April 30, 2011

  • Princess Kate hacked into my Facebook

    There is no other explanation as to how she took my wedding dress and changed a few things and made it into hers. 

     

     

     

     

    Yes, that's me kissing expunged, I mean it was our wedding day, calm down.  Back to how the princess stole my dress.  Granted I have the whole 80's thing going on, ( hate the hair) and much bigger boobs ( guess I prayed too hard in 7th grade, when I was still flat).  And her dress is obviously more expensive, and she looks thinner than I do. Although, I weighed a hundred pounds, so that sort of pisses me off.   The point is, I think it's pretty coincidental that our dresses are so similar.

    I mean really Kate, be original.  You're a princess now.  I know, I am a fashion trend setter, I always have been, look at this outfit.

    I am the one with Barbie and Ken.  Now as you can see, my taste has always been impecable.  I mean, the next thing we know Kate will be wearing an adult version of this outfit.   She may even include the slippers!    

    I figure since Kate clearly hacked into my Facebook, which is the only way she would have seen my dress, she will eventually be reading this blog.  So I will address the following to her directly.

    Dear Kate,

    I worked yesterday, so I didn't get to see the wedding where you were wearing my almost exact dress, but I need to tell you some things.  First, I am going to be really pissed off if I go watch my DVR'd All My Children, and they have preempted it with your wedding.  I mean seriously.  They have decided to cancel All My Children in September, so I need to see every episode until then, and lets face it people get married everyday. Do we have to have a whole month of this? I just don't even care anymore.  That may sound cold, but People magazine, 20/20, the news, the tabloids, it's everywhere.  I know, you're Royal or whatever,  but your father in law is disgusting and I really only care about who is keeping Erica locked up in that secret room.

     And not to burst your bubble as a newlywed, but the dress is a curse.  I am divorced from my ex husband, expunged.  And although I hope for the best for you and William, if he has any of his father in him he will have an affair with some totally ugly woman. I am not going to say anything about expunged and that similarity, because I have a facebook tattle tale.  You really should have asked me about the dress. I would have warned you.

     Not only that, I think I got mine at House of Brides, how much did you pay to have that knock off made?  I could have lent you mine for free.  A few alterations and walla. As for the other outfit, I'm not sure you will look as cute as I do in the Barbie, Ken photo.  Certain people just can't pull off certain looks.  Don't get me wrong, you are beautiful and according to my friend Rob from work, your sister with the weird Pippi Long Stocking name, is even hotter.  But the stripped pants and non matching shirt are something I just wish you would stay away from.  I guess you can steal the slippers, but again, it's really something only I could pull off with flair. Anyway, have a happy honeymoon and know that I am changing my password so you'll have to choose your own clothes from now on.

    The recipient of your stalking,

    Laura, AKA, Momofjenmatt

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