Back in the day, a sure fire way to get on the front page of Xanga was to use the word "sex" in the title. Now you basically just have to post.  You could never pass @TheTheologiansCafe in his number one spot, well, maybe if you used the word sex and vagina in the title. That tells me Xanaga is dying, has been dying a slow death for a long time.

Is it terminal though?  Lets examine, when I joined Xanga many moons ago, both my kids used Xanga regularly.  I call these days the days of long, facebook, status's.  All the high school kids used Xanga to write cryptic or not so cryptic entries about their huge, horrible, high school, lives.  Here is a short example.

Dear Xanga ( aka public diary) 

Why doesn't SHE get it?????  WE are meant to be.  You think he loves you, well listen up! He told me he loves you as a FRIEND.  So get a clue.  Also, my mom is such a B****.  If your name is Megan, or Jill, or Mandy, you know why.  If not, none of your business. ha ha ha

Well till tomorrow then, 

Angie

OR

I don't have anything to say. bye

 

These were usually the boy entries

 

comments on Angie's entry

 

Lana: You wish, sorry but we are seeing the Notebook tonight, get your facts straight, you're the friend. 

Megan: ha ha, no kidding

Mandy: Lana, you're SO mean.  She's been hurt enough

Angie: You 2 can have each other!!!!!!!  Megan? what do you mean? Call me!

 

Why then did I decided to join the ranks of the immature drama queens?  Well it started with me wanting to comment on my son's entry about me losing his laundry.  Excuse me?  Still pisses me off.  And I WAS kind of immature back then in my early 40's.  I also used it to get messages out to my kid's group of friends.

For example, that was when someone was putting poop on people's cars.  No, this is not a joke.  It was disgusting and weird and disturbing.  so I wrote an entry to get the word out that I WOULD find out who this was and I would punish them.  And true to my word, I did find out, a couple years ago.  Ok, it took a while, I admit, but if you're reading this, and I don't think you are,  I'll still find a way to punish you, even though you are married and I think moved away.  Which makes you very lucky, since if I had found out who you were at the time, your name would have been announced on my Xanga, and it is doubtful you would have gotten someone to marry you, since you would have been Known forever, as shit boy.

Back on topic.  Xanga, soon turned into a way for me to connect with strangers, and write, what I thought were kind of humorous and interesting things that people could relate to.  This turned into an obsession and eventually caused a HUGE riff with my ex husband's ( expunged ) new girl friend.  Not that she wasn't looking for a reason to hate me.  Which I still don't get, she got the "prize" and she was welcome to it.

Anyway, Xanga was a way to blog, and as I said connect with strangers.  I was only slightly nervous when I met a couple people, which was probably stupid in retrospect, since both could have been serial killers.

But of course they weren't, since you really do get to know a person through their writings. Although, we now know there are tons of people who have been catfished, so I am glad @mouthygirl, really was a southern housewife, not a 500 pound, bald man.   

soon after the girlfriend fiasco, I blogged less and less.

facebook replaced Myspace and I guess xanga too, although Xanga, to me wasn't the same at all.

 

And that, I think, is what became part of the problem.  Xanga could never decide what it was.  A blogging site, a social media connection with friends and family, or a social media site with strangers?  

I think if Xanga would have decided then, to be a blogging site, and reward, good, quality written blogs, with front page, based on them actually reading and seeking those blogs out, they would be thriving today.

I read some of the funniest, wonderful, well written blogs, that deserved to be recognized. Blogs that could have been authors of best selling books, and their blogs would have connected back to Xanga. And as I said, could have been thriving.  I even offered, to the team, to find great blogs, for free.  I already had actually, they just needed to feature those people.

 Before you scoff, think about it, it has happened on other blogging sites, with many people.   A couple really popular blogs, get asked to write a book,or just write one based on their huge following, they do, it sells, mega, free advertizing. 

So it's not really about them asking for money from me and you.  It's about me having a clear idea what they want to be.  Decide, do it right, and then maybe.  Until then, it's doubtful, I would feel like I was paying for one of those radical treatments, with terminal cancer.  The new Xanga,and what they offer, makes no sense to me.  If you can convince me otherwise, have at it.

 

 

 

 

 

Yes, it's been months, AGAIN, but I'm here now and that's all that counts.  Recently, I was a mother of the bride.  It wasn't as exciting as I thought, but it was moving just the same.  Here is a photo of the bride

 

Here is a photo of her dad,( expunged) and me

I think we look related, which is weird,

Who can get married in the US.?  

Everyone, except

Children- Children can't get married because they are Children.

Animals,- Animals can't get married, because they are animals, unless they are dogs, and it's pretend.  Like this couple

I picked these two because they are the colors of my two, and similar looking, ( I got another one since my last blog).  My two are boys though, so they can't get married in Il. even pretend, because they are both boys.  And brothers, even though not blood related.

Siblings- because there is no movement for sibling marriage because 99.% of society thinks that's gross.

Inanimate objects- because they are inanimate, unless, again, it's pretend like this couple-

Plants- because that's silly.

Gay couples- because it makes some people uncomfortable.

I am divorced.  I am allowed to be divorced because legal marriage is a legal contract and you are allowed to break legal contracts sometimes.  And a legal contract is not the same as church, which frowns on divorces for the most part. Or temple, which may or may not frown on divorce, I'm not sure.

Divorce isn't the best for kids but Dr.Phil says kids would rather be from a broken home than live in one, and that makes sense to me.  Just like I think it's better to live in a loving same sex parent situation than in a house where your parents are opposite sex but the dad beats up the mom, and or/ molests the kids. But Il. disagrees and Il. is the best state ever.  Except not really because our Governors go to jail and they don't have to go to the icky half way house when they get out, because they were Governors once and that means they are special.  

child molesters are allowed to get married and if you beat your first wife you can still marry another women after that as long as you get a divorce first.  

You can even murder people, like your parents, and get married in prison.  But usually only to the opposite sex because same sex is unnatural.

If your religion or non religion doesn't care if you are the same sex and get married, it's still mostly not allowed because some religions say no, and you are allowed to mix church and state if you want.  Even though the constitution says that is a no-no.

I'm not sure why, but it's true.

 

1967

The U.S. Supreme Court unanimously overturns Pace v. Alabama (1883), ruling in Loving v. Virginia that state bans on interracial marriage violate the Fourteenth Amendment of the U.S. Constitution.

As Chief Justice Earl Warren wrote for the Court:

"There is patently no legitimate overriding purpose independent of invidious racial discrimination which justifies this classification. The fact that Virginia prohibits only interracial marriages involving white persons demonstrates that the racial classifications must stand on their own justification, as measures designed to maintain White Supremacy ...

"The freedom to marry has long been recognized as one of the vital personal rights essential to the orderly pursuit of happiness by free men ... To deny this fundamental freedom on so unsupportable a basis as the racial classifications embodied in these statutes, classifications so directly subversive of the principle of equality at the heart of the Fourteenth Amendment, is surely to deprive all the State's citizens of liberty without due process of law. The Fourteenth Amendment requires that the freedom of choice to marry not be restricted by invidious racial discriminations. Under our Constitution, the freedom to marry, or not marry, a person of another race resides with the individual and cannot be infringed by the State."

From this point on, interracial marriage is legal throughout the United States

This does not apply to gay people though.  They don't have a right to persue happiness.  even though ironically, gay, used to mean happy. They are allowed to be unhappy with the opposite sex though, even though I wouldn't like to be married to a woman, because I'm not attracted to them and they can be very bitchy.

But I don't have that problem, phew.

I can get married to a man, and I can divorce him later, because that's allowed.

Pretty soon Gay couples may be able to get married in Il. because the law might change.  Some people won't like this and think that will ruin their own marriage and Il. as a state, even though it won't and Il. is already ruined.

My grandchildren, who I don't have yet, will probably be able to marry whoever they want, unless it's a child or table.  And most likely, not a rose bush either because that's silly.  

if my grandchild, who isn't born yet, is a boy and wants to marry another boy when they grow up, I don't care because I want people to be happy and if you are born gay it's very hard to be happy with a partner who makes you want to throw up.

some people say that you are born an alcoholic but you shouldn't drink and if you are born gay you shouldn't love either because both are bad.  

But gay doesn't ruin your liver as far as I know, which is gross if you ever knew someone with a fried liver.  And gay sexual acts don't cause car accidents, unless you are doing it in the car, while you are driving, and some straight people do that because I read that somewhere.  And I'm sorry I gave you that visual, but some gay people are smarter than straight people and realize that's dangerous.

People are very concerned about gay marriage, because it makes them uncomfortable.  Or their Church says gay acts are sin even though the bible says a lot of stuff and some of it is not cool. 

You are allowed to pick and choose in the Bible because you just are.  For example, you used to have to stone kids who where disrespectful to their parents, but now you can't even throw pebbles at them because they will call the cops and your ass will be hauled off to jail.  Instead, parents have to pretend that their kids are not rude, little, brats ,because jails are still not fun.

Someone's church isn't supposed to decide what's legal, but some people think that's the same.

People are not concerned about child molesters getting married because they usually marry the opposite sex and that's not unnatural.  

I don't want to get married again.  But the general consensus is, (and by general I mean my mom and boss,) that I should get married for financial security.  I think both are thinking Jewish, because a lot of Jews have money and that's not being anti-Semitic, it's just true.

I don't want to though, because I am not attracted to ALL men, even if they have money, and even though I am not gay. That would make me unhappy, ( if I wasn't attracted to them) but financially secure, unless there was a pre-nup and I got divorced which is allowed, but means I get nothing.  Which means I would be trapped and I wouldn't like trapped.

So I choose to stay single, because I have a choice.   

The End

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don't want to brag, well actually I do.  In the last couple years I have lost at least 40 pounds possibly more.  Lost a lot of it last year, lost more this year and have kept it off.  Well, with my new found appearance  more and more people are pushing the dating sites on me.  

The last time I was in the dating world the way you found a date or potential boyfriend was through high school, college, or a bar.  I met expunged ( ex husband) at a dive bar, while my friend was looking for an illegal substance to purchase.  Not an auspicious start.  

I am still friends with the woman who was looking for the illegal substance, but I'm pretty sure she gave that up at least 20 years or more ago, and the dive bar has been torn down.  At least I think it was torn down, if not, I can't even imagine how the smell of urine, smoke, and beer mixture smells now.  

Everyone insists the way you find a potential mate in 2011 is on a dating site.  I have to say these things just freak me out a little. I don't want to make a clever profile and think of witty things to say.  I don't feel like digging up the best photo of myself and then meet the person and have them think " wow, nope not even close to the picture."  What if I only get gross people interested, like this man on Jdate?

If you are him, can I make a suggestion?  Lose the stuffed animals, seriously, not attractive to anyone over five.

In fact, creepy beyond belief.  

I mean that would be such a blow to my self esteem, I think I would go back in the non-dating world and never come out again.  

Anyway, I decided to research the best dating sites, just in case.  And I came up with these.

 These are not the best dating sites, but they are interesting, so I thought I would let you, the readers, decide which one I should choose.

 

 http://dailydiapers.com/

People who are into diaper wearing adults

wow, this makes stuffed animal guy seem like a catch.  Really?  Please don't pick this one.  I would like to say straight out I am not into depends, or grown ups who wear them.  I'm sorry if you have to, but I even told expunged, once the diapers come out, he's gone.  To the home, to the kids, I don't care, but it wasn't going to be with me.

 

http://www.datemypet.com/

I don't think they mean you actually date their fish, I am pretty sure you date them.  However, right now I don't have a pet and it looks like you need to make a profile for your pet to make sure it is compatible with the other person's pet.  And since I am pretty sure cats and fish don't mix, I think this could limit the pool.

 

http://www.writeaprisoner.com/inmate-profiles/default.aspx

Prisoners

Can I just say unfortunately the men I found on this site are better looking then the Jdate guys on average.  Not all, but on average.  I thought he was kind of cute 

 

He's only 23, but he may be desperate.

Then there is this one, he reminds me somewhat of the boys at work.  If I was going to go that route I really could wait until one of the boys at work became legal and date them when they go to prison, at least I know them.

 

http://2Date4love.com/

is a site for people who CAN'T have sexual intercourse.  I can, but don't think I want to.  pre intercourse is a lot of work for women and a lot of worries.  For example, we need to make sure the breasts look good in all positions, which is almost an imposible task for big breasted women, which I am.  Then there is all the making the rest of the body perfect and scrubbing yourself clean until you're raw etc...  After all that I'm tired.  I was thinking of lying and saying my down there ( too immature to use the real word) was broken and closed for an indefinite period of time.

 

Then again

https://scientificmatch.com/html/index.php

promises great sex and a match based on body chemistry.  This one costs $2000.00 so I was thinking of setting up paypal in case any of you wanted to donate to the get Laura a sizzling date fund. 

 

This is for furries

definition:

In the simplest sense furries are fans of anthropromorphic animals. That is, animals with human like features or tendencies (Fox McCloud, Sonic the Hedgehog... etc) pretty much all furries will create their own character or "fursona" 

http://pounced.org/

don't think so, but who knows?

Then we have

http://www.crazyblinddate.com/

Don't see the person until you meet

http://saladmatch.com/

http://www.vampiresocial.com/

http://www.mulletpassions.com/

All self explanitory

 

And even though I have not smoked pot for about thirty years, I could always start again for the right person

http://www.420dating.com/

 

This one has the possibility of being fake but if not, I thought my name should be momof Goodytwoshoes- a great Amish name if I do say so myself

http://amish-online-dating.com/

The guy with the funky beard looks interesting.

 

http://www.datealittle.com/

short people need love too

seemed appealing, I'm only five one, thought it would be nice to feel like a giant, but then decided I might not be physically attracted to a man who is 4 feet tall.

http://www.intelligentdating.net/

wants professionals, and I'm not really sure Para professional counts even if the word professional is in there.

 

http://www.maturesinglesclick.com/

is for old people, which I am, but not sure if I want an 90 year old guy.  Unless he's rich, about to die, and has no children or anyone else slated to inherit the $$$$ 

 

http://www.adoptaguy.com/

Sounds promising.  Women SHOP for a man.  I just would want to make sure I get what I purchase and that there is a return policy in place.

http://www.farmersonly.com/

I'm not even close to being a farmer, but I know farmers and stepped in pig poop once, so maybe. 

https://www.nolongerlonely.com/

For people who are mentally ill. Not sure if mild depression counts, but the title sounds too desperate.  Plus, I'm not really equipped to date a sociopath.

So friends, relatives, and strangers, what do you think?

I asked my Gay bff to fix me up with a heterosexual man with his personality, but surprisingly, most of his male, single, friends are Gay, and that isn't going to work out.

I'm not sure I really want to date yet, but I should probably be prepared just in case.  

I'll go with the majority of recommendations.  If anyone comments on this at all.  If not, I guess I'll have to choose one myself.

But I would appreciate the help, don't let me down.

 

PS.  Just so you know who you're dealing with these are current photo's of me

 

And here is an old one for comparison and to make new ones look REALLY good

I think when choosing a dating site for someone you should know what they look like, unless you pick the blind date one, then it's surprise!

And now folks, it's another entry from : drum roll: the blog ring : play music:  Featured Grown ups!
The topic is humor.  What makes me laugh etc.. 
Well first let me tell you what does not make me laugh, most jokes that are NOT told by a stand up comics do not make me laugh.  Either I don't get it, or I don't think it's funny.  Like the "there were two guys in a bar" ones, I may chuckle, but usually it's like, huh? 

My favorite comedian is Ellen Degeneres.  I like Ellen because she takes everyday things and makes them funny.  That is my favorite kind of humor.  She says things we have all thought about and just presents them in a funny way.  Her HBO special Here and Now is hysterical.  If you have not seen it, rent it, or you tube it, it's REALLY funny.

Shows I liked and thought were funny, were Cheers, Friends, Will and Grace, Seinfeld, I love Lucy, All in the Family, Mary Tyler Moore Show, and the Dick Van Dyke Show, just to name a few.  I enjoy funny books too, a couple favorite authors are David Sedaris and Laurie Notorno.
I have been told I am funny.  This is almost as good as being good looking or thin.  People who have no sense of humor pretty much just suck as human beings. 

I enjoy humor where people laugh at themselves, their race, gender, weight, looks, religion, etc...
A pet peeve of mine is when people take themselves too seriously.  I also enjoy satire and spoofs. 
I used to love the old Carol Burnett show, when they made fun of Gone with the Wind.  Or the old Saturday night Live show, with Gilda Radner and John Belushi and Steve Martin.

I love shows like Candid Camera and The Jamie Kennedy show, because " real" people are often the funniest of all. 

Funny xangans are my favorite to read.  A funny blog often makes my whole day.  I wish there were more of them.
  A good laugh is one of the most underated things on earth . 

I love to make people smile and I love laughing with and sometimes, I admit, even at people. 

I am sarcastic and enjoy sarcastic people.  It annoys me when people don't " get" me, but I am trying to be more tolerant about that.

Humor is a gift and THAT is nothing to laugh about.

I'm sure your all dying to hear an update on our own Mary Kay (Former entry that addresses this)  Well it seems her bail was lowered  because she has M.S. and the stress would cost the tax payers too much money.  Sort of like a Paris Hilton thing, except she does have M.S. and stress does make it worse.   And she's not cute or rich, but you know what I mean.

Now I am no lawyer, but I think I would try to use the M.S. as a defense.  Although I have never heard of M.S. causing someone to sleep with young boys, I am sure there is some way to use it.

In other news since her release, there has been a sighting.

One of the nurses at work ran into Mary Kay at the Super Walmart. 

Nurse:   Ahhh, I mean, hello Mary Kay ( awkward silence) ummm, well I'm really not sure what to say.

Mary Kay:  What is there to say?

Wow!

The Nurse saw a T.A. in the check out and said " May Kay is here, in produce!"

The T.A. was in line though.  I would have gotten out of line and rushed to produce to run into her, but that's just me.

I was really hoping this would become national news.  32 year old, White, Jewish, not very attractive, woman with M.S., harbors and sleeps with a 16 year old black, ward of the state, runaway, and she was his counselor at a residential treatment center!  It does not get much better than that!

Besides I wanted Stone Phillips to come to work and knock on our car windows and stuff, while we drove away.

In other work related news, one of our clinical supervisors who is mainly in charge of discipline, had a heart attack.  He is 46, and not over weight. 

The boys have taken to a new fun activity called hurling urine at each other.  I guess instead of spit balls, they are making urine balls.  It's the new cool thing to do, in case you didn't know.  So you see why the supervisor may have had a heart attack.

This reminded us of the time Miss L almost ate a spit ball at work, thinking it was cottage cheese.  Now I'm thinking it might not have been a spit ball at all.  Not that one is really better than the other.

I guess some of the youth boys grabbed some adult female clients butts at the 4th of July bonfire.  They got in trouble, but I know many of the adult females and they are pretty skanky, so I bet they encouraged it.  Even one of the gay male adults said " please let me come back as a gay male again in my next life, if I have to deal with females like that"  They are not very lady like.

He's a pretty nice guy, Miss M and I like to diss with him at lunch.  He's the first flaming gay African American I have ever met.  He's writing a book about gays in prison.  I guess they are popular there.  Which makes sense.

So that's it, always exciting at the nut house.