September 4, 2011

  • FWD or else

    So we have all gotten them, the FWD in 2 sec. #Emails/#chain letters and get millions of dollars or die a horrible death.

    This always puts me in a quandary.  I can die, after starvation and thirst and then spontaneously combust into flames and then be thrown in an ocean and drown. Or I could have money coming in like I just opened the money flood gates.

    Not that I believe these Emails, because in the past none of these has happened, even though I definitely sent it to 10 people within 10 min. while jumping up and down, and singing home on the range.  

    And I'm pretty sure it never worked for other people either, and if did I'm pissed.

    If you are my supposed friend or relative that actually started to have money trees grow in your back yard as a result of sending me the stressful Email, you need to share.

    You are the one, who made me think things like the following

    " Well this is bullshit, just delete" Then I stare at the part that says, delete and be VERY sorry"  Damn, I don't want to die by getting chopped up in a wood chip thing. And I am broke"  Well of course that won't happen, but what if it does?  How hard is it to send this? Besides it's a nice message about how this poor kid in Africa crawled a million miles with no legs to his mother in another village.  It's not like I'm passing on porn. And what about the poor Aids, Cancer, burn victim, who will get 1 cent every time you forward?  What about them? I don't want them to die, penniless. I mean I know this has been going around for 15 years, but still. It could be true. Sure I'm pissed off at ____ who sent it to me, so people will be mad at me too, but wow, wood chipper? " I mean do I REALLY want to risk the .1 % of this happening?  I need to find people on my Email list who won't get angry or I don't care if they are."  " Oh, here's one, I never talk to them, who cares, they can sit and wring their hands over this, now to find 9 more losers"  " Wait, did ____ think I was a loser when they sent it to ME?" " Omg, I'm obviously not on the nice and don't mind these stupid Emails list, so I must be on the I don't care if I annoy them list"  " How hurtful, I thought we were friends" " Well, next time they send me one of those you are my friend, send it back to show that I am your friend too, guess what?"  " They aren't getting anything back" NOTHING.  They can sit and wonder why too.  


     

    So if this person is not sharing their new found enormous wealth with me, I think we need to break it off as friends.  I mean seriously! You are going to make me have to worry about whether or not I should forward this stupid Email and then you are not even sharing the big bucks you got by forwarding it to me?  I mean I would share my part of the the pot, even with people who got the Email because they were on my " I don't really like you list". And guess what jerk?  When you say " I usually don't send these but...? F#$K you, I just got one from you last week and the week before.

    Sometimes, you don't get money straight out, you get years of good or bad luck, love or die with no one, or a free tour of Willy Wanka's Chocolate Factory, or you become allergic to all things that taste good.

    Either way, it's a risk I don't want to take.  

    But to be honest, if you really like me, please don't send those pieces of crap Emails to me anymore that I am forced to forward.  I understand you are in the same position as me, but take me off your lists, I am on to the game. And truthfully, I think that girl with no face, who lives in an orphanage has more money than me, or they are no longer a girl, but a faceless grandmother.

     


    Comment, rec, and facebook like this post or your flesh will rot and and you will die with your 500 cats and if you think walking under a ladder is bad, try ignoring this warning.

     

     My Photo signature's for today

     



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