August 11, 2009

  • You give me gas

     
    Allow me to rant if you will, not about the price of gas, but about gas stations, in particular Shell Gas station.

    I wanted to blog about this last winter, but life got in the way and then I remembered it the other day as I was getting gas.  So one cold, freezing, beyond cold, winter, Chicago, day I was arguing with myself as to whether or not I should get some gas.  Yes, I had been on empty for a day or so, but it was COLD and I really just wanted to go home and crawl into bed.  In the end, the rational side of me won and I decided I could stand it for a min or two whereas running out of gas in this weather would have sucked really, really bad. 

    So I pull in to Shell.  Not the cheapest, but the closest at the time.  Let me preface that I was never a fan of self serve.  I liked having the cute but dangerous boy fill up my tank AND wash my windows.  But over the years I have gotten used to it.

    However, I like simple pumps.  Slide the card, pick the cheapest, and pump.  Shell makes you answer a million questions about a car wash and am I sure I don't want one and did I get anti freeze today?  If that is not annoying enough, as I am freezing my large but cute tushy off, it is not cooperating and no gas is coming out because I did the order wrong or something. 

    Finally, while I am trying to not let my fingers freeze on the metal, the gas starts coming out and I hear a loud mans voice yell " WELCOME TO SHELL".  I must have jumped ten feet in the air.  WTF, who said that?  Then I realize on top of the pump is a TV. and it's talking to me and showing me all kinds of things that would benefit my car. 

    That really pissed me off.  Is that necessary?  What an added, stupid, expense.  First, in the middle of winter, the last thing I want to do is stand in the cold and watch TV.  Okay, maybe if they were showing Weeds, or Big Love, but a loud Shell man trying to sell me crap?  No.   I always get the gas started and then let it go while I sit in my car.  Granted, it's unheated, since no one has figured out how you can safely keep the car running while getting gas, but still...

    So while I am shivering in the car, I am not even watching the TV.  What I am doing is wondering if this is part of why Shell charges $10.00 a gallon.  I can almost guarantee that Shell is not making any added money buy having the TV. up there.  And most people are not in the mood for the cheery " Welcome to Shell" message and as I already told the pump, "  No, I do not want a car wash, we are in the middle of an ice storm stupid Shell guy". 

    So recently I was beyond empty again, and I pulled into a Shell which had no TV.  I am thinking they realized no one was watching the TV's and they got smart and removed them, but then I noticed the screen that asks if it's credit or dept, and it is having a running dialog.  I say dialog, because I was answering the questions.  "  NO, I don't want a car wash, and even if I did it wouldn't be from here"  "  No, I don't need engine dejunker or whatever, I don't trust you Shell, I think you are trying to rip me off"  "  In fact, I'm not reading anymore of this crap, just like I plugged my ears when your Shell guy was trying to sell me stuff." 

    Oh where, oh where, is the cute, but dangerous high school boy?  Pretty soon the self checkout at the grocery store is going to be asking "  did you remember you feminine hygiene products?"  "  Have you douched today?"  " Constipated?"  " Prunes are on sale" 

    Oh Shell, you give me gas.

Comments (21)

  • You made me laugh out loud, or LOL as you young'uns say. 

    Your Mom. 

    I'd say that you're probably now going to write about how queer I am, but Liz told me that "queer" isn't cool to say anymore.  I suppose "cool" isn't cool to say either.  I think I'll just shut up.

  • @dianestickler - wow mom, did you feel bad I wasn't getting any " cool" comments.

  • Haha. That was hysterical. 2 thumbs up.

  • @sincerely_jennie - thanks, at least my family likes me

  • I've never run into all that gizmo crap...but then I've never bought gas at Shell. I was annoyed with ARCO however because if you use your debit card they add on a 45 cent fee. Now I get my gas at Costco.

  • Too funny!  I lol'd too.

  • @lizbeth62 - ahhh another family member, the blog for family.  Thanks

    @PrincessFiveandDime - yay!!!!  We aren't related woo hoo!   Thanks for commenting.  A charge for using your card %^&%#%$%$!!!!!!  Not good ARCO.  Hey come back and recommend maybe I'll get another non relative.

  • BP used to at least play the national news through their TVs. Better than ads, but do I really need to know about the heat wave in California? And if I did happen to need that info, I don't think my first (...or second or even twentieth...) thought would be, "Hey, let's stop at BP and find out what the chances are that it's going to rain in Los Angeles tomorrow!"

  • Haha!
    Maybe in the future they'll come out with cute, dangerous, robot guy to pump your gas.

  • At my job they sometimes put me on the register and the day we have to ask people if they want to by prunes or any of that stuff is the day I walk. Having to ask about M&Ms is one thing, but.. no.

    Another great post, =].

  • LOL!  What, do they think we are so "wired" that we need to have constant stimulation? 

  • I don't know if you have Sheetz stores where you are, but they have dialog too, when all you want is gas. Do you want a car wash today? How about a receipt? A hot dog? they have this fancy screens though, that you can order food while you pump your gas and go inside to pick it up.

  • @filtered_sunlight@momaroo - ha ha.  Our BP's in our area are pretty simple, the kind I like.  Your comment made me laugh.

    @DiscordInTheGarden - Now that would be perfect, then I wouldn't have to feel like a pervert!!!

    @Snickers2008 - Thanks, yeah come to think of it I do get asked by the checkout people if I am interested in Oranges on sale today ha ha.

    @gottobereal64 - I guess!!!!  I prefer the quiet gas pumps lol

    @MorningAngel - nope, no shitz or Sheetz whatever, I might order a hot dog if they brought it out ha ha

  • I always walk in and pay cash first. Makes me feel legit, plus I get to schmooze with the dangerous girls. Who are required, on pain of termination, to ask me if I want a 'mat'zit b'shekel ve' hetzi'? ( 'a lighter for about 50 cents') Poor things, living in constant fear of company shtinkers, who make the rounds checking on the enforced dialogue///. This is a clever and witty post, btw, speaking as mebbe your eight cousin, tops.

  • @jsolberg - well thank you, and thanks for the Hebrew lesson.  I will be using that in my next encounter with the Indian guy at the counter.  Just for fun!!!!

  • lol at that pic!

  • This is funny!!

    We recently had our Albertsons get rid of the self-checkout. They also had a sign up promising that no line would have more than three people in it.

    I was fairly impressed!

  • @lifeatrandom - Thanks

    @Krissy_Cole - really!?  Wow, so did they keep their promise with the line thing?  We don't even have that store, but our Dominiks and Jewel would never get rid of self check out.

  • @momofjenmatt - So far, they have. It almost makes it worth it to spend the extra money to shop there...almost...on double coupon days. haha

  • You're so funny...that reminds me, I forgot to buy prunes yesterday.  

  • @vexations - Maybe you do need the self service TV. to remind you of these things.  

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