December 21, 2009

  • Things that have happened since I last blogged in September A holiday letter.

    Is anyone still here???  Oh well, thought I'd bring " everyone " up to date in the life of me.  Let's call it one of those annoying holiday update letters.

    Dear everyone I know and don't know,
    Happy Holidays.  Or not.

     2009 has both sucked and been good to the expunge family.  I have officially lost approximately 35 pounds since sometime in August, depending on the time of day and the  scale I obsessively go on. Everyone asks me how I did it, well wouldn't you like to know?  No, in truth, I just cut the calories.  And stress, major stress?  Always a good weight loss tool.  Nope, not really exercising, I figure I'll see how it looks when it's all off and if it needs some firming up I'll do it.  Maybe.   Or maybe I'll be a bag of flabby bones, we'll see.

    This isn't me.

    I got Jennie out of my bedroom!!!!!  Can I just say, having ones grown daughter in your room is paramount to living in an insane asylum.  I would like to personally give props to people who live in huts with their entire family and extended family. 


    Hut family

    You guys are amazing  ^^^^^ ( don't know who the white dude is in the picture).  Anyway, she got an apartment with boyfriend Jeff.  She was able to do that because she got a JOB!!!!!!!!!!  This was probably the best news of the year.  Since this holiday letter is to everyone I know, I won't tell you the name of her company, since stalkers are bad.  I'll just call it McSlave Trukk.  It's an industrial supply company and she gets everything for cost.  They even have tampon dispensers!!!!!  I was hoping she would get me one for Hanukkah, but she got me Jersey Boy tickets instead.  Oh well, I'll settle.  She is a web designer.  She knows nothing about web design, but they pay well, and she gets great benefits.

    Matt will probably get pissed off if I share any news about him, so in order to promote holiday cheer, I'll let him write his own holiday letter if he chooses to do so.

    I was excited that with Matt at school, that left me an expunge all alone, which is always nice since we don't really have to interact that way.  Unfortunately, it looks like expunge may have gotten himself a lady friend.  I know, right?  I was shocked too.  That means I may have to permanently expunge, expunge.  I know, I was waiting for the sugar daddy, but to be honest I didn't really put myself out there.  You know how it is, work and life get in the way and sugar daddy searching takes a back seat.

    That isn't me either.

    This is me
     

    Here is a picture of me.  I look like I'm on drugs, which I may or may not be ( not going to confirm or deny)  I am including it in this holiday letter because we didn't take holiday family pictures and some of my extended family hasn't seen me since summer. Plus, I am thinking of using it for my find a sugar daddy add, my sugar daddy will be at least 95, so it doesn't have to be the best picture.  I think I look fatter than I really am in this picture, but maybe I have that body dysmorphic thing.  Either way it's better than a few months ago.

    Work is going well for me, the bad boys have been pretty good, with the exception of Friday when one of the crazy kids went crazy.  Unfortunately, Expunge has joined the ranks of the unemployed.  Yep, unemployed and still gets a lady friend.  The world is upside down if you ask me. 

    I finally gave in and tried the elephant mask for my sleep apnea.   I decided after losing the weight I no longer had it, but my doctor said it's not a fat disease.  So I got the elephant mask and it SUCKS!!!!!!  I'm afraid I am going to have to be one of those people who give up on the mask.  I  mean who really designs these things?  The one I have now has so many Velcro tabs, you have to be an engineer to use it.


    And your hair gets stuck.  Unless you want to shave your head bald like in the above picture I would not suggest getting one.  So for now it just lays on the floor from when I threw it off a week ago.

    I apologize for the length of this holiday letter, but a lot has happened this year.  My favorite show of 2009 was Glee.  Sue is my girl!!!!!!  If you have never seen it, shame on you.  I also got hooked on Dexter, and Mad Men, and I am liking Modern Family.  I am excited about Ellen and American Idol and could care less who is on board with that.

    I brought my diabetes down so I now allow myself a little more than cheese and water, not much though cause I'm watching the calories. 

    Well, unfortunately expunge is home now as often happens when you're unemployed, and it's putting a cramp or crimp ( whatever ) in my creative, holiday letter, style.  So, maybe I'll catch up with you all in another three months.  Until then, Ba Hum Bug from me, and don't get so drunk you puke on New Years Eve.

    Oh, and I am now obsessed with the game Farmville, on Facebook, even though I think it's one of the worst, stupid, non intelligent, horrible, freeze my computer, games around. 

    I love my farm!!!!!!

    Much love,

    Momofjenmatt ( Laura)

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