After much debate and thought, I have decided to join the ranks of the righteous! First I wanted to make sure I was supporting the correct traditional marriage.  Being a newbie, I wasn't really sure what I was supporting so I went to the Bible.  

I looked into supporting men and women being married. Must be same race, Wives are subordinate and the marriages are often arranged. Genesis 2:24

husband, wife, AND sonless widow, genesis 38:6-10

New husband a fat ass loser, sorry widow above, you must submit to him sexually.  TRADITION, ( singing song from Fiddler on the roof)

Rapist and victim marriage as described in Deuteronomy 22-28-29 ( my dad will appreciate the 50  shekels he will get)

And of course the man + many wives and concubines ( throughout old testament.) THAT is as traditional as you get, yet...

Maybe they don't mean that maybe they mean TRADITIONAL U.S.A. marriage.  Not sure what that is exactly either.

so I did some research and found this

For most of history, the subordination of wives to husbands was enforced by law and custom. As late as the 1960s, American legal codes assigned differing marital rights and obligations by gender. The husband was legally responsible for supporting the family financially, but he also got to decide what constituted an adequate level of support, how to dispose of family property, and where the family would live. The wife was legally responsible for providing services in and around the home, but she had no comparable rights to such services.

That is why a husband could sue for loss of consortium if his spouse was killed or incapacitated, but a wife in the same situation could not. And because sex was one of the services expected of a wife, she could not charge her husband with rape.

Well that sounds traditional but I'm sure they don't mean that.  so looking further... 

By the 1920s, 38 states prohibited whites from marrying blacks, “mulattos,” Japanese, Chinese, Indians, “Mongolians,” “Malays” or Filipinos. Twelve states would not issue a marriage license if one partner was a drunk, an addict or a “mental defect.” Eighteen states set barriers to remarriage after divorce.

Ok, THAT was a small unfortunate part of our history, that isn't what I am to support I'm sure.

I ask someone and they basically describe the marriages of Ward and June on Leave it to Beaver and that nice couple on Father Knows Best.  I personally don't know ANY not one person who comes from families like that for real, but ok?

I sure as hell, I mean heck ( I'm being traditional) don't want to support the tradition where women had almost no rights once they became married and were considered property of their husbands. 

ladies, truth be told there was no "headache" excuse back in the day, he wants it you better give it up!  But Ward and June had separate beds which is really as it should be.

I am NOT supporting any families where there was ANY dysfunction although you GAY supporters may think THAT is traditional.  No Alcoholism, no child abuse ( even the kind that wasn't considered abuse then, like pulling down the pants of kids and literally beating their ass.) No child sexual abuse.  

No, cheating spouses, no depression, no working mom homes, no single mom homes unless husband died and they hurry and remarry, no divorced homes.  No spousal abuse, no unemployed adults, no poor people, no verbal abuse, no drug abuse, no premarital pregnancies, 

No black, or Jewish families.

No yelling.  No name calling.  No crying ( or very little and it must be over a small mistake like being caught in a white lie)

 

I will support only WASP families like in the sitcoms.  If you had any problems other than having a friend who kisses up to your parents but then is kind of mean to your little brother after commercial, forget it!  And your mom better have worn a dress and pearls daily!  Dad better have a nice briefcase and come home after a hard day doing some white colar job of unknown origins  and be served a hot dinner of fat and artery clogging sides.

In fact I say bring back the fat!  I want traditional meals to come back as well.  Red meat!  Mashed potatoes and gravy!  Peas that get put in napkins.  

Change and growth are bad.  I have seen the light.  I have the right to tell people how to live and I will not allow the destruction of the US. 

Letting blacks and whites marry was a huge mistake, but we won't compound that with the gays.

I need to wrap this up, off to stone my daughter for many,many, infractions.

 later

 

     It's summer, a beautiful day.  I am at my friend's home, the three of us have just gotten back from the park with our dogs.  We let them off leash so they are tired as is one of my friends who ran all over the park with them.  Their home, a loft, is beautiful.  One of the most beautiful homes I have ever been in.  They are making me dinner, grilling.  I am offered some iced tea which one of my friends is super proud of, although I'm not sure why.  I am taking photos of the dogs, because they are adorable.  

As one of my friends makes a great salad, my other friend is working on the burgers on the grill.  I am not helping and am comfortable enough to not even offer.  They nurture me, and I let them.  I start to dose off on their couch.  Such a comfortable couch, I know even if I buy the same one it could never be as comfortable.  It's kind of warm though and one of my friends asks me to convince the other to turn the air up.  It drives this friend nuts how warm the house is kept and they feel bad for the dog.  It's not that hot but I see where they are coming from, it would be nice to have it a couple degrees cooler.

We have dinner and when I am not yelling at my dog to go lay down and quit begging, we are laughing.  A lot.  My friends have my sense of humor, so I think we are all very funny.  If something painful comes up, in regards to me, they make me laugh and build me up.  They have fed me, and they are so nurturing emotionally.  I need this.  The dogs have given into sleep and we remark how sweet they are, even though earlier I wanted to throw mine off the balcony.  

Once in awhile they might mention something that is just between them.  Clean laundry, Schedules, a dentist appointment on tuesday,  needing to go to the grocery store. They have been watching old Dick Van Dyke Show episodes and I ask if they have seen the Danny Thomas ones yet.  They have not.  I tell them, those are some of the best.  I make fun of them for being so young and me for being so old. 

There is no booze. At least not this night.  Sometimes we have wine or something. There is no discussion of sex, unless we are talking about a particular, promiscuous student.  One of my friends is a teacher.    The other is an artist, fashion designer, textile genius, and more .  Their work space is all of the upstairs and I have just seen what they are working on and it's beautiful and cool.  I feel like my cool factor goes up by being friends with them.  They are both interesting, and educated and SO smart.

There are very subtle displays of affection, a hand on an arm when passing the other, leaning in slightly when looking over the others shoulders to see something on the computer.  I am told the dog gets jealous if hugs are exchanged and I don't say they shouldn't give in to that because they can raise their dog however they want.

When I am with this couple it is like a boring sitcom. Comforting, but no drama, not much excitement  In fact this blog so far is pretty boring, I'm sure.  

They are my gay friends.  They are friends in the truest sense of the word.  They both listen, they don't interrupt. They don't judge.  They really listen.  They look at me when I speak, they pause before they respond, and almost always say the right thing.

Neither has told me they want or need to be legally wed. Of course they are all about the equality thing, but I have no idea if they would take advantage of that or not if they could.

Honestly, when I am with them they seem to be more concerned with me and my health and well being which is always in question.

sadly though, not all my friends are like minded.  And especially with facebook, and being friends with some who really are not my friends, conflicts have arisen.  I am hearing things that actually infuriate me.   

Facebook and the internet have so many benefits and yet, there are downfalls to be sure.  In the real world I can know that someones views differ from mine but we try not to go there.  On facebook, people, and I am one, put it all out there.  And so you get to hear how people really feel.  And some of it is upsetting

Things I am hearing that upset me.

1) Omg, I am so sick of the gay thing, can everyone quit talking about it.

2) The bible says ____ 

3) God made Adam and Eve... 

4) slippery slope, next thing you know people will want to marry their dog.

5) it's unnatural

6) They want to force their agenda on everyone.  

7) we can't change the traditional view of marriage.

8) harm to children

and worse!!!!!!

Words are Powerful.  We are talking about REAL people.  And they read these things.  Are people aware that in Nazi Germany, it didn't go from level one, Jews were fine, had businesses and families and the next day they were thrown in ovens. It started with some anti-semitism, then some propaganda, then laws etc... it started with words and attitude. 

    Are people aware that arguments about alleged harm to children, unnaturalness of the unions, importance of tradition... were all used to support the importance of Whites not marrying non-whites?

  People are still trying to make it about sex and try and portray any gay relationship as involving illicit sex and therefore not worthy of being condoned in holy matrimony.

  Did you know People used to insist that interracial marriage was sinful and contrary to the Bible?

 

Gay people are discriminated against in many ways, not just with this issue.  

However, since we have evolved as a society ( sort of ) most people are APPALLED when they hear arguments that were made against whites and blacks marrying.  Let me give you some parallels.

Interracial marriage runs counter to God's plan:
“Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and he
placed them on separate continents. And but for the interference with his
arrangement there would be no cause for such marriages. The fact that he
separated the races shows that he did not intend for the races to mix.”
(Source: Virginia trial judge upholding conviction of Mildred and Richard
Loving for interra

 

“The amalgamation of the races is not only unnatural, but is always
productive of deplorable results. The purity of the public morals, the moral
and physical development of both races, and the highest advancement of
civilization . . . all require that [the races] should be kept distinctly separate,
and that connections and alliances so unnatural should be prohibited by
positive law and subject to no evasion.”
(Source: Dissenting California Supreme Court Justice objecting to that
Court's decision striking down a state law ban on interracial ma

Persons wishing to enter into interracial marriages come from the “dregs of
society.”
(Source: Advocates in favor of California's ban on interracial marriage,
quoted in Perez v. Lippold, 198 P.2d at 25)
If we allow “gay marriage,” then the next thing you
know we'll have brothers and sisters wanting to
marry each other, or demands for legalization of
polygamous marriages.
(Source: Vermont House and Senate Judiciary
Committee Public Hearings, 1/25/00, 2/1/00)
“[If interracial couples have a right to marry], al

“[If interracial couples have a right to marry], all our marriage acts forbidding
intermarriage between persons within certain degrees of consanguinity are
void.”
(Source: Perez v. Lippold, 198 P.2d at 40 (Shenk, J., dissenting, quoting
from a prior court case))
“The underlying factors that constitute justification for laws against
miscegenation closely parallel those which sustain the validity of prohibitions
against incest and incestuous marriages.”
(Source: Perez v. Lippold, 198 P.2d at 46 (Shenk, J., dissenting, quoting
from a prior court case))
“[T]he State's prohibition of interracial marriage . . . stands on the same
footing
as the prohibition of polygamous marriage, or incestuous marriage, or
the prescription of minimum ages at which people may
marry, and the prevention of the marriage of people who are mentally
incompetent.”
(Source: Excerpted United States Supreme Court oral argument
transcripts from Loving v. Virginia, from Peter Irons and Stephanie Guitton,
eds., May it Please the Court (1993) at 282-283, quoting Virginia Assistant
Attorney General R.

“Each [party seeking to marry a member of a different race] has the right
and the privilege of marrying within his or her own group.”
(Source: Perez v. Lippold,

I am guessing and hoping people read this and are shocked. Almost no one believes this anymore. Do they?  

Words are powerful.  Words are hurtful.  These are people.  Some good, some bad.  

"I'm not a homophobe, I just follow the bible or I'm fine with the gays as long as they keep it to themselves.  Why can't they just stay in the closet like they used to?"  If you don't hear the ignorance of these statements then I'm sad for you.  But I am sadder for my friends, who deserve to be seen as they are.  

Two of the finest, most moral, human beings I have ever known.  Be mindful when you post comments on people's posts.  Think of who may be reading.  Think before you speak or write.  

Words are powerful.

 

 

 

Yeah, I almost used the whole F word right now, but then didn't.

 Mrs. Alexandra was my eighth grade home Ec. teacher and also my home room teacher, which if I remember correctly was in the cafeteria.  Or maybe it was seventh grade, either way, between her and Mr. Panzella the chorus teacher ( who years later was fired due to being found guilty of molesting his daughter), I got a lot of detentions.  But that isn't why I am angry with Mrs. Alexandra some 43 years after seeing her for the last time.  I am angry with her because I am excellent in wood shop class.  

Have I lost you yet?  I am in wood shop class by proxy because the boys I work with are in woods and I can supervise for three hours or participate.  And while it's true the woods teacher is used to teaching kids with an IQ of 2 and also kids who have autism and other disorders, I think the patronizing tone while I cut wood is purely coincidental. And it's also true I have almost lost a digit or two, and there have been some eye rolling ( even from the teacher that works at Safeway with me), I still think I found my niche.  And yes, one boy continually says my box sucks, I don't know how to sand, and the reason the oil isn't sticking is because I have globs of glue all over it, I still think my box is pretty good.  Evidence of good box ( with artsy blue tint)

   Now after seeing this masterpiece you may be wondering what that has to do with Mrs. Alexander and Home EC.  You need to be patient I'm getting to that part.

I don't remember too much about the cooking part of home EC. except we made lasagna once and it was really good.

I do remember the sewing part though.  In particular two items.  Pants and a stuffed animal.  My pants were great and I didn't need much material because that was pre development and I looked like I was five and I think I was still in size 6x.  Despite that, the sewing machine and I had issues and unfortunately my pants fell apart in the first wash. The pants were high wasted bell bottoms and made of faux denim. I had enough material left over to make my stuffed animal faux denim too and I thought it was very cool.  I'm not sure that I would have chosen to do an elephant since that is clearly harder than a bear, so I am assuming Mrs.  Alexander forced me to make an elephant. which is very mean when she knew I had issues with the pants.

I learned sewing on the machine is  kind of like driving and I had some problems with speeding and steering which did not fare well for the faux, jean, elephant.  Anyway, even though I had to unthread so many times it caused rips and even though it was the saddest looking elephant one could imagine, and may have looked like a deformed bear, I fell in love with it.

I don't remember my grade.  Hopefully Mrs. Alexander saw the effort and at least gave me a c, but I doubt it. She was mean and clearly, I should have been in shop class.

This was back when women's lib was really at it's peak, but it still scared me and I thought of it as a lesbian takeover and I wanted no part.

I was comfortable with defined gender roles although I knew I would have to marry money since sewing and cleaning were not among my skill sets. I didn't end up marrying money, I married expunge and now I'm divorced and poor. but I made him lasagna and he liked it a lot and it was not one of the meals, like hamburger helper, that got criticized. And I guess I should thank Mrs. Alexander for that but I'm still too angry.

Having said that, and even though shop was not an option for girls, I think Mrs. Alexander should have recognized that would have been a class I could shine in.

Instead she forced me to make a faux, jean elephant, that I fell in love with, knowing it would die and make me feel really bad.  I created the elephant so it was like loosing a child and honestly I am still dealing with the after effects.

She also did give me a lot of detentions and I now think my mother was in on it because it happened in home room almost daily, and that is where I let my friend Tish help me break two big rules my mother had given me.

1) no make up

2) never wear other peoples makeup

Since rule one was obviously going to be broken, I had to break rule two as well since I didn't have my own make up.

My mother knew wearing others make up, especially eye makeup, could cause eye problems, since that's when I had such bad eczema inside my arms, my pe. teacher thought I shot herion. ( the scratched rash looked like track marks)

Anyway, when Tish would be laying on the bright blue eye shadow which would later cause weird, crusty. eye infections, Mrs. Alexander would decide to find reasons to give us detentions.  

Talking, ( duh talking was necessary because Tish would tell me not to forget to wash it last period because I got caught last time and my mother acted like I had put acid in my eye). Also, it was homeroom, really no talking first thing in the morning of 7th or 8th grade?  Girls?  Unrealistic!

My mother was very critical of Tish's make up artistry and said the blue eye shadow looked ridiculous.   And it may have, looked ridiculous I mean, since, blue eyeshadow is dumb and I looked like I was five with lots of blue eye shadow and possibly crusty, eye infections

She also gave me a double detention, I seriously think she made that up with Mr. Panzela who I kind of don't think molested his daughter, but do think was mean to his wife because he was a mean teacher.  She gave me a double detention for chewing gum, while getting my daily makeover from Tish, on the same day Tish and I got back from being suspended for smoking. And really she should have known my mom would freak out and say I had a severe problem with rules, when honestly I just didn't see why chewing gum was bad.

Ok, Mrs. Alexander, maybe I wouldn't have been great in shop but I definitely should have gotten an A+ on my solo in chorus, which wasn't your fault unless you and Mr. Panzella, and my mom all discussed the eye shadow and thought a good punishment would be to ruin my singing career.

The point is I am holding a grudge and I am also going to post this on Tish's  facebook wall as a stroll down memory lane.  And I want my mom to apologize about the make up rule, when I read porn and wasn't punished and that seems way worse than blue eye shadow. Even if she was right and I did have allergies and probably shouldn't have worn Tish's cheap ( sorry Tish) blue eye shadow.

And also, if my dad reads this he should have really intervened and told that school to stop giving detentions for no reason. 

 And yes, I am aware this blog is sort of all over the place and it seems my anger towards Mrs. Alexander is misplaced.  But I have my reasons for writing it and for writing it this way.  And it's probably rude to tell anyone kind enough to read this that it is none of their business why I chose this style and subject, it really isn't any of your business. So...

Until next time.