will work out for both of us
@baldmike2004 -
no way, I thought you were a player. No the lovers lane thing is out, that store is too intense.
Who needs sex when you have the lovers lane discount card?
I second that the fact that a personal nurse is a must...haven't you already changed enough diapers?
Sometimes, you just need some space - I completely understand. There is something about being alone that is very calming.
@brandi_shawn -
ha ha, your damn straight I have
@cindyjg -
But I need space A LOT ha ha
Howdy!
thanks for the recommendation and the comment. I 'ppreciate ya, ma'am!
And oh, good luck Anna Nicole!
@iamdixiedydo - yep that's me, the next Anna Nicole ( except I'm not a druggy and I think she slept with that old guy ewwwww) That was a great post, so your welcome.
Well, maybe you'll get over your people-hating, wicked-witch-embracing mood soon. Sometimes a little "away" time is all it takes to become a social goddess again.
I too have waring social and anti-social urges. Like right now I'd love to stay home, but have to go to a bible study because I am kind of the co-leader and can't shirk my duties. Too bad I'm so damn responsible. It's a blessing, but mostly a curse. (-:
Your criteria really describes the perfect man. Well, except for the sex part. I'm with Alicia on that one.
@WakeUpLaughing - Sex = too much work. Just give me the $$$$. Unless it's a young hottie, then I might be able to get myself worked up.
@evagarringer -
See that's the thing, I'm not sure this is a mood, I've kind of always been like this. Social/not. Anyway, I hope once you get there your happy you went, sometimes that happens to me.
hahahaha, if you find him, find out if he has a brother for me okay? I want a man who has one foot in the grave and another on a banana peel. It could also be arranged but I don't want to go to jail. hah
Thank goodness my hubby sleeps during the day & works nights, because I like being here alone....I am too set in my ways to start over with anyone else if anything should ever happen to him....so, give me one of those old rich men with one foot in the grave....
I think you should place an ad!!! Craig list it girl!
@soul_survivor -
Yeah, jail = not worth it.
@SoonerRose -
that would be a nice set up.
@browneyedpsycho -
great idea!!!!!!
This was a really fun post. I already hold title to the cranky old cat person but I will keep my eye open for the purrrrfect man for you.
Hmm, a rich man would make you real hot....make that a generous old man,,,,
Another hotie? Maybe a stimulating and correct gentleman instead. Who knows if there is such a person that is never irritating?
I think you could fall for a doctor that could cure you painlessly of diabetes and other problems. Now that animal doesn't unfortunately exist...
Hmmmm, My FIL suits most of that...but of course he has relatives. And I'm not sure how rich very very rich is...I mean, it's all relative, right?
@Carol_1 -
okay, thanks
@PPhilip -
nope, he doesn't
@flaminredhead -
rich he enough to keep me in my own house until I die, and a pool and maid would be nice.
no, no, no I'd look on freecycle for sure. invisible fencing for people is what you need.
@illgrindmyownthankyou - yeah I'll put it all around me.
Obviously, you're going to have to take out a million dollar life insurance policy on Expunge, and then send him out to fix the roof during a lightning storm.
M'dear, I've been looking for one of those for about five years now. They must be out of stock.
@Bad_Dogma -
your right. But if I get busted I'll be in the pen with Bertha : yikes:
@fratmom -
damn!!!!
Comments are closed.