December 5, 2008

• Who ever told you life was fair?

  When I was a kid only the best a brightest were rewarded with trophy's and ribbons.  Of course your own mother put your picture on the fridge and said it was pretty, but it was understood that, duh, that's your mom.  

  This gave me a true sense of what I was good at and what I wasn't.  I knew that I sucked at drawing and crafts.  After all, I'm not blind.  But had I had a teacher tell me "  Great job Laura, I like how your Popsicle stick house looks like a tear down"  I might have thought I had talent. 

  And that would have been a bad thing.  Because eventually kids need to be in the real world, where it is competitive and you really do have to be good at what you do.

  And here is another shocker, there are winners and losers in life.  Hard work doesn't always mean good.   I worked damn hard on my crafts, maybe even harder than other kids, but in the end, they, well, sucked.

  So I learned, I am not an artist, or a baseball player.  I could work my ass off, but I was never going to get an " A " in geometry. 

  Because back in the day, we got what we earned, and I never got a trophy even if I tired.  And although I was a cute girl, I was never going to be tall, or a super model.  And although I could sing on tune, I was no Barbara Streisand.  

  And sometimes I really was the best, but someone else disagreed, and so I accepted that, because life isn't fair and no one told me it was.

  And I knew that sometimes you had to be in the right place at the right time, or you had to look a certain way, or just have really good luck.

  And all that was and is okay, because that's how it goes.  And some people seem to get everything and some people get nothing.  And some of those people that get everything are not nice, and I try and be nice, but life isn't fair.  

  But you keep working hard at what your good at because it gives you self satisfaction to keep going and not quit.  And you realize you're not entitled to anything, but you hope when opportunity knocks you are there to open the door. 

  And maybe opportunity will never knock, but that's because life isn't fair and whoever told you it was, lied.

  On that note, my kid was one of two students nominated from Northwestern University for a Carnegie endowment for international peace.  Which means lots of other REALLY bright kids were NOT nominated.  Because it is very prestigious and sought after.

  And they may have deserved to be nominated.  But Northwestern could only pick two and THEY were not one of them.  And now she is competing against hundreds of kids from other colleges and Universities.   And of course I think my kid is the best.  But, duh, I'm her mom.

  And she may just be the best person for this fellowship, but someone might disagree, and she will accept that, because life isn't always fair.  But she will be so grateful and so honored that her hard work has been validated by her school.  And if she is lucky enough to move forward in this process, she will appreciate it, because she knows there are hundreds of other kids who are working just as hard for this.

  Because I raised my kids to know they are not entitled to sh#t.  And that life isn't fair.  And when it works out, you appreciate it and hold onto it, because someone else is saying " life isn't fair."  But, today it worked out for you, so be grateful.

   Because next time it might not be you.

   
  

  • 8:19 pm
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