featured Grown ups

  • You're not that special

    The topic is: Why does it seem we are we becoming a society of people with malignant self love?

    http://featured-grownups.xanga.com/

    After first seeing the topic on the Featured Grown ups page, I commented that, it would be a hard question to answer, and I would have to give it some thought.  But as soon as I got off the computer I realized it was not hard at all, it was obvious, but I had no intention of going back and writing it then, so I'm here now.

    When I was a kid, not everyone got a trophy.  In fact, I can't think of one trophy or ribbon I got.   When my kids were little everyone got a trophy or a ribbon, just because. 

    When I was a kid we had consequences when we acted out, yes it is now unheard of, but I got spanked and yelled at.  I knew I was in trouble and I knew why. 

    When my kids were little if you did anything even close to that you were a bad parent, uneducated, and a child abuser.

    My art and homemade cards were saved and put on the fridge, but NOT EVERYTHING I made was framed and gushed over for an hour.

    My parents would say "  Oh, what a pretty picture, why don't you go put it on the refrigerator."  NOT, " OMG , Honey did you see what Laura drew?" " THIS could be in an art gallery, or an illustration for a book!"  They didn't frame it and display it in our living room for all their friends to see what was basically a scribble.

    As a society we always seem to go to the extremes.  A bunch of child experts must have decided that everyone of my generation has low self esteem.  So to make sure the next generation felt good about themselves, we now tell all kids, how great, how wonderful, how important they are.  Which is fine, to a degree.

    But as I said, we always go to extremes. 

    When my babies were born, we were no longer allowed to let them cry.  EVER, under any circumstances.  Every need was to be met, immediately. The "experts" said you can't spoil a baby, and I agree, but I really don't think a baby is going to be damaged because they cried for two min. And I'm pretty sure their self esteem would be intact.

    Kids are now allowed to have bottles until they are twenty, binkies until they're 25, and if they want to suck their thumb in 4th grade, they can.

    If a kid, any kid, acts out, is bratty, is a bully, says no, swears, is rude to adults etc.. they have ADD, ADHD, oppositional defiance disorder, OCD, Bi Polar, and a number of other disorders.

    Now I realize these disorders are legit.  I think I have some ADD myself.  However, NOT ALL kids have these things.  In fact it's probably a lot more rare than everyone thinks.  Oppositional Defiance Disorder?  "  Oh, he can't help it he was diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder !"  OMG, the kid is rude, and spoiled.  Lets call it what it is!!

    Some of you know I work with court mandated youth.  Which means they cut a break and are in our facility instead of jail.  They are to receive " drug treatment", even though the strongest drug 90 % of them are on is marijuana.  Really they are there for another crime, like robbery. 

    Those 90 % complain non stop.  The snacks ( chips, cookies etc..) are "lame".  The fact that they are getting one on one attention in school means nothing, we don't see enough movies, they should be allowed to sleep, they get too much work, ( maybe two hours tops, with no homework), we don't take them on enough field trips, the food sucks ( I eat it, and a lot of it is home made salads that you would find at a family picnic). 

    If I dare to ask them to do something or have a " tone" I am disrespecting them and they tell their counselor, who 9 out of ten times, asks me how I, not the kid, could have done things differently.

    Kids, even " good" kids are openly rude to adults.  Often when the parent is sitting right there.  Kids are openly rude to their parents, in front of others no less.  The parent just sits there, not even embarrassed they are so used to it.  They say the kind of things that if I said them to my mother, I would be picking up my slapped face across the room. 

    I am continually shocked at how many times I am at a store and some young person slams a door in my face when entering or leaving a restaurant, or how no one bothers to ask if I need help when I am dropping all my stuff, or I can't open a door because my arms are full.  Or how no one says thank you when I hold the door for them.

    Young adults feel they are entitled to everything, because that's how they were raised.  They are special, they are great, it's all about them.  If they have a problem, everything must me dropped, it needs to be fixed, and fixed right now.  They can do whatever they want, no one is as smart as them, no one is as talented, don't encourage others, it's all about them.

    I tried to raise my kids to know that, yes, they were great, but they had to work for things.  And no, you don't get every part you want in the play.  And if you talk to my friends like you are talking to a peer, you may never talk again.  And the same goes for how you talk to me.  I am the mom, that's it. 

    And even though you do really suck at soccer, trophy or no trophy, you have a beautiful voice, and you are much nicer than that bratty goalie, which I promise will get you further in life. 

    I raised them to know that you don't have to like your teacher, but that's the teacher you have, so suck it up.  Unless they are hitting you, or humiliating you, we are not getting your class changed. 

    I don't care if EVERYONE has the $1,000.00 gaming system, we can't afford it, so sorry you got stuck with " poor" parents.

    And since you can now talk, go to the bathroom on a real toilet, and are a whiz at calculus, the bottle has to go.  Cry all you want, you'll get over it.

    Was I perfect? Not even close.  But I feel like for the most part, my grown children ( 20 and 22) are nice, hard working, respectful, young people and both have a desire to give back to the world they live in.

    Not perfect, but not spoiled, narcissistic, brats either.

    We as a society created these narcissistic monsters and I don't see it getting any better. 

    So that's my answer and I'm sticking to it.  Unless someone comes here and convinces me otherwise.

     

  • My Book

    Wow, I have not done one of these in awhile, but since I have time, I am doing a http://featured-grownups.xanga.com/ assignment.  If I were to write a book, what kind of book would I write?

    I am probably never going to write a book, but if I were to write one it would either be a memoir or short essays ( which would basically be the best of my xanga entries.)  Or possibly a How to live with your ex husband for dummies and your dumb for living with your ex husband.

    I have read quite a few memoirs and I think mine would actually be kind of interesting, I have had a lot of experiences that most nice Jewish girls from the suburbs don't get to experience, or nice any girls for that matter.  However, I am not sure a memoir is the way to go.  As the Million Little Pieces guy found out, you have to be pretty honest in a memoir.  And in order to keep it interesting you have to TELL ALL.  So if I were to say for example, someone sucked in bed, or that I never really did like so and so, that could cause problems.  Plus I am still hoping to get some money when my parents die.  It would be a risk to hope that alienating them in my childhood tell all, would be made up for in book royalties.  You may be wondering what my cool life experiences are, but I am still considering the memoir, so you'll have to wait. 

    The short essay book would be easy.  I would just have someone edit my Xanga and poof, book.  But would it sell?  I have been told here from time to time that I should write a book.  I always tell people if they can get an interested publisher, I will give them some of my profits.  So far no takers.  Basically, I am too lazy and definitely not secure enough to seriously pursue book writing.  There are so many people like Dave Sedaris, Erma Bombeck, Augustan Burroughs, and so many more who I can't even touch.  But I am always sincerely flattered when anyone suggests the book writing thing. 

    I am not sure about the Living with your ex dummies book.  So far I am the only one I know who is dumb enough to live with their ex husband.  And trust me, this is no easy living situation. 
    For example, this is a picture of something expunge ( ex husband) put on our kitchen sink



    Who does that?  I mean really does that not say it all?  I want to go in his bathroom and write flush here on the flusher since forgetting to flush is apparently a water saver, whereas the sponge thing is a crime against kitchen cleanliness all over the world. 

    The other day he was going to " kill"  Matt for not closing the brown sugar bag.  I said "  wow, strong word KILL, how come you didn't KILL him when he smashed up your car, or jumped off the roof and split his tongue open, or was messing around at the show choir competition and put his arm through a window, or when he made the fake Id's, or when he drove without a license, AND broke into the pool for a senior prank?  I could go on and on but that would be a book in itself, I think you get my point.   

    Of course, if I did write a book and it did actually sell, I would probably not live with my ex husband anymore, but then what would I write about for book two?  I don't think anyone wants to hear how I am now living it up by my pool and getting my much needed stomach removal surgery.

      But it sure would be nice to put the sponge wherever I damn well please.

  • Laura for President

    The Featured grown up site has given us a writing challenge and I have taken the bait, What Would I Do if I were president of The U.S.  Click on the link for more fabulous entries.  But first here's mine.

    Well, I can tell you what I wouldn't do.  I wouldn't be talking about stressful things like the Economic crisis and Fannie Mae.  All that does is stress people out and make them eat more chocolate.   It just  makes me long for a milk chocolate piece with the caramel in the middle.  Of course I have no desire for the bad kind, with the clear stuff that pours out.  Why do they make those kind anyway?  We all poke the middle and throw out the icky ones.  But that's besides the point.  The point is that's what I think of when I hear Fannie/Fanny May/Mae.  So they need to stop saying it.

    Not that I am denying we have a problem, but I have a cure.  Charge more for White House Tours, but make them more fun.  For example, $5.00 for five min. of jumping on Lincolns bed.  Or  $1.00 a min. to have alone time with your honey in the Oval Office.  I am calling that one the Bill and Monica experience. 

    It's genius really.  Have you all ever been on one of those tours?  BORING.  If I remember right it was " This is the red room"  bla bla bla.  So disappointing.

    Also, lets bring the fun back in money.  I would order the mint to use florescent colors to print the $$$. 

    I bet some of our lazy, pot, smokers would be more motivated to work to get some of that!!!!

    No jobs you say?  Well I for one, as President, would create jobs.  All people making over $250,000.00 a year will be forced to hire maids and butlers from a national list.  If you don't work due to laziness, or you are deemed one of those kids who comes back after college and never gets a job or leaves, you will be asked to leave the country or risk jail.  We don't need any slackers in America.

    Health Care?  If you smoke, eat bad ( former smoker, bad eater here) and don't exercise ( raises hand), you must pay for health care.  I know, I threw myself under the bus with that one, but it's only fair. Come on fellow fatties, it was your choice to bing on those Whoppers, why should we have to pay for it?   All healthy people get free health care, but not dental, just because dental would be taking it a bit far.  As for kids, anyone caught taking their fat kid to McDonald's more than once a month as a treat will be fined and faces house arrest. 

    Speaking of fat kids, I would offer tax cuts to people who actually made their kids go out and play.  No breaks for parents who let their kids sit on their tushies all day in front of the computer.

    As for the war, I don't like it, but I have no military expertise.   I know I don't want to get bombed or be annihilated, so I guess I would have my VP. figure that out.  Not sure who that would be, but whatever.

    I am sure you can all appreciate I would make a great President.  Feel free to write me in.  I promise to blog daily about all the goings on in the White House.  And we know THAT would be pretty interesting.

    Should I bring Expunge ( ex husband)?  Just a thought.  Let me know.

  • Chinese food and other things I've learned in 48 years A Featured grown Up Entry


    Seeing as I just had my 48th birthday, I think I am considered more than a full fledged grown up.

    And that was my intro to the : drum roll : Featured Grown up's July topic

    Grown Ups

    Here's two things I have learned since I was officially a grown up 27 years ago.

    1) Chinese food does not taste as good when it's not from a Chinese food cartoon.

    2.  Being grown up is not as fun as I thought it would be.

    When I was young and not grown up, I couldn't wait to be grown up.

    An obvious perk was being able to eat what I wanted, when I wanted.  Not that my parents were overly strick about food, but I can say I have not had liver and onions since becoming a grown up.  I have however, made meals out of nacho cheese doritos and onion dip, and that has not really benefited me in any way, except that it is damn tasty.  And I'm not to proud to admit, most of the spinach I have consumed in my grown up years, has been in dip form.

      A downside to making your own food choices,  is the expense.  A kid in the grocery store doesn't really give much thought as to where the money comes from when they insist generic Fruit Loops don't taste like the real kind.  Even though that's true, they don't.

    Then there is the weight/health issues that go hand in hand.  I was a very healthy and thin kid, this may have been because of the liver and onions or it just could have been because I was actually moving more than an inch a day.  All I know is, when I started making all food and exercise choices for myself, it was down hill fast.

    A grown up is allowed to read, look at, and watch porn.  Exciting right?  No, not really.  Take away the sneak aspect and it's just, well, stupid.  Lets take a porn movie for example, now I am no porn movie expert, but the ones I have seen, the acting is just really bad.  In fact, children's shows like Sesame Street have better actors.  Not only that most of the " actors" don't really seem to be enjoying themselves.  I have found my mind wandering "  She must wax down there, I bet that really hurts."  "  No way are those boobs real,"  "  I wonder who writes the scripts for these things?"  "I could probably do that."  "  I wonder how much porn script writers make?"

    Whether it's reading those obviously, fake, penthouse letters, or taking a sneak peak at a nudie magazine, it's not the same when your technically allowed.  The exciting part is the danger, the possibly getting caught, , and even the embarrassment.  At 48, I'm like "whatever, you have seen one penis, you've seen um all."

    The same goes for drinking.  If you drank before the legal age, which most people have, suddenly, legally puking all night is not as appealing.  There is no desperation there, no getting away with anything.  You can drink at a party, you can drink in your house, you can drink at a bar, you can even drink on a train and a plane.  Now it's like woop die doo.  And you learn, quality booze can really be expensive.

    A grown up can smoke, drink, have sex, rent a car, and vote.  If it's legal, a grown up can do it.  But of course being a grown up, I have learned with all grown up rights, comes responsibility. 

    Oh sure, we heard that saying as kids, but who really gave it much thought?  I know I didn't. 

    I wanted to be able to crack open a beer at noon if I wanted too, I don't even like the taste of beer.  I thought a grown up could watch TV. all day and night if they so desired.  Who would have thought electricity actually comes in bill form? 

    Bed time?  Ha, I would stay up as late as I wanted when I was grown up ( which turned out to be 10:00 pm.)

    What I wouldn't give to go back.  When my biggest responsibility was passing Algebra.  I want some one else to pay my bills, make my doctors appointments, and do my laundry.  I would gladly eat some liver and onion, if I didn't have to worry about having a roof  over my head. 

    Being a grown up has been kind of a let down.  I would tell  kids who want to rush the process, eat your liver and onions and enjoy it now, cause grown up time comes way too fast.

    Peter Pan knew what he was talking about.

  • True to Xanga

    I would like to thank the Xanga team for honoring me with Xanga True.  You can read all about me and the other 4475 people here.  I would like to thank my children first and foremost, for without them this award would not have been possible.  It all started with me stalking their sites, and then all the hours of semi uninterrupted blogging time.  Sure there were times when they got frustrated that I was on Xanga for 24 hours straight and they were hungry, but they got used to it. 

     Next, I would like to thank my family and friends, and most especially the idiots and boys at work for giving me all this blogging material.  Of course my best entries are not about you at all and usually involve total strangers, but I know your supposed to thank people so...

    I saw on the above linked site an interesting comment.  This person was concerned that us Xanga true people would think were better than others because of our unique and obvious new tag/badge.  Well yeah!!!  I mean seriously, I put a lot of effort into my site and I make every effort to whore for comments comment on others sites.  I have dirty bathrooms people!  Not that I would clean them anyway, but come on!  You think you can just come on here and blog once a month, never comment others and get rewarded?  No, I think not.

    And I'll tell you something else, I never got a My Space.  It's true I have cheated a little bit with facebook, but I don't write notes on there so it's not really cheating. 

    You know the Xanga team didn't say this, but I think we ( by we I mean the 4476 Xangans ) probably have the best sites too.  You can't expect to write a bunch of illiterate, boring, crap, and get a special badge/tag.  They say we got it because we update too much a lot, and we comment whore leave others comments, but we know it's really about quality.  It's true, I begged asked for a badge, but I'm sure I  was going to get one anyway.  You also get one if your helpful on Xanga.  I don't know what that means, and frankly I don't care, if anyone is true to Xanga, it would be me.

    Now it's true, I have been very lax about visiting others since we got the new reply feature.  But I don't think they can take my True badge away because of that.  After all, I wasn't the one who thought up the reply feature.  At least I have been very good about replying to comments, which is more than I can say for everyone. 

    Some of you still have no idea what I'm talking about, and that is why YOU do not have a true badge.  Did you bother taking the time to go to the link, read all about it, and come back?  No!  And that shows me and Xanga, your just not as devoted and deserving as I am. 

    If you don't understand the sarcasm and wit of this blog, your dumb, and then you REALLY don't deserve a true badge.  Lets make Xanga the smart community, and My Space can have the pediphiles and stupid people. 

    Look for my True  tag badge of honor, when I leave you a comment.  If I ever do.  Boy, this reply feature is great!

     

    Ps. I have noticed I have used the word True a lot in this entry.  I think that is very telling.

    go here

     

  • Without Price

     

    Featured Grown Ups!

    Topic:  Priceless:

    Like the commercial

    Or Not.

    Priceless?  Without price?  I am usually not cynical, but everything has a price when you think about it.

    When a kid does something really cute, we say it was priceless.   Or if something is really funny.

    Well, WE don't really say that, because I don't think I use that expression.  But some do.  It is probably used more after the commercials.  You know the ones I mean.

    My children are priceless by the definition we are all thinking of.  But without price, not so much.  As a matter of fact, they are pretty expensive, although worth it.

    Since it's Fathers Day I should probably say something like, spending time with Dad is priceless, but I hate cliche's in blogs, they are so cliche.  Okay, that's not exactly cliche, but close enough.

    Back to the original topic, priceless.  Obviously it means something is so great you can't put a price on it.  Like a baby's smile, or spending time with dear old dad,   You know, all the mushy stuff.  Or it can mean you just heard the funniest thing ever.  This would probably occur in a comedy club though, and the drinks they force you to buy are definitely not priceless.

    Mastercard has a priceless.com.  I know this because I googled priceless.  You can submit what is priceless to you.  Some of the picks look pretty expensive to me, like riding the waves in paradise.  Well you would have to either live in paradise, which is most likely expensive, or you would have to be able to travel to paradise, which I know is expensive.  That's why I live in non -paradise suburbia and don't travel to paradise. 

    So there you have it, priceless.  For other priceless entries ( hey is that a double entendre?) go here

     

    Happy Dads Day.  You know who you are.