The Crime : making an illegal left turn into a gas station that had no customers in the middle of the day.

The Cop:  Stereotypical jerk.

The cop informs me that going to court will cost me WAY more money, but if I take the online safety class, I will only pay $105.00 AND will be on supervision.  So even though my friends tell me going to court is way better, cheaper, AND you still get supervision, I believe the cop.

I won't make that mistake again.


Day one, hour one, of the Online Safety class is not bad.  I got to play a couple games like Wheel of Speed and Tic Tac Collision.  Good times, got full allotted points, AND I figured out how to skip two boring video's and click next before they started.  


I learn that I have until the end of September to finish Online Safety School, so of course I quit after hour one and don't look at it again until late Sunday night.  I have approximately 4 hours left.

Lets just say those 4 hours got old really fast.  


First, they didn't even mix up the games, same games, different questions.  What's up with that?  I thought I would play Are you Smarter than a Drunk Driver?  And maybe some Family Road Rage. 



I could no longer skip the videos no matter how hard I tried to click next.


I would finish reading skimming the page, but the monotonous voice on the page ( who reads to you out loud) took longer than our low level readers at work!


You can't move on, click next, until he's done.  


Also, I know I did a "bad" thing.  I committed  a crime, I made an illegal left turn, into a gas station, even though the sign was NOT clearly posted.  I can accept that, and I paid for it.  Well, okay, my mom sent me the money, but still...


I think it's really unfair that I had to answer trick questions about speeding and taking cold medication while driving, when I didn't do those things.  I mean yes, I have done those things in the past, but I think one hour of lecturing on illegal left turns would have been sufficient.  In fact, in the whole five hour class I think illegal left turns was mentioned once.  It may have not even be mentioned at all.


Monotonous man was condescending.  I can read all by myself and am hopeful that all licensed drivers can also read.  I don't need to be told that I shouldn't get in the car after fighting with my ex husband, crying, taking two Xanax, and drinking a bottle of wine.  


And the chances of me counting three seconds to make sure I have enough space between the driver in front of me and myself, are pretty slim.  I'm sorry monotonous man, it's just not going to happen.

I have some suggestions for the class too.  New games, simulated crashes that you can maneuver yourself.   Free booze with every class so that you can then play DUI, and see how it affects your reaction time.  Maybe some Sims like characters that you can make have road rage and you can see what happens when you don't put the baby in the car seat.  That would make the whole class worth it.  

As it stands I would have to give the class 1 and a half stars. 



I did learn one valuable lesson after the five hour online safety class, and that is


Next time I'll go to court!

When I first heard that Paula was whoring for more money on Idol and then got screwed over, I was surprisingly sad.  Yeah, she bugged the crap out of me, but not as much as the new girl who thinks she's the hottest thing since Tamales. Cara, Kara, whatever.  And come on, Paula is an American Idol staple. 

 I was going to miss her incoherent sentences and blubbering.  Who would Simon roll his eyes at and visibly cringe when she spoke? 

It would be like dropping that Mary Murphy screecher on So You Think You Can Dance.  Some things are better left untouched. 

If anything I would have wanted them to dump Randy.  Sorry, but the guy just does not do it for me anymore.  He's just kind of there.  I need to be entertained beyond the singers and he has not cut the mustard for awhile now.  At least Paula kept me amused.

I couldn't imagine who they were going to get, Ozzy Osborn?  Lindsay Lohn?  Her career needs a boost.  AND either she or Brittany Spears could do a good pill popping thing and it wouldn't feel like Paula was gone at all.

Imagine how thrilled I was to wake up this morning and learn MY GIRL ELLEN was replacing Paula.  OMG, I love Ellen!!!! 

Granted she was a little out of her element on So You Think You Can Dance, but seriously, sitting by the screecher and the pmsing short hair lady, probably threw her off.  And she did have a couple laugh out loud moments, so I forgave her.

I am upset that the audition rounds have been taped with no Ellen and with not funny people like Victoria Beckman.

I mean lets face it, the bad singers in audition rounds are getting old, Ellen would have been the perfect breath of fresh air. 

I would have loved to hear  " F#$#% ( beep) Ellen man, I can sing"

But we can't have everything. 

So goodbye Paula, have a nice life, bottoms up and cheers.  Hello Ellen, I am looking forward to laughing with you. 

PS.  As you all can probably guess, my new favorite show, Glee, makes me giddy with excitment!

 Years ago I belonged to a book club that I joined in the old neighborhood.  Now, I love this neighborhood in so many ways, but some of the women there are throw backs to some era I wasn't even born into.

And when I belonged to book club there wasn't a lot of diversity in the neighborhood.  Basically I was the token Jew.

 No matter what book or topic we get on, I am the resident expert on all things Jewish, whether it be The Old Testament (  I know about as much as I remember from 1st grade Sunday school), Hebrew ( sorry Hebrew school drop out), history of the Jewish people ( umm NO!) .   Even if the book has nothing to do with religion or culture, it always came back to my being Jewish.

 They also acted like I am related to every Jewish  person alive or dead " Laura, do you know Adam Sandler?"    One woman was so shocked that I ate a ham roll up.  Actually, appalled would be a better word.

The following is NOT a real conversation at book club, however it is very close to the truth and having said that I can not be accused of lying like the guy who wrote A Million Little Pieces.

Ethal:  Well ladies what did you all think about the book?  Laura you must have found page 75 fascinating!

Me:  ( turning to page 75 )  No, what is on this page, I don't remember this sticking out in my mind why?

Broomhilda:  Oh yes, Laura,  I marked that page off so I would remember to ask you a question.  Now she is eating lox in this passage, that's a Jewish food right?

Me:  What? I guess.  What? Wait, was that supposed to be the fascinating part? The lox?  Sorry I'm confused? ( still skimming 75 trying to find the part I was supposed to be fascinated with).

Midge:   Lox is like that other Jewish fish right, kafilthy fish?

Me:  It's Gefilte fish, and I am sorry I'm lost here,  I did want to comment on something in the book though,

  I thought the relationship between Lisa and Tom was indicative of how society has changed in the last fifty years.

Alice:   Yes I agree,  When I was a little girl I actually knew a Jewish girl and she went to church with our family one day.  Well, let me tell you, her parents got so upset because our pastor told her the truth, you know, that she was going to hell.   So I thought it was great that Tom took Lisa to the church, although I was hoping Lisa would accept Jesus into her heart.

Me:  Humm, OK, I don't think Tom took her to the church to convert her, they were going to a wedding.

Lenora:  Laura, your people don't go to church right?

Diane:  No, they go to Temple or synagogue, we are so off topic here, the different faiths of Tom and Lisa didn't have anything to do with the plot or story line.  And what's with the talk about fish?  What does that have to do with anything?

Janis:  Now Diane calm down,  I think book club is more than just discussing the book.  I personally love when Laura can share her heritage and faith with us.  It's nice to learn about other people.  I admit to knowing very little about Jews.  It's OK to call you Jews right? Things have to be so PC. now a days The other day I called " my girl"  colored and my daughter was so upset.

Frieda:  OK, OK girls lets get to the racy parts  (giggling) I highlighted pg. 82 that was steamy!  But Laura,  I did have a question for you.

Me: shoot.

Frieda:  Now, Harry was clearly a good lover  (giggling again) but I thought Jewish men, well you know?

Me: no what?

Frieda:  Well, they have that ritual for baby boys, it's like OUR circumcision but they take more off right?  I mean don't they have a priest, no, not a priest, a Rabbi, yes that's it a Rabbi,  he comes and does something to the baby boy's you know what?  No, it's not a Rabbi, it's a mole, that's it a mole, he comes and the ritual, it's a Bross, no brist, no brass, oh never mind, my point is when the mole cuts it all off I would think that would hinder his, shall we say performance. ( laughs really hard).

Me:  Oh look at the time, it's been great ladies but I really have to go.

Alice: no, please don't go I got theme food in honor of the book,  I got bagels and matzoh and I thought we could all try a little lox.

Broomhilda:  Lox that's a Jewish food right?

I don't go to book club anymore, and I rarely have to explain to people why we can't take off eight days of work for Hanukkah, although I personally think that would be great.

At least I'm not Muslim, " So Laura, your people kill other people right?"

 

 

 

http://momofjenmatt.blogspot.com/

I want to try this again.  I may post in both places.  I probably won't get any action over there but I want to try.
Please come visit me there.

Don't eat. 
Well unless you absolutely have to.
 Okay, here's the thing fellow fatties, we have all been on every diet known to man and we are still fat.  Now many of you are going to say you don't even eat that much but you are still overweight.  Lets cut the crap, shall we?  Have you ever noticed how skinny people eat?  Let me give you an example. 

Me = fat

My mom = skinny

Mom has had an apple and a grape so far

I have had a whopper with cheese, large fries and a diet coke.  I did not have breakfast as I am not hungry in the am.

Mom and I are at a restaurant for dinner, both order steak, mashed potatoes and broccoli.  Both bring home doggy bags but moms is much bigger.  Still fat me thinks " well I didn't finish either, I have a doggy bag too."  This is called rationalizing your fatness.

11:00 pm.  I go to the fridge and microwave my left overs and proceed to have a second dinner in front of the TV.  Mom leaves hers in the fridge for a week and then offers it to me when I come over,  I finish hers in front of the TV.

A couple hours later we go out to lunch, mom and I both have big lunches but mom has popcorn for dinner.  I have a big dinner because I didn't have breakfast and the steak leftover didn't really count because it was closer to lunch time.  Again rationalizing your fatness. 

Now we have all heard that crap about you have to eat to get your metabolism going etc.. 

" I'll have the large fries, to give my metabolism a little boost"  Have you ever seen a starving person?  I mean seriously, starving people are thin, why?  They don't eat.  They are not having a hearty breakfast to jump start things. 

Please don't get on my case and say I am promoting Anorexia, because truthfully, I am the anti-rexic.
I am just saying.  You don't have to take that over the counter stuff that makes you poop in your pants when you eat?

You don't have to calculate the fat ratio to the carbs and subtract the calories and add the fiber but subtract the sugar unless it is the good kind.  Who has time for that???? 

Who can stick to that?  On my Miracle Diet, if you are not skinny, as in five pounds below a Dr. recommended goal weight, guess what?  You can't have it. 

Now if you are really dizzy and you are now reduced to tears AND the food you hate most in the world sounds really good, you are allowed to eat.  However, it must be the food you hate most in the world. 

If I am really THAT hungry, I can eat the liver and onions.  Right?  I bet if I offered liver and onions to a starving person in Africa they would eat it!!!

So if you are not hungry enough to eat the food you hate the most, you are not that hungry.

It's that simple. No counting, no measuring, just plain old fashioned fasting.

 Now when you get to the five pounds below the Dr. recommended goal weight, you should NOT go lower.  Going lower is an indication that you are becoming Anorexic and that is BAD.  As I stated, I like skinny, but we don't need to take it too far.

In order to maintain this weight, you can eat half of a meal a day and keep the rest as left overs, until the fur is growing on it,  at that time you can push it on unsuspecting guests.   You may also eat five grapes, half a bag of popcorn with butter ( so your fat friends will be jealous and think you have a better metabolism than them), AND a cookie.  This is your daily food intake. 

Or

You can have three bites of a turkey sandwich and then announce that you are stuffed.  You then pat your concave tummy that you are trying to push out and say " I shouldn't of had that?" You may do this three times a day with any food.  You can also have a couple grapes, 1 slice of an apple, and a half a piece of cheese.  You can have one cookie or brownie and even 1/4 a cup of ice cream ( skip the grapes that day).

Your fat friends will see you eating a cookie, and putting butter on the popcorn and they'll be amazed.  They will see you eating an entire big mac and still be skinny.  Of course they don't realize that this is the only thing you have really eaten in a week. 

On my Miracle Diet, you will be very hungry.  But you will be the skinny one, the one who can "eat anything " and still be thin. 

When you are with your fat friends you can say things like "  OMG, I hear you with the weight thing, I had to lie down just to zip my size ones up today." 

Or you can say "  I wish I was your size, your boobs are so big and upright, mine look like half full water balloons"

Unless your a guy. 

Guys can say things like " hey big guy, I'd like to play football with the gang on Saturday, but I just can't take it after losing all the weight."

So remember, you want to be skinny?

Don't eat!!!!!!

It will be worth it.

I am here to present myself as exactly who I am.  I am somewhat and maybe even more than somewhat, immature.  I really get a kick out of xanga fights.  Maybe because I don't think they matter, half the people don't even know each other in " real " life.  You know I have like a million friends on xanga and not to be mean, but I have no idea who 99% of  them/you are.  I wouldn't know you if we ran into each other on the street, and frankly, and this might sound cold, I don't have any great desire to actually meet most of you.  Not that you are bad people, or I think you have bad personalities, I could actually see myself being friends with you, had we not met on Xanga.  But I enjoy the anonymity and the distance.  And plus, often when you meet the person it's awkward, and I hate that.  I like having the computer and delete and edit button in front of me.

That's why I like xanga, the only real life people, who only sometimes comment me, are my mom, sister and daughter.  I think it's funny when my mom calls and says she is angry at, insert made up screen name here______ for  making a rude comment to me or she didn't think ___ understood what I was saying at all. 

I appreciate all your comments, especially the ones that make me laugh, but even the stupid ones or mean ones, or ones that don't agree with me at all, are appreciated, because that means you took the time to read my site. 

Now I would block you if you called me the C word or a racial epithet or REALLY hated on me.  Or if you sent me a link to your porn site.  Honey, if you've seen one vagina you've seen them all.  I don't need that crap.

But other wise, WHO CARES.  And as far as political arguments go, waste of time, no one is going to change the other persons mind in a blog.  I don't care how long and how many times you tell me Obama is a Nazi or the anti Christ, I will never agree. 

One time my daughter http://sincerely-jennie.xanga.com/, asked me
" why do so many conservatives come over to your site?"  and she wondered why people who's religious views are so far from my own come around and I think it's because

1) I rarely write about politics or religion, but when I do I try and be fair ,and I try not to be self righteous.

2) People are people when it comes right down to it and I try and write things we all can relate to on some level

I don't like heated arguments that go nowhere if I am involved in them.  But reading them on Xanga gives me a laugh.  Because like I said I'm immature and two because it amuses me that people can generate that much drama on a blog site. 

Now my last blog, I spoofed ( made fun of basically) this young girl, as did many of you ( thanks for all the comments) but really it was kind of mean spirited. 

I did have a pang of guilt, I'm a nice person and she's a real girl, and if she saw it it might have hurt her feelings.  But them I thought, hey she put that blog out there.  If you write something, you might get made fun of. 

Two people basically told me I was NOT funny and sucked as a spoofer.  I really don't care.  I am not here to learn how to spoof, or be clever or funny.  This is just in case they want to come back and give me tips.  I am here to write stuff in a box and hit submit and let the cards fall where they may.

I didn't delete their comments nor did I say they were F'ing C words, didn't block them, didn't go scope out their sites for my next spoofing blog ( although that one was tempting).  I just responded in an uncharacteristically  grown up way. 

I didn't freak out and say something like

" really, well I went to your site and you are not funny at all, loser B@TCH."

I'm only immature in the fact that I enjoy making fun of stupid people and I enjoy these xanga fights. 

So keep going. 

It really makes the time here so much  more interesting. 

Reasons Why I Won't Quit Smoking Weed

I already know that smoking weed is bad for you, and ba ha ha. I already see the movies at DARE Program.  And like I heard it was kind of illegal. You get high. People are frightened. You age. You die. Well, guess what? Eventually, you die.You do, everyone does, die I mean they die a lot.

I don't smoke weed to look cool. I don't smoke weed to fit in with crowds (obviously, if I don't to look cool). 

I smoke weed to look like this

 
 

Hell yeah, that's a picture of me smoking weed.

 I'm really high right now but I I guess I'll just bullet it.

Reasons Why I Won't Quit Smoking Weed:

• I feel happier (Yes I do coke to feel better, but smoking is nice too).
• I'm not having a kid any time soon (Really. I'm way too old).
• I eat like a pig (Hello, food tastes SO much better).
• It won't make a difference to me aging (I know cause my Dad and Grandparents smoke Weed, but they haven't aged much at all. It's cause they smoke crack too, they're so healthy and don't age. At all, no aging for them, wait who said that?  Plus, I look young. I pass for 60).
• Sometimes, I'm just bored, so I smoke weed.
• It makes me less angrier, of a person (wait, what was I saying?).
• If I quit now, I'll end up smoking  Weed WAAAY more in the future. So, I might as well not quit, unless I have a perfectly good reason. Which I don't, do I???? Do I??? Who said that?

I mean, seriously, I love my self. But don't take it wrong. But, if there was a reason to quit, it would be the sake of pregnancy or death .
Healthkicker responds: Obviously it's up to you, but  according toTHC, "Adult male and female weed smokers gained an average of 13.2 and 14.5 pounds, respectively, because they had the munchies."

http://www.healthkicker.com/709681299/reasons-why-i-wont-quit-smoking/#

Sorry, but SERIOUSLY!!!!!!

Sorry I spoofed you smoking girl, but it had to be done.

The topic is: Why does it seem we are we becoming a society of people with malignant self love?

http://featured-grownups.xanga.com/

After first seeing the topic on the Featured Grown ups page, I commented that, it would be a hard question to answer, and I would have to give it some thought.  But as soon as I got off the computer I realized it was not hard at all, it was obvious, but I had no intention of going back and writing it then, so I'm here now.

When I was a kid, not everyone got a trophy.  In fact, I can't think of one trophy or ribbon I got.   When my kids were little everyone got a trophy or a ribbon, just because. 

When I was a kid we had consequences when we acted out, yes it is now unheard of, but I got spanked and yelled at.  I knew I was in trouble and I knew why. 

When my kids were little if you did anything even close to that you were a bad parent, uneducated, and a child abuser.

My art and homemade cards were saved and put on the fridge, but NOT EVERYTHING I made was framed and gushed over for an hour.

My parents would say "  Oh, what a pretty picture, why don't you go put it on the refrigerator."  NOT, " OMG , Honey did you see what Laura drew?" " THIS could be in an art gallery, or an illustration for a book!"  They didn't frame it and display it in our living room for all their friends to see what was basically a scribble.

As a society we always seem to go to the extremes.  A bunch of child experts must have decided that everyone of my generation has low self esteem.  So to make sure the next generation felt good about themselves, we now tell all kids, how great, how wonderful, how important they are.  Which is fine, to a degree.

But as I said, we always go to extremes. 

When my babies were born, we were no longer allowed to let them cry.  EVER, under any circumstances.  Every need was to be met, immediately. The "experts" said you can't spoil a baby, and I agree, but I really don't think a baby is going to be damaged because they cried for two min. And I'm pretty sure their self esteem would be intact.

Kids are now allowed to have bottles until they are twenty, binkies until they're 25, and if they want to suck their thumb in 4th grade, they can.

If a kid, any kid, acts out, is bratty, is a bully, says no, swears, is rude to adults etc.. they have ADD, ADHD, oppositional defiance disorder, OCD, Bi Polar, and a number of other disorders.

Now I realize these disorders are legit.  I think I have some ADD myself.  However, NOT ALL kids have these things.  In fact it's probably a lot more rare than everyone thinks.  Oppositional Defiance Disorder?  "  Oh, he can't help it he was diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder !"  OMG, the kid is rude, and spoiled.  Lets call it what it is!!

Some of you know I work with court mandated youth.  Which means they cut a break and are in our facility instead of jail.  They are to receive " drug treatment", even though the strongest drug 90 % of them are on is marijuana.  Really they are there for another crime, like robbery. 

Those 90 % complain non stop.  The snacks ( chips, cookies etc..) are "lame".  The fact that they are getting one on one attention in school means nothing, we don't see enough movies, they should be allowed to sleep, they get too much work, ( maybe two hours tops, with no homework), we don't take them on enough field trips, the food sucks ( I eat it, and a lot of it is home made salads that you would find at a family picnic). 

If I dare to ask them to do something or have a " tone" I am disrespecting them and they tell their counselor, who 9 out of ten times, asks me how I, not the kid, could have done things differently.

Kids, even " good" kids are openly rude to adults.  Often when the parent is sitting right there.  Kids are openly rude to their parents, in front of others no less.  The parent just sits there, not even embarrassed they are so used to it.  They say the kind of things that if I said them to my mother, I would be picking up my slapped face across the room. 

I am continually shocked at how many times I am at a store and some young person slams a door in my face when entering or leaving a restaurant, or how no one bothers to ask if I need help when I am dropping all my stuff, or I can't open a door because my arms are full.  Or how no one says thank you when I hold the door for them.

Young adults feel they are entitled to everything, because that's how they were raised.  They are special, they are great, it's all about them.  If they have a problem, everything must me dropped, it needs to be fixed, and fixed right now.  They can do whatever they want, no one is as smart as them, no one is as talented, don't encourage others, it's all about them.

I tried to raise my kids to know that, yes, they were great, but they had to work for things.  And no, you don't get every part you want in the play.  And if you talk to my friends like you are talking to a peer, you may never talk again.  And the same goes for how you talk to me.  I am the mom, that's it. 

And even though you do really suck at soccer, trophy or no trophy, you have a beautiful voice, and you are much nicer than that bratty goalie, which I promise will get you further in life. 

I raised them to know that you don't have to like your teacher, but that's the teacher you have, so suck it up.  Unless they are hitting you, or humiliating you, we are not getting your class changed. 

I don't care if EVERYONE has the $1,000.00 gaming system, we can't afford it, so sorry you got stuck with " poor" parents.

And since you can now talk, go to the bathroom on a real toilet, and are a whiz at calculus, the bottle has to go.  Cry all you want, you'll get over it.

Was I perfect? Not even close.  But I feel like for the most part, my grown children ( 20 and 22) are nice, hard working, respectful, young people and both have a desire to give back to the world they live in.

Not perfect, but not spoiled, narcissistic, brats either.

We as a society created these narcissistic monsters and I don't see it getting any better. 

So that's my answer and I'm sticking to it.  Unless someone comes here and convinces me otherwise.

 

Ladies and weird men, I just threw $10.00 down the drain, don't buy this product!!!!
 I am always looking for an alternative to shaving.   I've done the waxing thing, Nair ( nice rash Nair, thanks) and a few other products.  Thankfully, I never used Nads, after listening to my girlfriends horror Nads story you wouldn't either. 

Before I get to the Smooth Away story, let me say I have only bought a few things from informercials and it usually does not turn out well.  I have bought them in the AS SEEN ON TV. section, and it has never been the miracle it claims to be. 

One or two times, back in the day, I did fall for the weight loss products that show a morbidly obese woman and then a top model for the after picture.  Lose 100 pounds in ONE WEEK it would say.  Needless to say, aside from being dehydrated and gassy, I lost maybe half a pound that week.  You know the results of those aren't typical, read the fine print!!!! 

Back to Smooth Away.  I saw it on TV. and it sounded too good to be true.  I know RED FLAG.  But I got obsessed, it was at my Walgreen's and I HAD to have it.  No more hairy pits for me, no more patches of hair that I noticed I missed and now have to hide with my hand.  No pain, and it exfoliates too.  I never cared about exfoliating, but hey, added perk. 

So I go into Walgreens and I explain what I am looking for and that I can't find it in the razor aisle.  She has NO idea what I am talking about but sends me to the Aisle with the Nair and Nads.  Red flag number two. 

I find it right away!!!!  The girl looks over and says "  Oh, you wanted smooth away?"  She says it in a strange way, like if you asked "  Oh, you wanted to be totally ripped off?"  that's how she said it.  Red flag number three.

I am all excited and I bring it up to the girl and she rings me up, it was $9.99 or something like that.  I pay.  But then a little voice says " ask the girl about it"  So I ask

Me:  Umm, ha ha, have you heard anything about Smooth Away?  I mean I already bought it, but you know?

Girl:  Well you can return it!!!!!  Just keep the receipt!  ( Red flag number four)

Me:  But would I WANT to return it?

Girl:  Well it kind of only works on really fine hair.

Me:  Like my face?  Which thankfully has none yet?

Girl:  Yeah, ( giggles nervously, so now I think I do have hair on my face)

Me:  But I can't use it and return it, right?

Girl:  ( Looks grossed out)  UH No, I don't think so, should I ask the manager?

Me:  No, I'm pretty sure I can't return my used hair removal pads.

Lady in line laughs really hard.

What flag are we on now?

So I bring it home and proceed to remove all the hair from my legs. 

Then...

Ring Ring

Me: Hello

Friend :  hey watcha doin?

Me:  Just opening My Smooth Away

Friend:  Oh, that so worked on ______ insert boys name here

Me:  Okay, I won't ask, well if it worked on his it will work on mine.

I start to do it

NOTHING!!!!

Me:  It's not working!

Friend:  Press harder

Me:  I am putting my full weight behind it, nothing!!!

Friend:  Did you put the pad on or are you just trying it with the plastic thing?

Me:  Of course I out the pad on!!!  ( She must really think I'm stupid)

Friend:  Maybe it only works on a lot of hair, let it grow out then try.

Okay, who's stupid now?

Later in the day

Jennie:  Hey mom, your Smooth Away does not work AT ALL, how much did you pay for that?

Okay, Smooth Away, you have stolen my hard earned, working with bad boys money.  Now you are going to pay.

At least 10 people read this blog, and let me assure you they WILL NOT be buying your product ( right you guys?) 

You are going to sit there with the Nair and the Nads and be sorry you ever messed with me. 

By the way 10 people, feel free to recommend this post to warn others ( no, I am not being a Xanga whore)

I am just trying to do a public service!!!!