June 3, 2012

• Warning: This blog is all about me

  I know, I'm a tease, stop in, disappear, I guess I just don't need a xanga fix as much as I used to.

   Update on the dog, new vet, yes you read that right, new meds. He's fine, except when he's not.  No rhyme or reason when he decides to cry all day, or not.  I have basically given up.  Howl away, the neighbor needs to get a job.  Seriously, they don't even have kids, or a dog.    

  I am having major insomnia, which is why I am writing this at 1:18 am. my time.  I'll probably change the time stamp, because I am insecure and need lots of xanga love, even though I never come on here and never go to other people's blogs.

  So I decided I was unhappy with my life, and I did some soul searching, after which I decided I had major blocks as far as moving forward in my life.  Basically, I psychoanalyzed myself and decided this was all due to my having a learning disability, which apparently I don't have.  What I have is " a sluggish processing issue."  I found this out because I forced myself to get retested and get 2012 results.  Last results were in the early 80's.  I figured they have learned new ways to label people, and I was tired of the old one.

  The real psychologist thought it would be a boost to my self esteem to tell me I'm slow rather than saying I have a learning disability.  Humm, ok????  I thought for sure I had ADD, but no, I am just slow.  But she recommended Aderal anyway, which is supposed to speed up my slow brain. Unfortunately, it just gives me anxiety attacks and dry mouth.

   Did I mention I have SEVERE anxiety and depression?  She figured this out by analyzing my answers on a billion question quiz.  This is the kind of quiz where they ask the same questions over again, but in different words. For example, " do you want to throw yourself off a ten story building?"  and "do you fantasize about drinking a bottle of bleach and slitting your throat?"  

  I knew they were doing that, even though I'm slow, which isn't the same as being MR (short hand for mentally retarded.)  My results clearly said no MR.  Anyway, I caught on to the game right away, even though I'm slow.  If I answered often to the building question, I had to answer often to the bleach question.  Now who's slow? HA! So, like I said, I have added Aderal to my plethora of medications and I'm sure my liver is thanking me for it.  I used a big word ( plethora) just to prove I am NOT slow.  That word just came to me, quickly.   

  I hope I used it in the right context.

  Recommendations, aside from the meds, see a shrink immediately, and join a group, like climbing club, so I don't drink the bleach.  

  I don't know why she thinks I have social issues, I answered all the "I have tons of friends and I love being with people questions" as often.

   Again, humm.  

   I am still waiting for her recommendations on what Dr. I should be seeing.  Apparently she isn't that concerned with my SEVERE depression and anxiety, because that was weeks ago and I have not heard a thing. 

  Actually, she may have figured out the depression/anxiety thing without the quiz. I think it may have been obvious when I started crying and bitting my nails before the test was even administered.  

  That's because even though I initiated the test, it freaked me out for no reason.  Well not for NO reason, but almost.

  Work related news: I was completely ostracized by the other " para professionals."  With the exception of one other coworker, who also has his " head really far up the bosses ass,"  I am hated by all.  Apparently, me and the other brown noser get special treatment.  Which is why we are staying at "Safeway" while the rest of them are being farmed out to the REAL high schools in the district. That's right bitches have fun with the NO smoke breaks and having to accompany some wheel chair bound girl to the bathroom.  I'll keep my head right where it is thank you.

   I'm not used to being on the outs though.  As I said, I'm really pretty social and have always been popular with other weird people, so I kind of got my feelings hurt.  Not that I actually liked any of them.  I am just used to them liking me and me being fake and then talking behind their backs.  

  Due to my "special" relationship with the boss I am also employed this summer, until July. I know right? Big deal.

   I am with the older bad boys, the in between a kid and adult boys, for the SUMMER which ends in July.  One kid was three classes short of graduating, so we tried to rush him through with his home school work. In order to do this, I basically had to finish some of his assignments.  One was an essay for world religion class.  Which is ironic, since it was major cheating.  I got a 90 on the essay I wrote.  That kind of pissed me off.  The LD test said I have SUPERIOR writing skills.  Superior is at least a 95.  Plus he told the "Safeway" teacher, the essay was outstanding.  Outstanding is 95 or above.  Jerk.  

  It is now 2:37 am.  You wouldn't have known that since I am going to time stamp it when I repost later.  Anyway, you may think that is an indication of being slow, but you would be wrong.  I took a break.  If you are reading this off Facebook, or because I mass Emailed you and begged, you probably don't get the whole time stamp thing, and I'm too tired to explain.  The one person from Xanga who reads this will know and that's all that matters.

  I have no idea why the font keeps changing on me, it's annoying.  

  I'm rambling now because I am too old to pull an all nighter.   

  If you are still reading, get over it.  I am having a creative stream of consciousness.  

  Not really, but still.

  Ok, I'll wrap this up, since I not even making sense to myself.  I will leave you with pictures of  the dog, because he's cute.

  See you all in a few months.

  
  

  

  attack pose

  

  Little kids at the dog park always want to hold him because he's like a little teddy bear.

   

   

  

  

  

  

  He is so cute I can barley stand it!  The people who clean the condo common areas call him lamb chop.  If you are old like me you will remember that show Sherry Lewis and lamb chop.  

  

  Fitting huh?

  • 2:27 pm
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