July 8, 2011
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What I did on my Summer Vacation
Well I worked at my real job exactly a week and a half, then I babysat the gym teacher's daughter. To protect her privacy, I will call her Salantra. This is similar to her name, but not really. Here are some pictures of her? Oh well, there goes the privacy.
This was at a friend's pig farm, even though those are cows. This was the day I stepped in pig shit. That's right, and lots of it. So far this was the most traumatizing thing to happen to me all summer. Maybe even my whole life. It's amazing I could even take this photo at all. After I stepped in it, I had some stranger with a power hose, hose me down. It hurt pretty bad, it was on full power, but who cares, I would have gone in a car wash at that point, turned a fire hose on myself, anything to get it off. After that I went in a swamp, shoes, socks and all and washed as much as I could. I almost threw the shoes away, but changed my mind. The socks may still be in the cow pasture.
Swamp/bathtub in back
I hope the baby didn't eat my socks, that would suck.
Anyway, we went there for an educational little field trip. Because that's the kind of Nanny/ babysitter I am. A regular Mary Poppins, and I'm pretty sure she is thrilled to have me. Right now, I am not feeling 100% so she is doing whatever in the other room. HEY! I took her to the pig shit place and we saw lots of nature this summer
See...
Anyway, when I relayed my outrage and disgust about the pig shit, which I can't even describe here without throwing up, my friend, the owner was unfazed. In fact, she acted like people do that everyday! Well, I'm sorry, I live in the suburbs of Chicago. Why is there even a farm there, or within a hundred miles?
Suburb, you know, houses that all look alike? Two car garages, maybe a park down the street, a super K, a mall. Farm, pig shit? No. When I threw that out there though, she didn't agree. Well, lets just say this not so nice Jewish girl ( me ) has seen her last LIVE pig and their feces, for a long time to come.
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I also celebrated my 51st birthday. That was fun, the pig shit owner, I mean my friend Sharon ( not her real name) and Diana ( you'll never guess her real name) surprised me, and our other friend Ira ( nope, not his real name and neither will anyone else's I mention from here on in) who's birthday it also was, with Dinner in Chicago.
So I already had a horrible day with my arch enemy AT&T. Why I choose to deal with them on my birthday is any psychiatrists guess. So I was in a VERY bad mood while in the car with Sharon on the way to Diana's. I wasn't allowed to know where my birthday surprise dinner was, and didn't know Ira, Tom, and Ira's boss Laura would be there. I was told we were going to a fancy restaurant, at a far away, crowded, icky, suburb. I made it perfectly clear to Diana this was NOT what I wanted to do on my birthday but she kept driving.
I frantically, and furiously text Tom, who knows we are meeting for a fun dinner in Chicago with no farms in sight.
Here is how I remember the text
Me: F word AT&T, I HATE them, OMG they suck. And I hate Diana right now. She is taking me 45 min to a PLACE SHE WANTS TO GO. How F word selfish can someone be? I made it clear I wanted to stay around here, but she is still driving!!!!!!!!
Tom: Mean
Me: MEAN????? What???? I can't believe you don't get it, she is taking me to that yucky suburb ____ and it's at least 45 min away!!!! And it's some fancy place, with some famous chef. Who cares, anyone who knows me knows I would hate that! SELFISH!!!!
15 min later I am told the truth because we are at a dead stop on the expressway. I feel kind of bad. Diana asks if we should just get off and go home, the Garmin is saying we will be 2 hours late.
Me: NO! That sounds fun, I want to try.
At this point you may be thinking I am the selfish one. Well let me assure you, I am nothing of the kind. Sure, I was mean about Diana, and I could tell she wanted to go home and not sit in traffic, and she was the one driving, and I was pretty sure the place we were going was super expensive. But it was MY birthday. So yeah, we went. Only 45 min. late, so whatever. And I'm pretty sure all the parties that paid are now selling things on E bay, but it was worth it.
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Other than that, I have dealt with a mouse or perhaps mice, I prefer to think of just the one little inch guy who scared me so much I didn't sleep for a week. I am short on cash, due to the not making any money, so I google natural Mouse repellents. Did I mention I am petrified of mice, and that my house is NOT dirty or disgusting? And traps are not an option due to the sound and the deadness. Anyway, Peppermint and bounce dryer sheets come up the most. I buy very strong, burn your eyes, peppermint oil. Not extract, that is a food. Oil. I buy 10 boxes of bounce, three mint plants, Peppermint and spearmint tea bags, Pine sol, Critter ridder ( which I think was coyote urine and was only supposed to go outside), two huge bags of cotton balls, and a couple other packets of things that mice are supposed to hate. Day one, my eyes are burning. I have vacuumed and scrubbed all floors with peppermint soap and pine sol. Along with scrubbing the drawers and counters with the peppermint soap. I have soaked at least 50 cotton balls with the oil, and thrown them all over the place. Mint oil and hot pepper are thrown down the vents and my bed is layered in bounce sheets. I have also surrounded my bed with the peppermint oil, tea bags, and bounce sheets. The Coyotee pee was sprayed in the closet where I saw HIM! I still don't sleep all night. I do the ritual for a week, every day I still see a couple droppings. I try and tell myself that they are old, but I know from the constant vacuuming they aren't. I buy two sound repelling things, and get rid of all food. I plug up the drains at night and put steel wool in every crevice. Still more droppings. By now, I have probably spent over two hundred dollars. Did I mention turning the air down to about 30 degrees thinking it wouldn't like the cold.
I call Orkin, for fifty bucks ( a special), they come out, plug up an outside hole near the air conditioner, and I have not seen another dropping since. AND they sprayed for bugs just in case. Screw the internet!!!!
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So that's pretty much it. Pig poop, mice poop, all good times. Is the universe trying to tell me something???? Only me, only me.
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Comments (13)
I'm also terrified of mice. I make sure i plug all the holes. The answer would be to live in a brand new apartment. I never saw one in my place but the people downstairs confirm they have seen the proof ot it, turd. Did you know that siIverfish droppings can look like mice droppings? Well that is what i've read. Iv'e seen that in my place but no mice yet. Certainly I can relate to your problem.
@locomotiv - I knew I wasn't crazy. I'm not kidding people act like it's nothing, no big deal. Well sorry it was terrifying. I still have the tea bags in all the drawers and still spray the mint stuff sometimes, just in case. I know HE or THEY are gone. Orkin assured me, they didn't touch their poison and no droppings, but come fall, trust me this place will smell like a Christmas tree on crack. Even if they have no way in anymore. And even if the mint doesn't work.
This post had me laughing. So funny. I'd tell ya to get a cat for the mice, but I have two cats, neighbor has six and we both have gofers tearing up our yard! So much for the whole cat will catch a rodent theory. Happy Belated Birthday.
@comet555 - Oh no, I had a cat they bring them as presents, nope hated that idea too.
You forgot to mention how Matt and I both felt we had been poisened as we stepped into your overly-minty apartment!
@sincerely_jennie - yeah,true
Poor Laura....but Funny!
@dianestickler - thank you
well, i must say, having been around farms during the formative years of my life, pig shit is especially fowl! you didn't do it justice in your description. so i understand the disgust.
hey, you lucky lady to have friends that care about you enough to remember your birthday AND take you out! cherish the love!
mice. ugh! we've been doing battle with them since we moved into this house, almost 2 years. idk why they haven't gotten the hint they are not welcome! we have used steel wool. but we have traps. it is so sad. but hey, it's not like they weren't warned! (husband recently found a hole outside to plug and we haven't seen one since. however, they are crafty little devils! next winter will be the real test.)
When we moved into this house, it had been sitting empty for a while.. in town, but still, the critters know there is no one around!!! And one day I open the pantry cabinet and there is ramen and pasta EVERYWHERE. Monkey has never had a mouse, he's a city person ya know...
So I go down to the feed store (I do not know if you have those there, but I would assume there is at least ONE since there is a pig shit farm within driving distance)... and they have "bar bait" for mice and it does not make them smell... Sometimes its in a bar type form, sometimes its granules... but read the package, or ask a worker, there are poisons that cause them to run away (into the wall or away far away) and die, and then they dehydrate FAST, so there is no smell...
I say run away to die, because once my dad got some different poison and it made them come OUT into the floor and die... ACK.
Anyhoo... I put the poison out and haven't seen any evidence of another mouse. No droppings, no chewed packages, no dead bodies.
@coletteatsea - Yes I know I didn't do the pig poop justice because umm ewww, I'll puke seriously i was goo gross.
Yes, I know, I love my friends honestly, very luckyTry the mint, I do think it held them at bay.
@BubblysLife - orkin put the not smelling poison out, no takers. I think they are gone, oh please let them be gone lol. And no, these people, the pig people, go to Wisconsin for all their farm crap.
I've watched videos on raccoon infestations and you certainly would not choose them over mice infestations. However a loud radio seems to be the solution to drive those bandits away....
Pig feces is probably way grosser than human feces but still for sure don't step in neither stuff....
I was doing some superficial plumbing. I just plungered the stuff, rinsed and put soap in the drain until maybe tomorrow I will return to real plumbing snake the drain cleaning....
@PPhilip - humm, well the mice are gone so no worries
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