May 21, 2011

  • My last blog ever. Unless it isn't

    Edit at end_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

    Well guys it's been nice but unfortunately the world is ending today.  

    I'm not exactly sure how it works, but this proves it

    http://www.ebiblefellowship.com/outreach/tracts/may21/ .

     I just skimmed, because for one, I don't want to waste my last moments on reading some article and two, it's not looking good for me anyway.  The reason I'm not sure how this is going to work is I heard the end of the world is today at 6:00pm. not sure what time zone, but technically the world isn't ending until October, before then some of us will be fighting wars and natural disasters.  So some of you will get your pass to heaven, while others, sadly me, will be in Hell or suffering until October, then Hell.   Here is another link I didn't really read.

    http://sanfrancisco.ibtimes.com/articles/149393/20110520/may-21-2011-doomsday-harold-camping-false-prophet-christian-leaders-evangelical-end-of-the-world.htm

    I am aware that some Christians think this is a crock, but from the little I read ( two seconds) it seems pretty legit to me.  So  I am seeing Bridesmaids with my daughter and today, I will NOT be cleaning as planned.  No, before 6:00 pm. in some random time zone, I will be getting together with another unfortunate, very good looking person, and convincing him we need to have the best sex of our short lives.  And believe me that large extra butter popcorn , wow, can't wait.

    Sure the earth quakes and suffering will suck and I imagine Hell won't be any picnic, but you know, it's been an interesting ride in the last fifty years so I can't complain too much.

    For those of you who will be popping up to heaven at 6:00 pm. I think you should be thinking of the less fortunate, who are left behind.  Having some big old party up in some really cool, kingdom seems a little rude, and kind of un- Christian like.  I think you need to have a moment of silence until October, when it will be completely over.  Then you can party all you want.  But I would like to think that while I am crawling out from the rubble, and starving to death etc... that the lucky ones, will keep their excitement to a minimum.  

    I don't think that's a lot to ask, so please consider it.  I sort of feel bad I didn't say good bye to my coworkers , but I have a feeling a lot of them will be here with me.  And the ones that aren't?  Well you know what?  Screw you?  It's not my fault G-d put me with those Jews.  I have already suffered through gefilte fish, no Christmas, and dumb holidays like Tubishvat, whatever that is? So have fun in heaven, maybe the devil won't be that bad, and I can handle a little heat.

    Anyway, it's been nice knowing everyone in a cyber kind of way.  Off to go see my last movie, it better be good or I'll be pissed. 

    EDIT:  Bridesmaid was funny although raunchy and gross at certain parts.  For a last movie I give it two thumbs up.

    PS.  This blog is not intended to offend Christians in anyway, but it is intended to offend whatever his name is that thinks the world is going to end today.  Actually, my Christian friends have informed me, NO ONE knows when the Jesus will come back or when the world will end so I think I may still have a chance.  We'll see  at 6:01 pm. in some random time zone.

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