August 17, 2009
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Reasons I won't quit smoking Weed and I want 964 comments too!
Reasons Why I Won't Quit Smoking Weed
I already know that smoking weed is bad for you, and ba ha ha. I already see the movies at DARE Program. And like I heard it was kind of illegal. You get high. People are frightened. You age. You die. Well, guess what? Eventually, you die.You do, everyone does, die I mean they die a lot.
I don't smoke weed to look cool. I don't smoke weed to fit in with crowds (obviously, if I don't to look cool).
I smoke weed to look like this
Hell yeah, that's a picture of me smoking weed.
I'm really high right now but I I guess I'll just bullet it.
Reasons Why I Won't Quit Smoking Weed:
- I feel happier (Yes I do coke to feel better, but smoking is nice too).
- I'm not having a kid any time soon (Really. I'm way too old).
- I eat like a pig (Hello, food tastes SO much better).
- It won't make a difference to me aging (I know cause my Dad and Grandparents smoke Weed, but they haven't aged much at all. It's cause they smoke crack too, they're so healthy and don't age. At all, no aging for them, wait who said that? Plus, I look young. I pass for 60).
- Sometimes, I'm just bored, so I smoke weed.
- It makes me less angrier, of a person (wait, what was I saying?).
- If I quit now, I'll end up smoking Weed WAAAY more in the future. So, I might as well not quit, unless I have a perfectly good reason. Which I don't, do I???? Do I??? Who said that?
I mean, seriously, I love my self. But don't take it wrong. But, if there was a reason to quit, it would be the sake of pregnancy or death .
Healthkicker responds: Obviously it's up to you, but according toTHC, "Adult male and female weed smokers gained an average of 13.2 and 14.5 pounds, respectively, because they had the munchies."http://www.healthkicker.com/709681299/reasons-why-i-wont-quit-smoking/#
Sorry, but SERIOUSLY!!!!!!
Sorry I spoofed you smoking girl, but it had to be done.
Comments (121)
Hahahahahaha...I'm not quite sure what to say. Awesome.
I thought you were going to say, those are the excuses the kids in your program tell you. LOL
@LeMizzMizz - I gather you read hers???
@radicalramblings - Close ha ha.
why not be happy! and if you can get to the point of being high and not being subjected to the other chemicals of our day... you may feel like a bush is burning on top of your head...
@momofjenmatt - indeed, I did.
@angelsofourday - huh?
@momofjenmatt - i'm just saying, i wouldn't be talking like i am today if i didn't fast for so long and put my self into shape. then, one day, i was listening to someone speak of a family death. i became very sad and he had brought over some herb. after i smoked, OMG, i had to leave the house and just be in the sun. suddenly, it felt like the glory of God was shining down on me. John doesn't say "in the Spirit" on the Lord's day for no reason. i've understood that some mind altering substances, when used properly, according to one's own ability to manage blood pressure, can make one feel "on top of the world" literally. i know, it sounds crazy because its everything against the DARE culture, but i now i can say i have smoked herb in two ways, the wrong way and the right way and now that i know the difference, OMG, its a feeling that is out of this world. i wouldn't recommend this to anyone. one has to be strong first to experience the "burning bush" feeling that comes with it. or maybe it was just unique to my circumstances.
now, its something i experience on sabbath only, when i am resting and i am ready to "take in" the glory of creation. when its time to "give out" the answer, it requires complete concentration, so then the drug is useless.
i'm just saying, to everything there is a right way and a wrong way. unfortunately, we are told that somethings are just completely wrong.
I haven't gained a pound and neither does my husband!
Lol. Brilliant spoof. Hopefully you get the amount of comments you're looking for.
@angelsofourday - hummm
@BEAUTIFULCINNAMONQUEEN - It's a spoof.
@Daithi - thanks : wink:
Okay, I think you are ready for "prime time." Your spoof ranks up there with the best of them. Cheers
@vexations - Thanks, I basically just copied hers though, which is kind of sad. Although, I am sure you guys like " my" picture.
@momofjenmatt - in your response i feel a scolding. maybe its societies eyes or maybe its your profile picture with your words ;
Weed is stinky, that's all I'm going to say
@iStephanieMarie - ok
i read the original post...and I don't know what to say hahahah!!
@noree_n - ha ha is enough : )
Well. It is a little hard to know what to say to all of this...so,...um,...YOU GO GIRL!!
That is great
Nice! Hmm... maybe I should write a post about why I'm going to START smoking weed.
I will not stop smoking weed because my drug counselor says I have a problem with opiates, not herbs!!!
Hahaha!!!!
*I'm joking*
LOL!
I thought that was the stupidest featured post ever; I figure they
featured it so people could try and talk her out of her idiocy...
although I figure someone that dumb wouldn't get it anyway. Someone
should write "Why I Won't Stop Dropping Things On My Foot"
Ps that picture made me want to lose my lunch. *makes Yucky face*
They probably featured it knowing it would get tons of traffic, which it did. But definitely one of the lamer posts I've seen, nice spoof.
Okay, this is pretty funny haha!
haha!
too funny!
This is an awesome spoof
*claps*
I think you should quit smoking weed.
Switch to hash.
Woah you pass for 60? That's young as heckk! (: Definetly telling my grandpa!
@villainwasright - Thanks for the comment, much appreciated
@trunthepaige - .Thanks
@MyxlDove - good idea
@XDaemonessX - this was a joke too!!!!
@randomneuralfirings - : )
@LucyWrites - ha ha, my picture????? Or the picture of her smoking??? Cause I think my picture is sexy, thanks for commenting!!!!!!
@shy_and_sad - yeah but it wasn't even well written!
@VividRed - thanks
@WakeUpLaughing - thanks
@firetyger - and more thanks
@dropsofjupiterihh - will do
@Hippy_Kitty - is he cute????
Yeah, he knows how to dance too, you both can be a cute little pot head couple.
@Hippy_Kitty - ha ha, sounds great!!!!
I don't smoke anything. And your post is hilarious!
@uklayyy - thanks and smoking is very bad bad bad ha ha
ITA! You keep on doing what you're doing!
@gottobereal64 - will do, smoke da weed baby! Wait, who said that????
I can't decide if this fails more at being clever or funny. I'm not going to spare the time it would take to decide.
@sometimerainbow - that was harsh, maybe you shouldn't have taken the time to comment either, although I appreciate it.
You forgot a few reasons... but, with all the weed, I'm not surprised. I haven't hit it yet, so let me help:
* I will not stop smoking weed because the world is so colorful when I'm high.
* I will not stop smoking weed because when I am high I have no interest in killing my kids anymore. (Killing my kids would be bad - they don't let you get high in prison.)
* I will not stop smoking weed because I have no desire to pay attention.
* I will not stop smoking weed because all my friends smoke weed, and I need to have friends... cool friends, friends that smoke weed...
* I will not stop smoking weed because I have not met my goal - full blown reefer madness. (It's real man - they made a movie...)
* I will not stop smoking weed because when I am high I can see that Sponge Bob is a prophet. No seriously - that sponge knows, man, and he's trying to tell us all...
... there was more... I'm pretty sure there was more... but while I was typing this I got high... and now I can't remember what I was going to say... Hey - can you pass the Funions and Dew, please??
@Breezybelle - ha ha ha!!!! Those were great man!!!! But dude you can get high in prison, like I know people who do, but don't kill the rug-rats, not cool man.
@momofjenmatt - getting high in prison would be ok... if the weed doesn't hafta smell (or taste - ugh!!) like the ass it was smuggled in...
@Breezybelle - OMG, you're funny!!!!!
LMAO! You crack me up!
muahahaha I love it! She only got that many comments because BunnyParfait, her numero uno fan, contributed like 900 of them attacking people. Yours was sooo much better!!
So THAT is what YOU look like when you smoke weed? I'm not into weed and never have been, but if that is one of the benefits... well, I can understand its popularity. I don't desire to look like that... not even close. For a 53 year old man to look like that would be just about as weird as you can get. However, the next time I see someone who looks like that (not that I ever have, or not that I'd admit in public), I'll just walk right up to her and say, "You're really a middle age mother of college-age kids aren't you, and you look like you do only because you're a weed-smoker, right? But, I know I won't get an honest answer. It's obvious that someone who uses weed does not have a grasp on reality.
@greeneyes31Â - Thanks : )
@The_Aimed_Wanderer - Thanks, I don't know bunny, should I invite them over.
Haha This was awesome!
@MixedUpMale - your comment made me LOL for real, and I'm not even stoned
@SimplyNita - thanks
Terrific spoof. loved it
Fantastic!
hahhahaahaaa LOVE THIS!!
that post was so lame and stupid!
@PeanuttJones - thanks
@sfamylou - thanks for coming over !!!!!
@Bacardii_Qween - always love to have someone agree.
@Creed_of_Kings - THANKS!!!!
@firetyger - I worked with this knucklehead (momofjenmat) for 5 years. Not as funny in person, as when writing. Sorry, momof.
LMAO
wow we would ALL smoke weed to look like that hahahaha
@tazz66 - yeah ha ha
@villainwasright - really? I was just told at work, that I am hysterical, maybe you weren't listening.
Awesome!!! When I read her piece, I was horrified at her "logic" (or lack thereof). Thanks for trying to take her down a notch.
@Bukowski_Rules - any time
hahaha nice one. here's one more towards 964!
if smokin weed made me look like that, i'd smoke everyday.
I am not comment number 964, but I will help get your numbers up and keep you on the front page.
Hahahaha! I think this post made more sense, both logically and grammatically, than the Healthkicker post. And that's just sad.
I love weed but at 60 it's too hard to score some standing on a corner or at the local teen hangout.
I'm diabetic and can't drink legal alcohol either.
I wish they would legalize it already and then they can tax it to death like they do cigarettes. Yes, the death pun is intentional.
Namaste.
P.s. Love the pic! lol
Haha, you crack me up
@my_palimpsest - I appreciate it!!!!!!! Thanks!!!
@BunnyHu - me too
@amygwen - Thanks, I read some of her comments, I probably need to start a fight in my comment section : )
@jupiter312 - Oh know!!!! That is SAD!
@lacemagicke - I'm diabetic too, try getting a script for xanax ha ha
@cokebottlefigure - thanks
@momofjenmatt - LOL not your picture I love that one. I meant the half naked chick who's smoking.
I loved when she said her dad and grandpa havent aged. Glad you took off with that gem.
You're brilliant.
And I think that girl in the picture has square boobs.
Just sayin'.
You Spoof Queen, you.:)
lol!!!
Hers was definitely a lame post. In her post I was kind of looking for something... oh, I don't know... informed? Yeah, not really. Nice spoof though
hahahah.....I saw this when "WhereTheFishLives" wrote about it. Yall are good!
I smoke weed to prevent Glaucoma. I refuse to wait until it has to be treated. The weed is there, and if it can treat, it can prevent.
LOL! amazing!
my stand point is : dont do coke , smoke pot!
LOL, this is great! I never did really smoke weed... the 3 times I tried it, it made me very paranoid. After the first time, I thought it was just because it was the first time, so had to try again. Second time, same thing, thought I was just jinxed.
Why do you need that number comments?
Kerri
http://facialskintreatment.com
I knew it gave you the munchies...but didn't know it would make one's body look like that!
Weed is good!
Haha!
just wanted to say High!
LOL ! Win!
@jupiter312 - I meant oh no, or oh I know, not sure it was really early in the am. I just noticed my response to you and was horrified.
@LucyWrites - yeah, she's gross
@ItsWhatEyeKnow - thanks, I got a kick out of that too. HA HA HA
@DiscordInTheGarden - so you're saying my boobs are square????? Them's fightin words. Lets get in a xanga fight on my comments!!!!
@kamomlisa - ah shucks
@Jaz - hee hee
@FashionPyrate - thanks
@Low_Mom - oh I think I missed that one, I'll have to check it out.
@Krissy_Cole - makes sense to me
@inadee - thanks : )
@Shanexx - right on
@onekerri - that's how many comments she had when I worte this. it was a joke.
@PrincessFiveandDime - I know right??? Pretty cool.
@wyzird - sometimes
@SunnyMitsu - thanks
@Paizleygrl - nice play on words!!!!
@livingfortommorow - thanks!
Do I get the feeling we are trying to make her comment count?
lol
@momofjenmatt - It's alright; I do that all the time =)
@onekerri - my goodness, whatever gave you THAT idea?
Thank God. That smoking girl is fucking retarded.
*laughs evilly* Job well done!
@Whispers_of_Wind - ha ha ha ha
@Carpus06 - thanks, I do feel "evil"
Yes, and it's been done. A spoof isn't really taking the word "smoke" and replacing it with "weed"...but it was funny. Check out this spoof, done earlier this week: http://saintvi.xanga.com/709853130/top-ten-reasons-why-you-should-smoke/
@gwennieg - read that and it was really funny, in fact it inspired this post. However, I disagree. many spoofs on Sarah Palin and others stick very closely to what the original person said. I tried to do that, take her words and make them sound stupider than they were. I also told santvi that they inspired me.
Satire comes in many forms. Glad you were amused though.
You inspired me to make a smoking blog of my own.
Come see!
@FashionPyrate - I'll be right over.
Hey thanks for the recommendation
It did have to be done. That post was redic.
@TheQueerGuitarist - It really was.
"I experimented a time or two, and didn't like it, and didn't inhale." -Bill Clinton
He forgot to add "But I sure liked the girls who got really stoned on it. I had this El Camino with astro turf in the back....."
@BB61 - ha ha ha!!!!
here's a comment for you
it's just useless and pointless. does that count or does it have to be towards your topic??
@MorningAngel - this counts, and it is much appreciated : ), although I am getting bored with the whole thing now.
Hahahaa! Maybe I'll do a spoof on obesity. I can see it now "I know eating 12 means a day is bad, but it just tastes so darn good! And I won't die from being fat: My dad and grampa are really fat, and they can still make it from the couch to the toilet!"
We could have like 10 people spoofing things that are bad for you, but there's no "good" reason to quit. Lol!
@Like_A_Tigah - ha ha, you should!!!!
I can't believe some people are so stupid... (her, not you!) Anything that is (a) that ignorant and (b) posted publicly deserves to be spoofed.
HAHA. I salute you. The girl who wrote the original post was a fucking idiot. Good one.
@LyricalJunkie - thanks
She put up a so-so post in my opinion. About why she won't give up smoking? Over a thousand comments when I checked. Sheesh! I mean who shivs a git?
Nice spoof.
Now I'm gonna put one up about rabbit tobacco. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
@dsullivan - Not that my spoof was literary genius, but hers was substandard in my opinion. Not even so/so. But that's just me.
There are good arguments and bad arguments but any argument can be enlightening. Whether you comment me agreeing or disagreeing means that you have reacted to me. I know you aren't dead! Those who don't argue are dead! Even though they are walking. ~ mom
it's too bad this isn't a post on why you won'tquit coke because you cracked me up..get it CRACK??!
@mommachatter - I agree
@V3nusFlytrap - thanks, good play on words!
Wow, this spoof is horrible and full of misinformation, I hope you get cancer, cannabis cures 3 types of cancer, one variety of skin cancer, one variety of lung cancer, and one variety of brain cancer, and it is used medicinally to help all cancer patients (given you live in a medical state and get the recommendation)
comparing cannabis to coke or crack is like comparing milk to hard liquor
btw, not only has the sun given people more health problems than cannabis, it has killed more people, same with food...hmmmm
one more thing, when reagan commissioned a study on cannabis, the lead DEA law judge in the study said that it is the safest therapeutically active substance on earth....wonder how they could mess that up
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