October 16, 2008

  • Laura for President

    The Featured grown up site has given us a writing challenge and I have taken the bait, What Would I Do if I were president of The U.S.  Click on the link for more fabulous entries.  But first here's mine.

    Well, I can tell you what I wouldn't do.  I wouldn't be talking about stressful things like the Economic crisis and Fannie Mae.  All that does is stress people out and make them eat more chocolate.   It just  makes me long for a milk chocolate piece with the caramel in the middle.  Of course I have no desire for the bad kind, with the clear stuff that pours out.  Why do they make those kind anyway?  We all poke the middle and throw out the icky ones.  But that's besides the point.  The point is that's what I think of when I hear Fannie/Fanny May/Mae.  So they need to stop saying it.

    Not that I am denying we have a problem, but I have a cure.  Charge more for White House Tours, but make them more fun.  For example, $5.00 for five min. of jumping on Lincolns bed.  Or  $1.00 a min. to have alone time with your honey in the Oval Office.  I am calling that one the Bill and Monica experience. 

    It's genius really.  Have you all ever been on one of those tours?  BORING.  If I remember right it was " This is the red room"  bla bla bla.  So disappointing.

    Also, lets bring the fun back in money.  I would order the mint to use florescent colors to print the $$$. 

    I bet some of our lazy, pot, smokers would be more motivated to work to get some of that!!!!

    No jobs you say?  Well I for one, as President, would create jobs.  All people making over $250,000.00 a year will be forced to hire maids and butlers from a national list.  If you don't work due to laziness, or you are deemed one of those kids who comes back after college and never gets a job or leaves, you will be asked to leave the country or risk jail.  We don't need any slackers in America.

    Health Care?  If you smoke, eat bad ( former smoker, bad eater here) and don't exercise ( raises hand), you must pay for health care.  I know, I threw myself under the bus with that one, but it's only fair. Come on fellow fatties, it was your choice to bing on those Whoppers, why should we have to pay for it?   All healthy people get free health care, but not dental, just because dental would be taking it a bit far.  As for kids, anyone caught taking their fat kid to McDonald's more than once a month as a treat will be fined and faces house arrest. 

    Speaking of fat kids, I would offer tax cuts to people who actually made their kids go out and play.  No breaks for parents who let their kids sit on their tushies all day in front of the computer.

    As for the war, I don't like it, but I have no military expertise.   I know I don't want to get bombed or be annihilated, so I guess I would have my VP. figure that out.  Not sure who that would be, but whatever.

    I am sure you can all appreciate I would make a great President.  Feel free to write me in.  I promise to blog daily about all the goings on in the White House.  And we know THAT would be pretty interesting.

    Should I bring Expunge ( ex husband)?  Just a thought.  Let me know.

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